Ok, now I have done something really stupid!

I have just done something really stupid. In an effort to "educate" myself, I read the memorial page. What a mistake that was! I have been feeling anxious about the surgery lately, and now I am even more frightened. Why did I do something so stupid???? Wish I could take it back. I mean, I certainly don't have my head in the sand about the dangers of the surgery, but seeing the faces and reading the stories really brings it home. I am so scared. I know it is not to late to change my mind, but what kind of life will I have if I don't have the surgery. I need to journal on that. Thanks for letting me get these feelings out. Rosa

Hi rosa I too did the same thing a while back,But alot of the ppl did not die because of the surgery well take care

Hi Jeanette, Thanks for your response. You are right, a lot of people died of things other than WLS related. Thanks for reminding me of that! Rosa

"too" late that is. God I hate when I do that!!!

Hi Rosa thank you for your response to my post about my lovely Dad.. I will miss him very very much. And, I don't think you did the wrong thing in reading the memorials page - there is a risk in any kind of surgery and those of us who are very very overweight are at even greater risk - but - what are the options? I bet you've tried every thing from starvation dieting to gyms and back again. You've done the research, you know the risks, you'll do everything you can to get in the best possible shape before surgery And your friends on this board will be waiting for you when you come back. Charlotte

Thanks Charlotte. You are absolutely right. How are you feeling sweetie? I hope you are doing ok. Rosa

Hi Rosa Thanks for asking. I'm ok but I get sad at the strangest times - walking through the menswear department of a big store yesterday and nearly bursting into tears as I passed the underwear section! We used to tease Dad by buying him silly undies - he liked the good old fashioned white Y fronts but we got him into sezy cotton boxers in the last few years! I can't stop thinking about him - and while it leaves me a bit low energy on the workfront I reckon my Dad is worth the grieving. And how are you going with your decision about WLS?? love Charlotte

Rosa, I didn't find the memorial page until after my surgery and I'm glad I did not. It is a very tough decision without looking at the 1% who have horrific complications. It is easy for me to say on this side of it, "I'd do it again in a heartbeat." As I'm sure you know you need to be comfortable with the decision. I truly believe you'll come to the right decision for you as long as you do the research, weigh the options and pray about it. Chip

Hi Chip. I am feeling a little better today. Got some great responses that have helped me get back on track. I have been praying a lot about the surgery, and I have also been praying for those "heros" who have gone before us. I always remember my friends here and those who are about to embark on this journey in my prayers also. Thanks for your response. Big Hugs, Rosa

Hi Rosa- I went routing around on other pages myself about a month or two after surgery. What I found was the "failed" WLS page. That was a mistake for me. I stopped eating for nearly two weeks out of fear of getting back into a size 26. It had such a horrible impact on me. My GF was there to stick my head back on straight (ha!) and get me going all over again. You just have to remember that this is all up to you, everything is in your hands. I was terribly scared--cried the whole way into the hospital, when my GF and I had to part ways, into surgery, and even while I was going under anesthesia...but I don't regret this AT ALL. June 28, 2005 was the last time I put on a pair of size 26 pants. This morning I got dressed in my size L "perfect fit" shirt and size 10 jeans and just smiled. I am so blessed and lucky. I am lucky that I had this opportunity--and you will find that you are lucky too. People are right that most who have passed did not succumb to WLS, but other problems. Pay attention to you, to the rules, and to your doctor. There is so much out there waiting for you---a ride on a rollercoaster, getting your hair done a new way to go with the new you, shopping in a regular store--and knowing full well that the 'skinny' girls aren't thinking 'why is SHE in here', and lastly (what was so important to me) my kids can hug me--FULLY, and they know it! Good luck! -Cheri PS--I have said several times on this board that I am an EMT--not only do I bring people to the hospital, but I also bring them home. Last week, I brought a woman home who weighed 690 lbs. She was one month out from surgery and had lost 40 lbs, just sitting down. She just wanted more time with her family and she can't wait to be even 300 lbs. All of her positivity gave me a good umph! for the day... She didn't regret her decision either, and she was at a higher risk for problems than I ever was.