GOD I HATE MY MOTHER

What the hell is wrong with this woman.... I came out to her on the 4th and she is still crying. She just called me at work and was crying on the phone saying that she needed to talk to someone.... I said ok whats up.... mom: I can't sleep and have lost 10 lbs. rory: why m: i am so upset about your situation, I have to know what happened to you to make you this way, I am such a bad mother I was unable to protect you, this isn't fair; r: you know what, this isn't about you! This is my life and I will live it the way I choose. m: I am just so sad (crying crying) r: you know what ? I am at work and don't have time for this crap (click-phone hanging up) My mother is so F*ed up. I don't call her crying saying what did I do wrong as a son? why do you eat oxycotin like candy? whaaaaaaaa She better learn to accpect this or I am just going to avoid her like the plague... I mean I think I have enough on my plate right now bewteen the surgery 4 months ago, my divorce, and coming out. Like I need her crap too? Just had to vent, thanks!!! ~ROry

Rory, That is what we are hear for... the bad as well as the good !! We all have our parent issues. I had alot of issues with my mom as well. We are not as close as we were when I was growning up. I dont call her all the time, as she would like. She calls me crying as well.... They will get over it ... if they love you !!! Its only been since the 4th. Give her time.... show her you are the same person that you were before you came out to her ! If you need an ear... I/We are here for you !!! HUGZ Glen

Give her time and point her to PFLAG. Contact your local center get a list of meetings and perhaps take her to one. You definately got lots on your plate so when you're ready maybe you and mom can get a meeting in ? After she can go on her own perhaps. In the meantime mom could see a therapist to calm her fears and explore her beliefs. I agree she should'nt be bothering you at work and you can put limits on that without being rude or mean to her. Not easy I know but do you really want to get to a point of avoiding her ? I don't know maybe you do want to avoid her but if you don't, work with her when you've got yourself settled. Good luck man.

mucho tanks!!! I will definately check out pflag!!!!!!!!

Don't we all! (just kidding) I love my mom a lot but I I understand the frustration you're feeling. I'm sure she's going through some kind of grieving process because her son is queer. But, she'll get over it. And if she doesn't you'll get over her theatrics! Give her time. And give yourself time, too, to build up strength to deal with frustrating and seemingly defeating situations like this. Soon you'll be better able to cope with these things and they won't feel like such monsters.

well... i can relate Rory to a degree... minus crying, its *****ing and yelling... and hanging up on ME... i don't call now. anyways, I dunno. I'm viewed now with disgust but most of all disappointment. that is my biggest fear is disappointing my mom... and it's come true. ANYHOO.. can't give advice only hugs just continue being yourself. beth

AWW Rory ((((((((Big Hug)))))))) So sorry that you are having a hard time but remember, you''ve got to be true to yourself. Don't let anybody jeopardize your happiness. Give her some time.......Sending good thoughts your way Kim

Rory Are you sure that was not my mom you were talking to? My mom did the same thing and it drove me nuts. After not speaking to me for 6 months, Everytime I did talk to her she was crying like a baby. She said she lost 15 lbs. and everytime she thinks of that G word (gay) lol, she gets depressed all over again. It took me and my mom a while to get back to normal so just let her cry, loose a little weight and get use to the fact that her son is gay. Things will get better. Hang in there! Kay

thanks everyone, you are all so supportive and great people!!!! I got the phone number for the pflag chapter nearest my mother and gave it to her. I told her I don't want her asking me anymore "if" I am gay, "if" I am sure , "if" something happened top me to make me this way... I told her to call pflag and they would be able to help her sort these feelings out and when she has a grasp on this then we can talk more about it.