Thanks!

Hi, Thanks for the warm welcome! I'll tell you a little about me... I am 30 years old, I had my Lap RNY on 8/31/05. I've lost 53.5 pounds since surgery, I lost weight before surgery as well so I'm down a total of 95.5 pounds. My partners name is April, we've been together for 5+ years. We live in South Bend, IN (Notre Dame area), April has a 10 year old daughter named Samantha. We are both openly gay; I dont shout it from the rooftop but most people know. I've been heavy my entire life, but once I fell in love and quit smoking I gained another 100 pounds (April gained 50). My all time high was 365. I had been wanting to have RNY surgery for years. I went through an insurance battle and then my employer switched carriers (thank God!). April was interested in having the surgery too but after seeing what I went through she changed her mind. She has actually lost quite a bit of weight since my surgery and wouldn't qualify anymore. Our life and lifestyle has changed so much since surgery. My recovery from the surgery was really, really rough for all of us. But I am so much happier now, we all are. I've learned how much my unhappiness affected April and Samantha. There really isn't a very big gay community in Northern Indiana. I mean, there's bars but that is about it. We would like to move to a more friendly city but it's hard when their are children involved. We'll thats my story! Jaimee

Hi Jaimee, I went to school at Valparaiso University, so I know what you mean about northern Indiana being a wasteland when it comes to the GLBT community. We used to road tip over ot a bar in South Bend. Can't remember the name of it. But I do remember the woman named Bubba who hit on me a few times! I'd be interested in hearing more about April's approach to weightloss. My partner Rose is also overweight and has opted not to do surgery. She's lost about 30 pounds since June, so she's pretty excited about that. (Me, too, because she's so happy!) Congrats on your great success! Jen

Hey Jaimee! Welcome! I'm pretty new here too. I found this board about 3 weeks ago or so, but so far everyone has been great. I think we (gay folk) have a different experience than those who are not and its nice to be able to communicate with those who understand. I can relate about the lack of gay community as well. I grew up in North Dakota where there are no gay people (unless you're in Fargo) at all. I'm not all that involved with the gay community here either so OH.com has been a good way for me to connect with some supportive people who I think understand all aspects of what I'll be going through. I'm curious to know how the surgery was rough on your family. My partner, Nick, and I have been together almost 2 years and have no kids. I have a pretty good indication on how things will weather between us knowing how Nick already reacts to me and my moods already, but I am trying to be prepared for anything. You can always e-mail me at [email protected] as well. Welcome!

Hi Jamiee, I would also like to hear more about the complications you had following surgery. I don't have a scheduled date yet, but have had my first appt. w/ Dr. Wynn. I need to hear the difficult as well as the good. Thanks and welcome to a wonderful site! Best wishes to you. Rosa

Hi Guys! As far as my complications, 2 weeks post op I started throwing up, non-stop, for hours on end. It lasted almost 6 weeks. I was hospitalized a few times because of it and went through a ton of medical tests. In the end they couldn't find anything physically wrong me, they determined that I was having an extreme sensitivity to food. I could not handle ANY dairy (no milk, eggs, cheese yogart), no whey protein, no tuna/chicken/fish, etc. I basically couldn't eat anything and had to go back on the bariatric products. I was slowly transitioned back to soft food and then had to introduce one new food item every day. It was really hard on my family because I was so sick and miserable. I was very depressed; I cried all the time and wasn't the most pleasant person to be around. April hung in there like a trooper but it was very difficult for her because there was nothing she could do to make me feel better. Samantha is only 10, she was really scared because she didn't understand what was happening. Like I said, April originally wanted the surgery but my experience changed her mind. She basically lost weight without even trying. She was so worried when I was sick that she wasn't really eating much. And we stopped buying all junk food and convenience food. We started making a nice dinner every night and started taking family walks. It was rough in the beginning but we've actually grown closer as a family. I think a little scare like I had makes you appreciate things more. Jaimee

Wow Jaimee, that sounds so damn scary what you went thru. I am so scared about something like that happening to me. I have problems healing well because of my diabetes, and it is frightening to think of what may happen. Even though I am scared, I know I have to do it. I feel this is the only way I will ever be healthy. I have spent so many years of my life trying to loose weight and always have failed. It has been very emotionally painful, and now physically painful. I am no longer 20 years old. I have the body of a 44 y.o. woman and it can no longer tolerate this weight. I am in pain 24/7, and spend most of my time trying to catch my breath. I am so blessed in my life. Other than the weight, life is pretty wonderful for me. The weight, however, encompasses every thing I do. I want to be free! I want to be able to go to a store and not have to find a cart to ride. I want to go to festivals and trips, and walk my dog. I want to not be afraid that my knees will give out and I will fall and not be able to get up. I want my life back and damn it I am going to get it back! The fact that you went through such a difficult time and survived it gives me hope. Thank you so much for sharing your experience w/ us. You and your family are in my prayers. Rosa

Jamiee Congratulations on your wt loss! Way to g - to you and your partner!

Thank you, Jaimee, for sharing a bit about yourself. You're dropping weight like crazy!! It's wondeful that your partner is able to lose weight right there with you. I think that tends to happen once one of the partners isn't eating the junk; the other tends to lean toward a bit of a healthier diet... Congratulations on kicking the cigarette habit! That is monumental, Jaimee!! Now you've had your surgery, and you're on your way to the healthiest you possible!!! Yippee!!! If at some point you decide you want to move to a gay friendly area, I'd say go for Toronto, Canada!! That's actually where my partner and I will be moving next year. It's a big move, but one well worth making. It's legal in all Canadian providences to get married, and domestic partner benefits are real there, not just BS like in some states here. It's metropolitan, multicultural, accepting, and wonderful!!! We've met many lesbian and gay people on our trips there, and are so looking forward to living in a place where there aren't people in office trying to take our rights away! Just a thought... Take care, and again, welcome and thank you for joining us here! Jessica