Hi family - I am depressed .

My parnter and I have been together this year oct will be 9 years. We are basic home body we rarly go out to bars or clubs. We went to a club maybe 4 years ago and that is the last time. Well my girl is a stud, she has no stud friends but 1 and she rarly every sees her. Well at work this weeks she came across anther stud, they started talking, well the stud from work lives in atlanta which we will be relocating there next year. My girl asked me the other day did If i want to go to that club with her and some of her coworkers. I told her no I didn't wanted to go. But I told her that it was okay that she went. I really wanted her to get out and enjoy herself. My weight has been really depressing me lately, I can't even clothes to wear. I know she loves me, do to the weight I don't feel like I am doing my part in our relationship. She does all the household chores that I am suppose to do but my back is always hurting my knees are always hurting. I just feel like sometimes that I am going to lose her. She always tell me that she is not going anywhere and that she love me with all her heart. But I just think that I don't take care of her like she take care of me.(she does everything for me) When we first got together we just couldn't keep our hands off of each other, we would make love for hours and now, maybe 2 times a month and it last 5 minutes if that. I use to go to bed looking sexy for her but now I sleep with a cpap machine everynite and have a mask over my face all nite. I am just so depressed. The denial of wls from my insurance has just made me so depress.

Honey, I am so sorry to read your post. Have you talked to your PCP about the denial? There must be something that can be done to fight the denial. You and your girl sound perfect. Before I was allowed to have WLS I had to lose 10 % and I tell you I started to have positive thoughts and I was able to get around better. I did a 1200 cal. diet. I tell you it was hell as all of us know, but (and this is for me and not saying it will help at all, but my 2 cents worth) I did start to feel better. I met some wonderful people in Las Vegas who have all batteled doctors and are on the losing side now. Email and let me know about the denial and let's see if we can get you some help. I will be sending out all my love to you and your girl. Put something on tonight really sexy-even if it is just a bow, and go for it. Love to you, David

Sherry~ I was thinking about you yesterday because I can relate to your situation so much. My weight Is getting me soo down. My gf tells me its ok but I really wonder is it ok. What makes me better is prayer. I pray all the time and ask God to help me. I ask him to give me the faith and the strength I need to get through this. Trying to live a everyday life is hard when your obese. I know how you feel and I understand. This weekend in NC is Charlottes first Gay Black Pride and there is a lot of things I cant do. hurting knees and backs, no clothes or just feeling yuck. My gf says its ok but I know she wants to go. It hurts me to my heart but I'm trying to hang in there. You do the same thing and hang in there. Something will happen for u. I'll keep praying for you. Were lucky to have someone so special in our life to be there for us through thick and thin. Have you tried contacting Vocation Rehab. or does your job have one? Thats who I'm going through and they are paying for my surgery and almost all my testing. Sometimes our friends and partners say they understand but til they have been our size and felt the way we felt, they really dont TRULY understand. So if you ever want to just vent, email me. If you want to call me, u can. We can cry together and get through this together. When I read your post its like I'm reading something I have posted or written in my journal. Take Care and God Bless Kay

It's so hard to believe these insurance companies sometimes. They'll spend thousands and thousands on conditions related to obesity but are so f*cking cheap on this surgery. In the long run they'd save money if they'd get smart and READ the freakin' research They'd also end lots of suffering mental and physical. I'm so sorry Sherry. Find out how many times your insurance allows you to appeal. If it's only one more tome you might want to consider haveing a lawyer who specialises in this to review your case. Good luck sweet woman.

Hey (((((Sherry))))), I'm sorry that you're going through this rough time. We've all looked in the mirror, at one time or another, and felt terrible about the person looking back at us. I, too, was denied WLS; and so was my wife. But you know what? Life goes on. Appeal!!! Don't let them off the hook so easy! Call your insurance company and ask on what basis they denied you. Is there anything you can do? Can you do their ridiculous 6 month MD supervised diet? Do you have to get a lawyer?? Honey, stand up and fight!! You're not alone. Come back here and talk to us, then go FIGHT for your life!! I appealed twice, and changed jobs to get better insurance. My new job dropped to a less expensive insurance, so of course, WLS was an exclusion that there was no appeal for. So, my girl and I started doing Adkins together. WE had to do something!! My girls's down 110# since January. I was finally convinced to try in on June 10th, and I'm down over 20 pounds. We do it together. When you find yourself feeling like you have nothing to offer--do something! Anything! Write her a letter telling her how you feel and offering some solutions. Maybe the two of you can commit to one evening of romance a week. Or, maybe commit to date night, and dont' let anything get in your way. Make your relationship the top of your priority list, so that the TWO of you can fight this thing together. It can be done, sister. I know because I've done it. You're not alone, so chin up. Don't sit by and let your relationship evaporate before your very eyes. Start thinking of ways you can show her how much you love and respect her. And begin thinking of ways she can do the same for you. Love takes time, energy, creativity and faith. Try it... Let us know how things are going, Jessica

Ooooooooooh :::::::::Hugs::::::::::: My Sweet, sweet Sherry how MUCH I relate to YOU! I still wear my CPAP only because I haven't been tested to see if I don't need it, however I sleep sometimes without it with no problems... I KNOW how embarassing (even tho I've been with my gf for 3 yrs in Oct, too) it's still a nuisance... AND I know how you feel about "new friends" and "new situations" that can arise... it's scary...change is ALWAYS scary even when it's for the good, and in our best interest. Hey girl.... just look at what you wrote... she is INTO you honey, she LOVES you, and after NINE YEARS?? HELL she aint' goin NO WHERE! Rest assured... things will get better... as long as you have an open-communication, trust and LOVE, don't worry! Besides, you are GORGEOUS. Who'd wanna give you up? Beth