A little depressed....

Hello everyone, I have kind of been laying low since I introduced myself to this board but I do come in and check messages daily and I am always so impressed with the amount of support you guys always are there to give.So I have a few things going on and Iam going to spill the beans cause I need some extra support right now. First off I finally got added to my partners insurance so now I can get started with the approval process.I hit my first roadblock already.I researched this site and found a member who has the same insurance as I have been trying to find a fat friendly doctor or at least one that I could feel comfortable with as I have had very bad experiences with doctors so far.Well as luck would have it I found this member and wouldnt you know it her primary care doc is not accepting new patients so Iam playing a waiting game for a primary care doc. This person I met on here is going to try to talk to the doc for me to see if she can slide me in so we will see.... I also took a big step before the holidays and gave up sugar completely. It was very hard let me tell you as the majority of my calories were coming from soda.So I didnt weigh myself all through the holidays and made the mistake of getting on the scale today and I have not lost a single pound.This is 4 weeks with 0 sugar.The only thing I can figure is about the only meal I have the chance of eating is very late at night as I normally work 12 hours or more a day.Can someone please tell me how this can be.Im trying to stay positive here but seems like I am being with challenge after challenge. Thanks so much, Teresa

Teresa, It seems like when we finally get to a point where we are ready to make changes in our lives something happens. I went through the process of having my surgery twice. The first time was horrible, the doctor was very rude. I was very uncomfortable about seeing him. So, when my insurance at the time denied the surgery I was not so upset. My second time around was no were near as bad, but I have still had some obstacles. Obstacles are going to be there from now until you get to have your surgery and then the are there twice as much. What you have to do is find your way around them. I know that sounds silly, but during this process many things are going to be tested. From something as small as you giving up sodas to something as major as your relationship. Its all an obstacle. Once you find your way around the first obstacle everything will start to fall into place. Come back here as much as you need. I found so much help on this board, it has been a life saving thing for me. I truly hope things work out for you the way you would like. Keep your head up and stay strong. Melissa

Hi Teresa, I am sorry you are feeling so sad. The first time I applied, I was denied and they told me to try again in 18 months. I was devastated. I cried for days. I know you are in Maryland, but if your insurance will allow you to see a Dr. out of state, I totally recommend Dr. Wynn in Newark, DE. I travel almost two hours to her, but she is worth it. Her office totally took control of the insurance issue, and I didn't have to do a thing. I just found out Friday I was approved for my surgery on 1/24. If it doesn't work out with the other Dr. and you are able to go out of state, check out Dr. Wynn. http://www.chrias.com/ She is awesome. Best wishes to you, and please do not give up hope. If you need to chat, please feel free to email me. Also, please keep posting here. You will receive the very best support from the folks here. I will be praying for you. Big Hug, Rosa

Thanks so much Rosa that means so much to me as I really dont have anyone to talk to about this.I literally dont know how much longer Iam going to be able to do my job if I cant walk and get around any better than I do this surgery is a MUST for me.I know its not going to be a easy road for me and Iam willing to do whatever it takes but it just gets hard sometimes.Dont get me wrong I have a very supportive partner but sometimes I feel like noone really understands.Congratulations on your scheduled surgery you will be in my prayers daily.And I will see what the insurance people say but I think you have to be in their network of doctors but hopefully I will be able to find a descent doctor. Thanks, Teresa

Teresa, Don't loose hope! I too went through this process twice. Almost three years ago I had done all the pre-surgery appointments and tests only for my insurance to deny me again without a valid reason. I had to hire a lawyer to get an approval letter. When my approval came through the small company I worked for flipped out. They were scared thier premiums would go through the roof. So in the middle of the year they broke contract and changed insurance companies. Sure I could still have my surgery, but I would have to go on Cobra (to the tune of over $400.00 a month) for 18 month. That is how long it would be for me to have the surgery, get out of the "danger zone" and then wait for open enrollment again. I was furious. But you know the surgeon that was going to do my surgery was banned from all local area hospitals last year. Turns out he wasn't doing a very good job and people were having unnecessary complications and even dying. Everything happens for a reason. I ended up finding a new job because I was so mad at the company I worked for and got my approval letter on the first try after waiting a year (to make sure FMLA would cover my time off work, just in case I went outside the normal disability). The surgeon I used is one of the best in the nation, and I honestly believe it was all a blessing in disguise. So how did I "keep the faith" so to speak for all that time. All I can tell you is take every step in stride. Greet each day with an attitude of anticipation instead of desperation. Anticipate good things are going to happen to you and if something appears to be negative, remind yourself that to get to the "best" sometimes the road is longer with a few detours. An attitude of desperation never allows you to see the good in things because you are constantly waiting for "something." It isn't that it will never happen, but you might miss a road sign along the way. I hope this isn't too preachy, since it is January I am working on my own attitude as well. This is my personal message for myself as well. As far as your diet goes try to remember that diets don't work. I think everyone will agree with that! It is awesome that you cut sugar out of your daily intake! Good for you! That is a HUGE step. I made that step five years ago and it was harder than quitting smoking. But it saved my life long enough for me to have the surgery. Find yourself a healthy program to follow. Something that is simple and easy for your own lifestyle. Sugar isn't the only enemy out there against a healthy and well life. I reccomend either South Beach or the 3 hour diet. I did well on those when I kept them very simple. They were eating plans, not really diets. They were balanced and not cutting out all carbs or all fats or all of anything (well except my self inflicted sugar free life). I can't promise you a huge weight loss, I never lost more than thirty lbs. on anything... and I was on a nutritionist diet for a year while going to the gym at least three times a week. But I can tell you that except for after the surgery, I felt healthier than I ever felt because at least I was treating my body right. We are all here for you, like those who came before us were here for us! This is an awesome place, especially the GLBT board. It has been my lifeline many a time and I am thankful to everyone on this board! You will get where you need to get, and we will all be cheering for you every step of the way!!!! Cam

Thanks so much Cam just knowing that I actually have someone out there pulling for me really means the world to me. Thanks, Teresa