10 days post-op- partner fears?

Hey all, My partner and I have been together for about 4 years now- she is a petite thing who has always told me that she loves my big body etc.....my having this surgery has made her very clear that she may not find me as attractive as a thin person.....she'll ask me if I would be as attracted to her if she gained 100 lbs-----it's stupid talk probably- she has conceded that maybe she doesn't love big women- but simply loves me. What have been some of your partner's fears/concerns regarding the expected weight loss the surgery brings? Besides that- I am doing well. Was back to work a week after surgery (don't tell my dr.!) and just trying to get my protein in- fluids are going fine and I'm trying to make the blended diet as varied as I can. Had mashed potatoes and some squash for supper- I was happy!

Hi Karen, My name is Cyndi and my partner had surgery 9 days ago. She has always been big and I personally liked bigger women. The thing I found out was it isn't healthy and over the years noticed how hard some things were for her and how self concious she was of herself. I love her and seeing that made me sad. I have scary feelings not so much about the weight loss but of the person Lyn might become. I understand your partners feelings and I think most of what she is saying is because she is insecure of the person you will become. I bet if you give her some time she will see that you are still the same inside except for maybe some more confidence and look fantastic on the outside. It's all new for me too but this is just what I am thinking this is all about. Congratulations on your new journey. Cyndi~Lyn's partner

My partner has always made it clear that she loves big gals. She says small women don't have enough fluff. Her and I have talked about me having surgery. She says she loves me and my size won't matter. It is a matter of my health and wanting me to be here in the future. I do understand where you are coming from as far as partner concerns. I am sure that this weight procedure is going to give me more time. It will be an adjustment for both of us, but it will all be ok.

Hey Karen, I am 3 months post-op and have lost 75 pounds. When my partner and I first met 11 years ago, she was the size I am today and I was the size she is today. At the time I decided to have surgery, she and I were the same size--over 300 pounds. This has been the biggest stressor on our relationship. Rose is frightened that I won't love her once I'm smaller than she is. Hello, I am now. And I love her just as much as I did 75 pounds ago. She's afraid I'll find someone else. But who the heck would ever put up with me--and love me so undconditionally--fat or thin? She's afraid I will want to sow my wild oats. Well, it has crossed my mind about walking into a gay bar and see if I turn any heads. And I do like it when some of my gal pals tell me I'm hot. But who wouldn't? I recently had to tell Rose that her nagative talk really made me feel bad--becuase it was like she didn't give me enough credit for loving her. I think she's starting to get it. I also think one of the hardest things for her was the day that I came downstairs in the (now ugly) dress I was wearing when we first met. It was way too big for me and practically falling off my shoulders. She had this pained look in her eyes like I was giving up on her--not just on the dress. Most importantly, I found that you have to really, really, really keep the lines of communication open. She's quick to share her insecurities, but I'm learning to share mine. Like maybe she won't like me once I'm all hangy, baggy, wrinkly skin. Maybe she'd rather have a big, beautiful woman. And I'm pretty honest with her that somedays I DON'T like myself. She needs to know it's not all rainbows and sunshine for me. I'm glad you're doing so well! And this early post-op is the very best time start htinking about your relationship and address head-on any of these insecurities that pop up. Good luck to BOTH of you! Jen

I dare say that four years is long enough to say y'all really love each other. Love has a special way of making us see things in each other we never saw before. Though your weight may drop I would venture to guess her love for you will increase. Attraction based on looks is short lived through the lust stage. Though how someone looks is still important, I think that we fall in love with the individual which supercedes "types and preferences". I wouldn't worry, I think your partner will discover she has a new fetish in one particular skinny lady!