OT - breakup again
Hello !!
And i planned on having a great weekend...long story short...i have remained friends w/ my ex (broke up dec 2003) throughout..she moved to fl last year but we stayed in touch..she since has a new g/f...i still love her and it hurts to talk to her...her new g/f wont let her see me (jealous) and rarely lets her talk to me..i do blame the ex also...so tonight in therapy, i was telling Jay (therapist) about it and he told me i need to end the friendship w/ her..i completely agreed and wanted to, but i needed that push..so there was the phone call tonight...i couldnt stopped crying as i told her i still loved her and couldnt continue to be 'friends' with her, etc...she was so understanding and said she wanted to stay friends.blah blah blah...at the end of the call i told her i loved her, and she said it back to me..it broke my heart...i got home and emailed her, thanking her for her love, our experiences, etc...it was a sappy email and again i told her i loved her...she wrote back thanking me and telling me how wonderful our time together was, etc..it was a beautiful email that again broke my heart...she broke up with me cuz she said she loved me as a friend..it was a decent breakup, but i am still in love with her..it just hurts so much again..i cant stop crying...i wonder if i did the right thing? 
thanks for listening, i needed to vent!
thanks for listening, i needed to vent! 
I'm so sorry you're hurting so much right now. I'ts so hard and there just isn't any fast way to heal either. It will get better though...won't be easy but will get better. For what it's worth I think you did the right thing by breaking off contact with your ex. Staying in contact will prolong your heartache and prevent you from eventually moving forward and finding a woman who loves you as a lover and partner. I know from experience how hard this is and encourage you to be with friends when you feel lonely. Try not to isolate in your house as that will only feed your sadness. I'm sorry you're feeling such pain right now but all I can say is it will get better. Take care sweet girl. Come here anytime to vent . Brenda
I agree, you did the right thing. I know it sucks, but you and her are in different spots.
When you get to the spot where you CAN just be friends then ya'll will be
in the same spot and it will be mutual/respectful relationship, not one sided and making you feel like a fool.
Like one of my good friends told me when I was going through a tuff breakup.... You'll wake up for a week and think of her right when you open your eyes, then you'll make it all the way to the bathroom and won't think of her until you go pee (sorry, I'm just relaying it like I heard it.. then you won't think of her until you get out of the shower, then.. you get the picture. It's true.
These are the hardest times... we've all been there.
Use your support people, your family here, etc.. to help you through this and give yourself the time to heal.
Then if you still EVEN want to after that you can choose be her friend!
(((((Dawn))))
It's been a rough few days, I know. I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling right now. As the others have said, you need time. Every single day, you're one step farther from the pain, and one step closer to peace. Trust time. Words are a good start, but time is what will ease your unbearable pain.
Keep talking. Come hear and lean on us. Call any friends you have that you trust to hear you,and who will have an agenda focused on you; not them. Cry. Write--a letter good-bye, that you can burn or mail; whatever you need once you fini**** Journal...it's a tremendous tool for purging feelings. It's private, and you can say absolutely anything you need to say without judgement or needing to justify it.
Take time for you. Take care of you. And walk toward healthy relationship; that fuels you, as well as your partner. She's moved on with her life, and now it's time for you to do the same.
Peace to you,
Jessica
Beth Most Active
Recent Topics
