Anyone been there?

Okay, I have been struggling inside myself and I thought why do it alone when my family is only a click away. Actually, I've been too embarrassed and I usually keep relationship stuff to myself. I've found out by experience doing that doesn't work very good. So here I go... While physically I am doing good, my relationship with my partner, Chris, is, well, not doing so hot. I can ramble on about what she does or doesn't do, but in the end, it just may be me. I might be sabotaging this relationship; maybe this is my "way out". Will that make me happier? I don't know. Right now, it's not. Actually it seems that nothing makes me happy right now. Maybe I shouldn't have come off my anti-depressants so soon! I don't think I can blame this on some drug. I find myself escaping in my work, exercise, being on the computer, wanting to spend money, drink, whatever. Just looking for my next "fix" so to speak. None of those things are bring me much relief and that's very frustrating and annoying. Feels like I am chasing the wind.. In my 37 yo mind I know this too shall pass, but for now thanks for letting me vent.

Hi Jo-Ell... While I'm not post-op, and relate to all the changes that must be going on in your life, I can offer this bit of advice. If you aren't seeing atherpist/counselor, seek one out now and talk about these issues. You owe it to yourself to find out what your source of "anxiety" is now. Maybe it is YOU. Maybe it's your relationship. Maybe it's just that you do need to be back on meds. You've taken such a huge, life-altering step to change your body, maybe your mind needs to catch up. I'm all for any help we can get an any point in our lives--and I've seen it do a lot a good for a lot of people. In the meantime, you're among friends here. Send you big HUGS! Jen

Thank you Jen For your Insight, Advice and much needed big HUGS!

Dear Jo-Ell, Hey Fellow Central Florida Girl! We are in Orlando.........and we are starting a Gay/Lesbian/Transgender WLS support group.....just "family" sitting around supporting one and other.......I am 5 weeks out and my "war buddy" Alan, is also 5 weeks out.....our surgeon was Dr. Kim at Celebration Hospital....and we figured a G/L/T Gab Group would be a great idea as there is a large number of Gay folks who are seeking or have had the WLS.......think peer support.....no professionals. I just know that as our anatomy has changed, so our lives will also as more and more horizons open to us......so perhaps you might find a kindred spirit that will offer you some clarification to the questions you are seeking answers to. We are just now advertising in the US Bariatrics newsletters/mass emails....so we haven't yet formed.....but if you would be intersted please email me at [email protected] and I'll let you know if and when our support group gets off the ground. In any event.........best of luck to you and yours! Goddess Bless! Sally 318/285

::::::::::Hugs::::::::::::::::: I have no advice since I sabotage my relationship everyday with my erratic mood swings, and I'm on anti-D's... sooo...just take it day by day honey that's all I can give advice wise If you need to talk, email me Beth

Any reason in particular you stopped the antideppressant ? I became irritable and easily tearful when I switched over to another drug for depression that was at too low a dose. You just might need the chemical to keep your depression at bay. Of course it may be time to evaluate the relationship too. It's harder to say what you need up front to your partner. Sabotaging is a way to force the other to break off the relationship. Don't do that to your partner...it's hard enough just breaking up. Maybe counseling will help you figure out what you really want. Good luck