Daily Post--1/25/08

We've talked before about relationship troubles as a person loses weight and becomes more confident, etc. Now I'd like to ask--How supportive is your spouse/significant other? Are they supportive of your weight loss and body transformation? But, and possibly more important, are they supportive of the new you overall--the more outgoing and confident you?? I mean real support, not just being okay with the changes and not saying anything, but actually encouraging you to get out there and LIVE or even getting out there and doing things with you so that you both enjoy this new you.... Lea

My husband is not one to say or show any outward signs. He neither compliments nor does he complain. My biggest support comes from right here. My sisters also encourage me and help me feel special. This feeling special thing is new for me. Carla

My husband has commented that he can tell that I've lost weight but he's not really encouraging right now. He was suppose to start dieting when I came home from the hospital but he hasn't, he now says he is going to start in February when we join a gym. I see that he wants to continue to live this life we have for so long and eat out and eat sweets but he knows I can't do this anymore....he apologizes for it but doesn't really help when he continues to do this stuff. I understand that it is difficult, I mean I had to go have surgery to be able to lose weight and he is bigger than me now and it's hard....it is so hard to change these habits and eat the right kinds of food. I still struggle every day, I still wake up and think about food in the morning, I still eat too much but of course now I throw up, I still go look in the kitchen for food when I am bored or I am at the computer or tv....I still am the same old poor habit, face gorging Kellie its just now I can't do the things I use too. So I guess to expect someone to change overnight when we ourselves do not change overnight but are forced to change is expecting too much in the beginning. I hope that made sense?! Kellie

My husband struggled with me having this surgery for a long time...by the time I made up my mind I was doing this with or without his support he decided it would be better to be with me than against me...He has become very supportive and helpful..always comes up with new questions about the surgery and after affects that I get to research and tell him what I find out. All in all I can't be happier with my hubby right now.

My husband and I were married in 1981. I was not over-weight. Each year a few more pounds, reaching 267 in Sept. '07. My husband has loved me, tried to help me when I've asked for it, and put up with all my failures. When I decided to have WLS, he encouraged and helped me from the get go. Asking questions and giving compliments. He has once or twice, gentlely asked when I was going to get back to excerising, when I have stopped for more than a couple of days. Weather permiting, we go walking together. We have been talking about all the things I'll be able to do this summer ~ this journey has proved to be a wonderful thing in my life and marriage. Jules

My hubby is outwardly supportive (says nice things and compliments me) but I see him struggling more and more with his food addictions. I bet he's gained 30 pounds since my surgery. I think he has issues he needs to deal with. It's sad that he's not "involved" in my life more. I feel the distance.

I have had only praise and encouragement to live life to the fullest. He tells me I look great and that he loves me regardless. He is happy to eat healthy and had not complained when I serve him dinner WLS style. I have actually become more modest of my body. I wear clothes that are form fitting but I have raised my neckline and lowered my skirts and shorts to the knee. The only complaint he has had was that for a long time my favorite topic was my weight. I brought up my weight my loss my slow tendancy to lose and he got tired of hearing it. He just wanted to have his wife that talked about eveyday things back. Now that I have slowed and almost reached goal it is different. I dont talk about it as much, just once a day announcements maybe. lol We are both enjoying the new me, but I am still the old me in many ways.

My boyfriend is very supportive. We go to the gym together, he encourages me to work out and has changed his eating habits to eat like me. Its a nice change for the both of us! LB

I can't say that I have a signifcant other just yet, because the man I'm talking with has met me in person so far. I haven't told him about my wls yet either, I feel like it's just not the right time and that I would like to see him inperson first. Bit most of all I to kind of get an idea of what kind of person he is and let get to know what kind of person I am. I don't know if that considered chicken but that's my decission on it.

Lea: My husband is not one to say yeah or nay. I get a compliment once in a great while, but honestly, it's been hard. He seems to be really having a hard time accepting the new me, the outgoing me, the thin me. He has really pulled away from me and that's really hard on me. I love him tons, I've tried talking to him, but all I ever get is it's me, not you. I've talked to my PCP and he tells me I need to put a stop to this right now, but I've tried. I am sure others have this problem, too. Michele