body image trouble..bi/les ladies plz help

hi everyone ,I'm bi-sexual, I need some help with some issues, I have never been comfortable with my body , I am sure that the only reason that I have never attempted to be in a relationship with another woman is because of my body , I've always felt that since two women making love is so intimate that I would just gross another woman out , it's like I think that they have higher expectations because they know what women are "suppoused " to look like , and would compare me to themselves and others. I've always noticed that there are tons of bi/les couples out there who are big , alot bigger than me , and they seem completely comfortable with eachother. I've only kissed another woman , no more , and i'm so afraid of getting intimate with another female , I WANT TO.. belive me , i'm just so afraid of being EXTRA scrutinized , you know?, is there anyway to get around these issues of thinking that other women are going to be completely grossed out by me? I'm just looking for any other stories or input on female body image problems in same sex -relationships... thanks so much xoxoxo sara

Good morning Sara! It's been my experience that women are way less critical regarding other women's bodies than men are. With that said, there will always be SOMEONE (male and female) that is obsessed with wanting 'the perfect shaped female'........but if that is their thing, do you really want to be with them anyway? Just like with any other relationship, I would recommend that you start out looking to be 'friends' with other women and let nature take it's course! When you are comfortable around someone as a friend, you will definately be more comfortable as a lover. Good luck to you! Kim

you are so right , thank you !!! x0x0x0xsara

The beautiful thing about being in love with another female is that "we" overlook flaws of our lovers (but sometimes not our own) and therefore, sex isn't about "image" it's about being with someone you are in love with, comfortable with and can find support thru your self-image problems... My gf loved me at my highest (367) and still loves me as I lose more... Granted she's becoming more jealous and territorial but that's just a part of relationship... about your question.. find a FRIEND first, build a friendly comfortable relationship, and then, see where it goes. Once you are "there" you immediately forget about YOU and your "flaws" and just go with it... does that make sense? I hope so... just get out there, become available, and build a relationship on friendship first until you're ready to move on Beth

thank you doll!! I was hoping you'd put your two cents in , I always see your replies and they make alot of sense !! I know that when your in love things change , it's just I overanalyze everything , you know ?? i'm a worry wart. BTW you look great congrats on your suppourtive relationship, um you should totally be my buddy cuz we're alot alike . thanks again x0x0x0 sara

I understand. There are some women I would like to have gotten to know better but they intimidated me cause they were "perfect". I always dated women who were around my size. Not so much based on looks but I thought they'd be more accepting. Now I know that everyone has their own insecurities and am persuing the cutest girl ever Kel

It helps to have someone who understands , thanks, good luck with your girlie!! xoxox sara

Women are not going to extra scrutinize you. Women don't seem all that hung up on weight issues in their lovers. I will say we are way more scutinizing and critical of ourselves though. I say go for it ! You'll probably feel self concious but it's WAY WAY WAY better to feel that AND enjoy making love than to not. Hope you have a great time. Of course you know you're required to report back with the whole unedited event !!!! Cheers !

thank you dear I surely will , lol .well maybe SOME editing hahah x0x0x sara

Hey Sara, I think all of us with weight issues have body image issues; or at least we did at one point in time or another. The bottom line is, when you meet someone you can be yourself with, the body image thing just floats away. I have always had a self-loathing and such a difficult time accepting this body of mine. It wasn't until I met my wife, that I learned that "it's just a body!" There is a real person inside this body; one worthy of love, affection, and acceptance. Trust that one day, when you meet someone that you feel comfortable enough to truly talk to--if the time comes that you wish to share your most intimate selves, she'll help you see that your body is beautiful, and treat you well. Women are different than men. The majority of us look within you, not just "at" you. Granted, we certainly have a fair amount of women who are body obsessed; but, most women are looking for a relationship built on trust, honesty, laughter, and communication. Those women aren't going to be scrutinizing your body... Those are the women you want! Take care, Jessica