Self Sabotage

Hi, I need some support. I have done well in my pre-op weight loss....I have lost 72#, and I feel good about that . Even with all the good things I have done for my health, I fell into a binge the last couple of days, and I am afraid if I do not get a handle on it, I am going to gain weight before surgery or I will jack up my blood sugar and not be qualified to have surgery! Either case scenerio, I am further away from where and who I want to be today than I was three days ago. I have today alone I had two donuts, a burger and an ice cream cone. Yesterday I had two ice cream cones. Sure I have fit them into my "calorie" count but they are so the wrong choices for what I need to be doing. If I have learned nothing from my slip into diet abyss...is that I have made the right choice in pursuing wls, and continuing to pursue it after successful weight loss. Even though I learned something, I need support from my family and friends...I do not want this to turn into a lost weekend! I am so frustrated and I just feel like I am on a spiral out of control. There it is. Help. RRR, Maureen

Maureen.... you have picked up so many of us when we have been down...now it is our turn to help you... First and foremost, we all slip up and screw up. Most post-ops (2 years old) will tell you that they start to gain weight back...and suddenly have to take "back their control". Eating is one of the future natural things that we must do...and sometimes we simply eat the wrong things. I know for myself that I am terrified or restuarants and dinning out because although portion control isn't the issue...choices and content are the food issues. With the market so filled with fat free and sugar free items (cookies, ice cream, candy, etc, etc...) our food opportunities are wide open... I have, however made a conscience choice not to eat those things. I love cookbooks.. I love recipes and I hav read thousands of sf desserts and treats.. However, they are not on my "meal plan". Could I eat a cookie? Definitely! I could replace one cookie for something good in my diet to keep within my calorie/sugar/protien/ect. count. But, could I eat one cookie??? Probably not. If I could eat only one...I probably wouldn't have had to have surgery. Maureen, I am a very lonely person... I am always seeing the bad and not the good...but there is one good that I know for sure... YOU ARE AN INCREDIBLE PERSON WITH AN INCREDIBLE HEART AND SOUL. YOU ARE HERE FOR OTHERS...YOU LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY!!!! DON'T SABATOGE YOURSELF!!!!! THE WORLD IS READY TO WATCH YOU FALL AND KICK YOU WHILE YOU ARE DOWN...LET US BE THE WORLD THAT PICKS YOU UP...AND SUPPORTS YOU SO YOU DON'T FALL... Now throw away the ice cream, say good-bye to the donuts...and get back to being the person you want to be!!!!!!!! Love, hugs, and supports!!!!!!!!!!

You are going to be fine, I believe in you for a person to lose 72 pounds on their own is a great accomplishment. And remember no one perfect. You will be okay. I am going to send that a fairy to help you with the bad cravings.

You've got mail!

Hi Maureen, Hope this post finds you in better spirits.. I'm in awe of you losing 72 lbs prior to surgery!! Your in a better spot than most of us, certainly me. Remember where you've come and yet hope to be... We're here with you through the journey! Hugs Jo

Maureen- Hang tight....."this too shall pass..." The only weight I lost before surgery was because of the bowel prep---eeeeeew. You are amazing for having lost so much prior to surgery. You will succeed at this!!!!! We all have set backs--how you react to that setback is the deciding factor. You did the right thing by "confessing your sins" heehee....now go from here and do what you need to do to take of you!!! Take care! -Cheri

You're okay, sweetheart. That food addict in you is fully aware that the days of eating this way are coming to an end, and she is in absolutely going to get as much food as she can before surgery: unless you stop her. That addict of yours, she's a sneaky one. The past 72 pounds, she's been lying in wait until you had one weak moment then---BAM! She took over. I've been there, honey, and it feels like hell. So what do you do? You do exactly what you did: you reach out for help. We both know you don't want those foods; they will send you spiraling out of control and disrupts everything you've succeded in doing as you amazingly lost that 72 pounds. We both know you don't need those foods: they bring you nothing but pain, regret, and sadness. Logically you know these things; but that addict of yours isn't working from logic---she's working from fear. Fear of upcoming surgery; fear of not being able to eat many of the foods you've come to love over the years; and fear of the unknown. Fear is one of those emotions that logic sometimes cannot extinguish. Don't let her take you over again. All of us have slip-ups. The difference between a slip-up and a full fledge relapse, is the legnth of time it goes on. The longer your addict is in control, the more chance it has of remaining in control. So, take your life back. Not tomorrow; not after lunch: do it now, Maureen. Tell that addict: "NO MORE. I'm not doing this for one more second. I'm having my surgery, and there is nothing you (addict) can do to stop me. I know it's you (addict)--and you will not sabotage my efforts. I will not allow you to keep me from reaching my goals." I believe in you. You couldn't have lost 72 pounds already if you were'nt strong, focused, and ready for this change of life. We are all here to support you. If you have to sit at your computer all day to keep from eating: do it!! If you have to journal til your hands fall off: do it!! If you have to call every person you love and talk til you can't talk another second: do it! You have come too far to allow that addict of yours to rob you of your chance to lose this weight, and live your life fully. Sending you love and support, Jessica

Hey Maureen, Don't really know what to say. You are much further in your journey than I. "Binging" or compulsive overeating is something I struggle with on a daily basis. Looks like you have great support here. Hang in there! Rosa

((((((Maureen)))))) I don't think I can possibly improve on what Jessica wrote. I do want to say that I have gone back into therapy to deal with these food issues because I know that there is something driving me to sabotage myself everytime. I just picked up a book today at Border's that looks like it has some interesting things to think about regarding women and abuse and food issues. The title is "Losing Your Pounds of Pain"...Breaking the Link Between Abuse, Stress and Overeating. It is by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D. Maybe it can help. I wish you only the best and I think you are AMAZING to lose 72 lbs on your own. and Carol

All my Wonderful Friends, Thank you soooooo much for your love, support, hugs, Rah, Rah Rah's, and kicks in the ass!!!! I am taking everything to heart, and am praying I can get myself into right thinking. I am also hoping that when work ramps down, then I'll be able to plan better, and have food here at home rather than in a bag through a window. More importantly I know that I have friends that will help when I can't do it on my own. I am very blessed and you are all superstars in my book!!!!! xoxo RRR, Maureen