Bah Humbug

Well, what was an almost pleasant evening has turned into a lousy one and I am soon off to bed with tough decisions, a major tummy ache, and a pretty bad mood coming with me. My partner and I came home for the holidays. Although we live out of state, we are from twenty minutes away at "home". Well, there were no family plans with his family for the holiday due to the fact that they celebrate the Ukraine holiday in a month or so. Traditionally Christmas eve is at my god mothers....we went, ate, had a pleasant time, then came back to my parent's house. At my parents we opened gifts with my brother's family. They then left for mass. Well, Ken decided to get going and asked what time I would be at his mother's tomorrow. I said I didn't know since I was doing dinner with my parents at the same time they were eating at his. He started yelling.. Tonight was with your family. Tomorrow it is with mine..blah blah blah. I told him that if I was supposed to be over his for dinner..then he should have said something about it earlier. HE ranted and raved some more. Told me that in the future he will make all plans. I told him to get over it..becasue when I aske him about plans etc...he has no clue or interest. Now, I have to decide if I go to his mother's house (love her...) just so I don't have to deal with the crap and leave my parents...or stay at my parents...and deal with his crap. Of course, my mom says to go over to his family's..and we will do it all in the evening...but I am just so ticked off. What a way to go to bed on Christmas eve...

Daniel, Hone I am so sorry that you are going through this on Christmas EVE. I use to have somewhat the same problem, but I think that we have fixed it. We stay here in Blacksburg for Thanksgiving, and then go to Lisa's parents house on Christmas. Well, this year I wanted to do something a little different. Instead of going to my mom's house for Thanksgiving, I wanted to do something at home with just the three of us (me, g/f and daughter). So, I had to call my mom and tell her that we were not coming over. She was upset because we always go to her house. I explained that I just really wanted to stay home. She jumped on the defensive side and said that it was Lisa's fault. I guess trying to guilt us into coming. It did not work we stayed at home. It was really nice. SO, today (being Christmas) we are going to be leaving and going to Tenn. I spoke with my mom and she asked if we were coming to her house since we didn't come over for Thanksgiving. I told her no, we were going to Tenn. Boy did that get something started. So, I have to decide before Lisa gets up today what I am going to do. I hope things go well with you and your partner. Wish me luck as well. Melissa

Daniel, This is such a common problem with couples (straight and gay). We usually spend Thanksgiving with my family (they live 3.5 hours away) and Christmas with Heath's (10 minutes away) but this year his brother decided to come home the week before Xmas so we went to my family Christmas eve and then got up watched my niece and nephew open a billion presents and then drove back getting here at 12:30 and unloading our dogs and "stuff" reloading his mom's gifts and driving over to her house. I cooked dinner there, we ate, spent time with her and got home at 6:00 PM Christmas night. We opened our gifts and went to bed. It was exhausting and we both said we're going back to Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his. We want to be at our house for Christmas so his family can come here. I hope you and Ken ironed everything out and had a great holiday. Chip