Help

I don't know where to turn. Eric, my partner just walked out on me. He said that the last few weeks with me I have been *****ing everyday. I don't think that I have, but then again my life has changed so much. I don't know what to do. Have I turned into a raving lunatic? I can't turn to food, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I workout a lot and eat very little. I take my vitamins, I get my protien. Today was the first day of school and I was so happy today. I sent him an email telling him that I loved him and then this blowout has me floored. I am really lost at the moment. My life just seems as if it has crumbled around me. I wish I was back to the old me.

Oh David, I'm so sorry this has happened. From what I know of you from this board, you don't strike me as a *****y sort of person at all. On the contrary you seem to me to be a very kind soul. Is Eric freaked perhaps by your increasingly good look ? From what I've read the "other half" of the WLS person often feels insecure by their partners changes. We are a weird species and evolved as we are we still are so insecure. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Thank you so much for being there. I need to let everyone know that Eric did come back and it was alot more then me being "*****y". I have a short fuse when it comes to "stupid people". I let people that drive slow bother me, people that turn without using their blinkers really bother me...and so on... Eric LOVES me or, he loves ME. I will be talking to my PCP about some medication to calm down, and/or, someone to talk to. WLS is big. Thanks again for being there. David

Hi Dave, I've heard that couples need to get into a group or something. I'm to have my surgery Monday, my partner is driving me nuts.I feel some times she is pushing me out. She says she's glad I'm doing this, then she does stuff like she thinks I'll be looking for young stuff out there.???? Then she get's mad at me. I think she's going through more changes then I. I would just like to get both socks on with out trouble. Or tie my shoes and not feel like it was a work out. I feel a it's a thing you have to do for your self. In reality we go it alone. Maybe that's a factor in this. No matter how much you share, you still go it alone. I don't know as it's all you. Sure, your going to change some. Mostly I would think you'll feel better about you. Hang in there. Things will settle down. Don't lose sight of the prize.

Hello Marge, it is tough for us and them. To sit there at dinner and watch him eat and me to be done and ready to go do something else has caused some friction. So many things are different, but if I had to do it all again I would. I have more energy and want to go for a bike ride, go to the gym, do yard work , clean the house all that. Eric goes to school full time and works for one of the biggest wine makers in the world, and this is crush time and he works lots of overtime. He is tired and I want to do things. It will work its way out. He came home and we shut ourselves in and we have talked. When he gets home today we are going out for dinner and talk some more. Best of everything for you tomorrow. I pray all goes well and that you and your partner make it with this big journey you BOTH have ahead of you. David

Hi David, Sorry to hear about your partner. He walked out because you've been a little *****y lately? I'm thinking it's him, not you thats the problem. Even so, I agree with the other two, if he's up to counseling, go for it, otherwise, I konw it's hard to hear now, but if he doesn't want to work it out, cut your loses, pour your energy into your kidz and before you know it you will find the one thats more right for you.

Joell, thanks so much for taking the time to reply to my post. Eric did come back and we are talking. As you said most of it is him. He is stressed from work and school. I am going to look into counseling. I am so hyper that maybe I am afraid to look at what is really going on. School starts back up tomorrow and again, as you said, I am poring my energy into the kidz. Thanks again. BTW you look great. Your pics on your profile are the best, way to go. David

I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. Hang in there the best you can and focus on what makes you happy right now--school and all that this entails. Don't doubt your decisions and the progress that you've made. You're worth evry part of it. It's too bad tht Eric doesn't realize this right now. But maybe he needs just a little distance--for the time being--to really appreciate the wonderful person you are. Jen

Thanks Jen. I am hangin in there. Eric and I are talking about what makes us both crazy about each other. We miss the early days of the relationship. When we didn't have the house, the dogs, the cars, the BILLS. I think all that and the weight loss has caused lots of bitterness. We are willing to work it out. I am so happy that I am on the losers side. I feel great and would do it again in a heart beat. Thanks again Jen David

Hey David I am so sorry! I can offer you a friend to talk to, me! I am only over in Tracy so if you want to chat email me! Denise