Daily Post--3/3/08

I really like this one from the topics generated by the group... Today's topic: Do you feel that since you have lost the weight you have forgot where you came from? I mean now that you are a smaller size you are more critical of others that are bigger than you. My input is pretty much covered by a blog entry I put up last night! Check it out at http://lovinlifewithlea.blogspot.com/2008/03/doing-more-expecting-more.html and if you want to look at the blog as a whole, the main link is http://lovinlifewithlea.blogspot.com/ Hugs, Lea

You know what? I caught myself doing this. There's a guy I work with. He's a nurse and he's great. He also has a recurring problem with cellulitis, to the point that he's been hospitalized twice. He's sole care for his young son. He's asked me about my surgery a few times, and I answer his questions. I've also said a few times how happy I am with my procedure and what it has given me back in my life. Needless to say, this person is incredibly obese. I watch him eat in the cafeteria, and it appears he can't get the food into his mouth fast enough. He lost 80 pounds 4 years ago when his marriage fell apart (trying to get the wife back), and then of course put it all back and then some. I get frustrated because he's such a bright, intelligent, articulate man and he's probably not going to be around when his son is raising his own kids. I know that everyone has their own journey in this life, but it's getting really hard for me to watch. I've avoided him a few times and I don't want to do that, because I genuinely like this man and enjoy talking with him. But I don't know him well enough to voice my concerns. It wouldn't be appropriate. He was my former boss.

I would like to respond to this as a pre-op, making a sincere effort to lose weight. One of my team members is a 64 year old morbidly obese arthritic diabetic (to name the major medical issues). I think I am critical of her, but it comes from love. I can't stand to listen to her complain about being so sick to her stomach, or blood sugar spiking/falling. At least three days a week she comes in with a big Hardee's breakfast, complete with the potatoes and extra large drink. She always has a salad for lunch to try and make up for it. She will generally be eating junk throughout the day though. I just want to yell at her that she is hurting herself. She exercises a few days per week, so she oftentimes will really try. But when I see her sabotaging herself with these breakfasts, or constant snacks, I just want to scream. I imagine people probably thought the same of me at many points in my life, and it kills me to think that also. I don't know all I should know about diabetes, but from what she has told me, eating this way can't be healthy. I try to talk to her about WLS, but she won't hear about it. Fine, that is her choice. But please quit complaining to me about how bad your health is when you are not trying to take control of it. And for the records, I have never come out and said anything to her about her eating habits. I don't want to hurt her feelings. OK so sorry for the rant!

Actually, I am only about 1-1/2 months post op and have "hardly lost the weight" so this topic may not be for me...yes I am down almost 80# which is wonderful but I am still obese with a long way to go..Every day I work toward my goal and feel healthier and happy because I can work this program and I want to work this program..but I also know that I have been down this road b4 and while I know this surgery is here as a tool to help me I CAN SCREW THIS UP and be right back where other folks are now...so because of that and because I have lost hundreds of pounds over the course of my life and gained it all back plus a bunch more I feel tremendous pain when I see others in my situation. Yes, I have been there..in many ways I am still there..every day is a struggle and I could be one bag of fritos away from a complete binge and utter destruction..I would hope that I could remember my trials and my challenges and the pain I was trying to eat my way thru and not be judgmental and critical of others. There but for the grace of God go I...may I never forget that!

I don't think I am more critical of others that are larger than me. I think I compare myself more...I think things like "Am I smaller than her?", "Was I that size before?" I try really hard to not think bad thoughts because I still feel that I look the way I did almost 70lbs ago. I don't think I compare to make myself feel better, I think I do so that I can try to figure out what I really look like. I look in the mirror and all I see is but, gut, hips and chins!!! AND the famous sagging tummy!

I make it a point not to treat others the way I was treated. I whole heartedly remember the pain and suffering I was in while a large person. There is no way I would treat someone that way. I do look at some and think that I wish I could help them and give them information about WLS. But, that would be rude and hurtful to some.

I would not say I am critical of large ppl, but when I see some one larger then I am, I think they should see about the lap-band or RNY! I just want to see everyone get thin or healthy. If the insurance companys would just say to dr's if your patient is over 100 pounds over weight then suggest this as a way to get healthy. I know it would cost a small fortune but it is worth it. The goverment could pick up their deductable and then there would not be a burden on them to finish paying for it. My surgery was $52,000 I had to come up with $5500 out of pocket. So no I just wish they all had the band or RNY!

I don't think I've critical of the obese; I had to live with that for many, many years. If anything, I think I'm more sympathetic.

I do forget what I looked and felt like 3 years ago. However, I am rarely critical of those struggling with obesity. I find myself more empathetic than anything...and always willing to share my story with those who ask. Christy

I am so not critical of anyone.......I feel sorry for them, even those who are supper skinny. Gayle