Daily Post--2/8/08

I would have to say for me the hardest thing I've faced in this journey is that I was hoping it would bring my husband and I closer, but it's actually seperated us more. I know it's issues he needs to learn to deal with; people making comments are something he seems to be having trouble dealing with. He pushes me away more and that hurts. Hopefully one day he'll just learn to accept that this is the real me, I feel good about myself, I have confidence and regardless how small I am, he's still the man I am so in love with. Michele

Getting stalls to break!!!!!!!!!! I'm faced with this right now and I dont know how to do it. Krissy

EXERCISE!!! I hated it then and I hate it now. I have to force myself... Curves and water Arobics.. I find any excuse that I can not to go. Once I am there I enjoy it. But it is just getting there. I am finally able to walk, and find I enjoy doing it but it is the same thing.. to many years of not doing it. I have spent much of the week with a friend at the hospital. She is going through chemo... and fell on the ice.. broke her right wrist and sprained her right leg. Did I walk at the hospital. HECK NO!!! Read my book. I need to be there with her today as her daughter has surgery. So I promise I will walk the halls. I WILL WALK THE HALLS!! Alice

The hardest thing I've faced in this journey is... that physically I'm a thin person now. Mentally I haven't fully arrived there... I don't see all of the changes others see. It may take plastic surgery for me to fully see it. For some it can take 4-5 years for it to sink in... others... never... there's always a mind/body disconnect. I'm hoping my connects. It's the attention from men that tells me I'm thin... I need to work on this too. All I wanted to do was lose weight and my whole world has suddenly changed, I need to learn how to move through it now. Thank you, Kim

I think Kim and I have the same struggle. I don't see the size 10 girl I see the size 28-30 girl. They operate on our bellies not our heads and for me that is hard because I can still eat the foods I shoudn't and don't get sick. This is all a learning expericece even tho I am almost 2 years out, it is still hard work. But I refused to gain it back!

Great post Lea - I think the hardest thing I've faced in my journey is faling back into old patterns/habits. It is too easy to get complacent and just fall back into doing things the way I've always done it - I've now come to realize that this can work (after everything else I've done that hasn't) and it is up to me to do it. I'm getting back on the exercise program that I used to do, and finally have come to see that I am responsible for the things I do - the tool is just that - a tool. I wasn't sure about doing the Easter challenge, but I am going to do it now - I need to be accountable - even if it's just reading posts and sometimes replying. I just need to get back to basics and follow my program day in, day out and not think that it won't work because it will. I can make it happen and get back on track.

At 3 1/2 yrs. post-op, the part of the journey called "maintenance" is BY FAR harder than the losing phase. For someone who followed all the rules and was almost a textbook player for the first 1 1/2 yrs., I have struggled MIGHTILY with maintenance even though I thought I had learned the new behaviors, new coping skills, new tastes in food, life with exercise, etc., that would carry me into long-term success! I hated (& never did) exercise before wls, and I still hate it. Although I have been pretty darned faithful to it all this time, with a few short lapses, I still hate it and have to talk myself into it every single time. I have tried mixing it up--doing various things--sometimes the gym, sometimes outdoor stuff--and I still hate it. I have RECONCILED myself to the realization that this HAS to be part of my life, but it is very hard for me. And the constant struggle with emotional/addictive eating will be forever. This has been the biggest shock for me--even though I had read/heard that it would probably happen. I simply did not realize the strength of the old habits/thoughts. The daily food temptations are very, very tough for me. But in spite of that gloomy picture I have just painted, I am STILL 100% happy that I had wls; and in spite of the re-gain I'm trying to deal with, I'm indescribably happier and way healthier than I was pre-wls!

My current state of depression. I've never been like this before. I'm scaring myself, my coworkers, and my daughter. I don't know what to do. Denuise and I can't even spell my own freaking name right

Both trying to get myself to exercise and resisting the urge to eat for comfort have been the most difficult parts of my journey so far. And, I have a strong sense that they will remain my toughest challenges as my journey progresses.

The hardest thing I've faced in this journey so far is.....realizing that some people just can't be happy for me...and it also took me a long time to realize I'm not the same person as I was before.