Daily Post--2/21/08

For me some relationships have changed - we used to go out to eat every Thursday with another couple - since my surgery (or the last year) they don't want to go out and tend to make excuses (we know this because they are neighbors) about going out. we both were big, she has made comments like "since you've had surgery now I'm the only big girl" or comment on how small i'm getting - she wants to be smaller, but is making no effort to do so by eating smaller portions or exercising - i get tired of the comments when we're eating - "is that all your going to eat" on the plus side, my brother in law has been dating a gal that had surgery before me, so when we get together with them she and i split a meal or she'll make meals that are WLS friendly and invite us over. my other friend will not make WLS friendly meals and won't come over to our home for meals??!! I've come to realize it is her choice to do so and that is that. I won't give up on our friendship, but there is only so much that I can do.

My relationships are the same. Didn't really have any binge-buddies...I did that by myself! And I have a couple of friends that go to the gym regularly, so if anything, I might see them more.

I still go out with my friends.I just order different food then before and I now take most of it home.Before I would eat everthing.I've only lost one friend after surgery and I'm still not sure why she quit talking to me.I know she didn't approve of the surgery,but it was my choice to have it.Oh well life goes on and mine has been great. Patti

I'm not much on going out and about. I am pretty much a loner that's one of the reasons I stay here all day. When I do go out nothing has really changed. Carla

No it has not changed. My buddies are still that my Buddies...MY FRIENDS... In fact they often ask me where is the place that is best for me to eat. If they choose to go someplace I can't or won't eat.. I go along for the conversation. The only friend that my relationship has faultered... and probably because I recent the fact that she has not been supportive enuff.. is with my BEST friend.. who is going through a second bout with breast cancer and I am not concentrateing on her needs exclusively. I know that she is ill and needs to be takeing care of herself.. And feel I am being awfully selfish.... but feel she is ignoreing me because I have ALWAYS been heavier than she. How much effort does it take to say GOOD FOR YOU! Thank you for leting me vent. Alice

Hi Lea, I haven't encountered this problem yet. If I ever went out to eat, it was with my family. I am not a drinker or bar going person, so I haven't had to face those issues as of yet. Katy

In the very beginning, some relationships got "cautious", such as my oldest and dearest friend, who works with me. She and I used to have lunch together quite often (she's about the same size as I was prior to WLS). We don't eat out much anymore, but I think that's due to the fact that I bring my own lunch now (it's just easier). We do occasionally go out, and enjoy it very much! My daughter also had some issues in the beginning. She was not morbidly obese, but overweight, and we used to eat out a lot. At first, losing that activity together was difficult for us both, but she changed her habits and has lost about 60 pounds in the past 18 months. She looks (and feels) great, and now we share the same basic eating plans, so there is no more issue!

My buddies still go to lunch with me and watch me eat healthy. Some have tried to mimic me

I still go out to eat with my friends; I just know what I can and cannot eat now. They are so supportive, that it doesn't make it hard for me at all!!! I've adjusted well and they've adjusted with me. Michele

Nothing's changed on the lunch/dinner experience except for I eat way less an d go to healthier places. I do go to the gym now and have made more friends... and I find I'm short on time for myself.