My partner's newphew- LONG ONE

Well let me give you some backround on this situation. Well he is a spoiLed child. He is the only child and the only grandchild. So he is used to getting what he wants. So when he comes and visit I treat him the same way I treat my kids if I say no soda get some juice that is what I mean. He will say to my parnter, tt can I talk to you in private, then she say yeah then he ask her for a soda and since she doesn't know what I told him she will give it to him then fireworks will start. He has actually lied on me on several ocassions to his mother, by the way she is crazy she has a very short temper. Well I told my partner from now on when he is visiting she needs to be here so that he doesn't lie on me about something. Well my partner works on sundays so I told her ok you have to get up earlier so that you can take him home before you go to work. So this went on for a while where he can't come over unless she is here. Well one day he calls, while my partner is at work and says Sherry my tt says that you don't want me over your house. So I told him no she didn't tell you that, so I told him that i was going to call him at work, well I tried to click over to call her, he wouldn't hang up the phone so i COULDN'T get a dial tone. Then finally i did. So I called her and told her she needed to take care of this. Okay. So everytime he came over I just go in a corner because I am alway walking around wonder what lie he is going to tell next. Okay as he got older it got better so I started to let my guard down. Well he stayed at our house about 3 days. I went to our lawn mower guy to pick up our lawn mower the car stopped on me . Starter went out. So I called home to leave a message for my girl to come pick me up. Guess who answered the phone the newphew. This was at 4:10pm, AND 96 DEGREES OUTSIDE. I told him to tell her when she gets home to come and pick me up. she get off work at 4:00 so I knew it wouldn't be that long. I sat in the car over 2 hours. Do you know that little mf didn't give her the message. I left my cellphone at home by mistake. I finally called home my girl was watching tv she didn't know to come pick me up. She thought i was working overtime. When she got there it was after 6 pm . I was crying, hot and thristy. He took the message and then left didn't tell anyone that I was standed. Now he is over here today. And I am in a funk . I asked her to take him home she said he doesn't want to go home. I want to tell her , you need to leave with him. Because she can see my demeanor and don't care. I am trying to be a aunt to him but I can't he just makes me sick. He is 14 now we were getting along until the car incident.But I just can't take it. Am I crazy or do I have a right to feel this way.

Oh girl he seems so disrespectful !! have you told your girl straight out about all this? if not you need to ! someone has got to talk to him and lety him know he WILL follow both of your rules while visiting and that he Will show you respect !! or he cant come over untill he does ! best of luck with this situation take care ~* jeanette*~

Sherry, let me tell you I love this room. Where else can we go and get this stuff off our chest? I feel for you, I really do. Sitting in the hot sun is not fun. It seems as if you have tried to do everyrhing to make it work, but this guy loves to cause problems. I am not good at this kind od advice, but I can say it is good to get this out. I hope your girl can see your side, and maybe you two can take another break from him coming over. BTW, are you working on an appeal? Let us know whats happening there. David

Yes I am working on my internal appeal with my employer I have also contacted an attorney.

Hi Sherry. Geez Louise...what a bad day you had ! Stuck waiting for two hours ! Sounds like all came to a head the day of the car breaking down. The kid sounds pretty disrespectful of others and it appears NOBODY has taught him otherwise. You're trying of course but it's not going to work unless you and your partner set clear behavior standards together then don't derail from them. You certainly can't change his behavior everywhere but you sure as hell can modify his behavior in your own home. He'll eventually enjoy being with you folks because he'll come to realise you care enough to bother. Easy ? No. Worth it ? Probably. Kid's gotta learn from somebody and it sounds you two are the only adults who care enough. Good luck Sherry. Teenagers are difficult by design I think PS; I left a message with a friends very respectful polite teen once. He wrote it down carefully put it down and never gave to his mom. She found it the next day on the floor of his room ! Sometimes they're just like that