Daily Post--1/4/08

We hear a lot about changes in relationships/marriages after WLS. The holidays can be stressful. In addition to the stress of the just finished holidays, having weight loss surgery can change the way you look at things--not just things in general, but things regarding your marriage or relationship with a significant other as well. It can change your self-esteem and make you a stronger, more outgoing and less dependent person. Since having WLS, how has your marriage/relationship changed? Do you think your relationship is stronger OR do you think that these changes/stressors have weakened your relationship or allowed you to see the situation as it truly was and given you the desire to make a change? Lea

I am not one to answer this question - I've never been married and haven't been in a long-term relationship in many years... but on a side note, I recently started dating! I used to think that I was "too fat" to attract any man. The funny thing is that while I was very heavy, there are many women as big or bigger than I ever was that have wonderful men that love them. I think my attitude was more of a deterrent than my weight. That doesn't exist anymore (thank God!)... so I am LOVING life!

I think my marriage is stronger, mostly because of my change in self esteem and caring about myself again. I also think my husband is in awe about the amount of weight I have lost. I guess I am too. I was at the bottom and could not see a way out, at my top weight of 321 and being 57 years old at the time. I had thought about it for a long time but felt it would never happen due to cost etc. and scared of any surgery. My husband was all for it when I found out my insurance would probably pay. He did save the money for it just in case. (used the money to build me a new addition, sewing room on my house) Now he is saving for my TT. He is wonderful and proud of me. I weighed about what I do now when we met 36 years ago. Julia

This is a hard question for me, everyone said WLS will make a good marriage stronger and a weak one weaker. I never thought I had a weak one, I am married to a wonderful man, a great dad an honest hardworking nice guy that is now trying to make me happy. But I have changed and not sure I know what I want from life or if I even know how to be happy. Can anyone else really make us happy? How do we make ourselves happy with who we are? I have more questions to this stuff than answers..... So yes my married has changed but I am still trying, still hoping, wishing and wondering.....

Just like Jean, I have never been married nor in a LTR but I must say...I am really loving my new found confidence since losing a little weight and hope that it helps me nail an awesome guy in the very near future!

My relationships with friends has improved. They all want to talk about my weight now. I seem to fit in better with those that are thinner than me. I don't feel like the fat guy in the bunch anymore.

my hubby feels very threatened by the fact that i have lost weight and become more sociable...he does a good bit of our cooking and often sabotages my eating-or tries to -he doesn't hold my mouth open and spoon the food in! we have been married only 5 years -3rd for each of us-i have never really been on my onw and i am thinking i need to be.however, i made my vows. nuff said.

I think that my relationship is the same, but not the same. Does that make sence? I have gotten back the ME that he married. I am not ashamed of myself so therefore my confidense level is at a all time high! And he likes that. He likes that I am again spoiling myself. I am buying things for ME! Not the kids or the house. So it is Stronger because I am stronger! Amy I

My marriage is as strong as ever. I do, however, find myself worrying about my husband's weight issues. I guess I just want him to feel as healthy as I do, and live a long and healthy life.

WLS has definitely changed my marriage. I always thought I was a confident person, but since WLS many people tell me that I "thought" I had confidence, but now I prove it. My husband and I are filing for divorce. It is not a result of WLS, but now I have the courage to file. We really have never had a great relationship and probably should have never married. He blames the reason I left on the surgery, but in reality it has little to do with it. We are completely different people with different goals in life and sooner or later we would have separated. Kelly