Daily Post--1/4/08

I have been divorced 13 years, so there is no relationship. As I lose weight and feel and look better, I know that my self esteem is improving. Is there someone in my future?? Don't know. . . .

I don't think there's been much change to our marraige just yet, aside from the fact that I have a happier outlook on life. During the initial meeting with the surgeon, he brought up the fact that WLS can change/end a marriage, and after that my DH and I talked a lot about what we were thinking after hearing that. We've made changes in our releationship (more communication) to help make it stronger, but until I'm further along, I don't see any problems. I tend to think that as long as you have good, open communication and trust, love should be able to conquer all Jenny

I've been in a relationship with my bf for ten years. There has never been a day I never felt unloved. He's my best friend. I don't intend on being married by choice. He didn't want me to have the surgery as he was afraid of losing me. He loved me as I was. We met when I was heavy, he was attracted to me... my weight has swung back and forth like a pendulum thanks to my multitude of diets. He's always been supportive and has always witnessed my struggle. He wants me to be happy with me... He's older than I am... his libido has slowed... mine has changed for the better... since we're not married... we've had discussions concerning sex... he knows our situation has been bothering me... With his permission I will probably have new experiences while still maintaining the relationship. I know I may be flamed over this. I've given him permission as well as it wouldn't be fair that only I step out. I only know that I'm missing something that I feel that I need.

I have to say I think that it's made my marriage suffer a bit. I am still losing (I am only 6 months out), but I have lost over 100lbs so far. I think my husband was insecure before, but as he so politely puts it...he "wasn't really worried before." Now, even when I want to go walking, he says he needs to come too because I am easier to kidnap! GRRRR!!! I think a lot of the problem was my low self esteem to start with. Oh well...no need to bore anyone! Besides...that's what therapy is for :P I guess we will just see where it goes! I do know that the only thing I regret about the surgery so far, is that I didn't do it sooner! Christy

I think my relationship is stronger...because I'm stronger. I've been with my partner for 16 years and I can now see us spending a long life together. We've even started talking about plans for our future (we are both in our 40s) Rachelle

I do not have a husband or boyfriend so I can not put any insight into this question today

I have been devorced for many years and have not even dated for several years. I think/know that as I lose I will and am getting more self confidence and attention. At the moment I only socialize at one place and have been there for years. I am afraid that if the fellas do begin to notice me... I will be very out spoken about the fact that I am the same person I was before .. AND NO THANKS GUYS.

My husband of 36 years has suffered along w/ me through all the ups & downs of my weight through the years (I weighed 128 when we were married). For many years relatively early in our marriage, when I first started gaining weight, he was critical, and it caused many fights and much hurt on my part. However, as the years went on and he realized how horribly hard of a issue my weight was for me, he softened and became more supportive and less judgmental. But I must say that there was a lot of damage already done to my self-esteem, not just from the humiliation of gaining & losing so much weight through the years, but also from the things my husband said that I could never forget (even though he changed later). With that said, he eventually came to deeply regret some of the things he said and his earlier attitude, and as we matured together, I knew his love was unconditional. He was my biggest supporter through my weight loss this time. Our marriage was strong anyway, but I think it's a lot more fun now, and I'm sure he does too! Our sex life wasn't non-existent before wls, but it was very infrequent; now, in our late 50's, we both feel so young again in that area! He is so complimentary of how I look, and he claims I have changed in how I react to stresses, etc. I guess I have. I know he is proud of me, and I am so happy to finally not have to feel bad that he was "robbed" of the wife he married!

Well, I have noticed my husband eating a lot more food now. I think he is out of control. My parents have even noticed that he has put on the weight. I'm not sure what to do about it. I've tried to encourage him, but he keeps on eating.... Any advice?

First let me say my marriage is so strong. My husband is so loving and supportive. I have always had the self-esteeme of a 140 woman (my brother has teased me about this). My husband does love large women and think they are beautiful. His family asked him what he was going to do after WLS, because he has never dated small women. (I was the largest woman he dated.) With my starting size being so high (548) the surgon says I will be a huge sucess if I get to 250-270 lbs - which is still large. (I am 6 foot tall). My husband has told me over and over that I am his best friend and he will love me no matter what. He goes out of his way daily to show me how much he loves me. He always has, so our relationship has not changed. He went to the class with me where they talked about WLS and divorce. I am now the weight I was when we started dating almost 5 years ago. I have lost 102 lbs.