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Hi all... So I feel like I need to post because I honestly can't say this out loud to a soul in my life. I am having some issues with myself. It seems that now that I have lost all this weight, I find myself wondering if other women would find me attractive now. Now I have to say here that I adore my partner, and I honestly would never do anything to harm this relationship because it is awesome and it's where I want to be, but I fantasize about sneaking away somewhere for a night to a lesbian bar somewhere just to see if anyone would approach me. I feel pretty crappy about thinking this stuff, but I am being honest here and I really do wonder. WLS sure can play tricks on your head sometimes, and obviously this is my time. Do you think that I am being an ego maniac here? Am I horrible? I just don't understand myself much with this, but I can't shake the feeling of wondering. I was stuck in my fat suit my whole life, and although I had my share of relationships, I never really felt attractive ever before. Now I just need to know if I am someone that would make someone look twice. Please don't think I am a vain rediculous woman... I am being honest here and I don't know what to do with these feelings. I feel guity wondering and I want to know what you would do (or do do...lol) with these feelings. I am not looking for compliments, just for some advice. Hugs to all, Amy

Amy, I just went and read through/scanned your profile and my hat is off to you. I don't think you are being a ego maniac, vain, rediculous, or horrible. All your life, like myself, you had been obese and didn't feel attractive and now you do. It is quite a change to feel something like that, I imagine. You went through so much to be who you are today and I think that it is normal to feel and think like you are. Matter of fact where I am standing, if I were your partner I would TAKE you to the bar or whatever and see what happens. I would love to see my partner get the attention that she was deprived of for so long. It would be a turn on to see the women falling over her and knowing that she is mine and going home with me. Make them all jelous. I know that my partner would do that for me if and when I reach where you are. You sound to have a strong relationship and I think your partner would understand. I think it is GREAT!!!! Flant your new sexiness!! Again, my hat is off to you and my heart knows what you are feeling. By the way, just off the record and I am not flirting here ... ok... maybe a little hehehehe... I think you looked good before the weight loss and now you look beautiful and happy. THAT is wonderful! Take care, be safe and smile at people! Peace, Connie

Connie, Thanks for the support, comments and the flirtation...lol I still can't say that I feel sexy, but perhaps more attrative. I can't imagine that my partner would go for the whole take me to a bar and flaunt me thing so for now I will just have to grin and bear it. Thanks again for the compliments. It's people like you that keep me sain. Best, Amy

Amy, I admit that I am having the exact same thoughts and I'm only 4 months out and half way there. But I, too, have wondered about going out to one the bars and seeing if anyone would look at me. I feel guilty too about it. But I told Rose that I wondered if someone would look at me (didn't say I wanted to go out, though). And I did feel better after I mentioned it. She was pretty ok with it, considering. (I also told her that I think it would be sexy if someone did hit on me and I told them I was with her ) Maybe you should just put it on the table. Might make you feel better. Jen P.S. Wouldn't it be great if we could go out as a group to guage reactions? I know I'd feel "safe" and not like I was cheating.

Jen, It's nice to know that I am not the only one with these thoughts. I guess that it is just part of the process. I actually have said some of this stuff to Linda, but frankly I always feel a little odd about it. We talk about everything, but this is one of those things that makes me feel kind of shallow when the words come out. They sound pretty stupid to even me. As for Linda, she has never had a weight issue, so I really don't think that she understands this one even if she does try. It's kind of strange to be in this new body of mine. After almost 2 years you would think that I would be getting used to it by now. I like your idea about getting together to guage reactions. Too bad you live so dang far away! Take Care, Amy

Amy, I have to agree, you have done an awsome job and you look great. Like one of the above posters mentioned, if I were your partner, I would take you out and watch as the women flocked to you. That would make me proud because I know who your going home with. Now thats a gay male viewpoint, but have you talked to your partner about it? I know that would be a very hard subject to bring up because you dont want her to start feeling insecure, but maybe an open honest approach would work, let her know that you just want to see if you get looks.. Either way, you look excellent!! Keep up the good work! Robert

Hi Robert, Thanks so much for the compliments. It helps a lot! I am not so sure that women would flock to me, but the thought of it all sure does make me smile! I have tried talking to Linda about all of this, but I don't think she gets it. Also since I moved from Florida to be with her, and most everyone here knows or knows of Linda, the idea wouldn't even fly here. I have talked about it a bit with her, especially when last week I couldn't help but notice that I did get checked out (woooo hoooooooo) by a woman who frankly was my type. Linda didn't notice (she gets wrapped up in other things) but I did. When I told her about it, she told me to enjoy it, but not to encourage it. That was the end of that... She just isn't the jealous kind....grrrr.... If I didn't love her so much I would give her thirty lashes with a wet noodle. Anyway, thanks again, and keep up the good work... I am watching! Best, Amy

Amy, I have to agree, you have done an awsome job and you look great. Like one of the above posters mentioned, if I were your partner, I would take you out and watch as the women flocked to you. That would make me proud because I know who your going home with. Now thats a gay male viewpoint, but have you talked to your partner about it? I know that would be a very hard subject to bring up because you dont want her to start feeling insecure, but maybe an open honest approach would work, let her know that you just want to see if you get looks.. Either way, you look excellent!! Keep up the good work! Robert

Amy, I think that you are being very rationale. I can imagine that several people after having this surgery and loosing weight want to know if they are attractive to other people. I do not think you are an ego maniac. I think you are human. Melissa

Amy- You have taken the words right out of my mouth..... I have a very loving and supportive partner as well. I would never do anything to jeopardize the relationship and the life that we have built. But like you, I've been wondering if someone else would find me attractive and desireable. I've been stuck in this fat suit for so long, I never really lived, you know what I mean? At first, I had a hard time believing April was attracted to me. I kept wondering how someone could find 350 pounds sexy. I'm not seeking a fling or a new relationship....I think I'm just seeking validation. After feeling ugly for so long it's nice when someone finds you attractive. I think (or at least I hope) it is probably a normal feeling to have after all that we have been through. ((HUGS)) Jaimee