POLL: Has your relationships changed?

I know, I know, I'm the post ***** today.... Anyway, I want to know, has ANY of your relationships changed better or worse, or even? (i.e. family, friends, SOs, coworkers, etc)... also, for the single people out there, how is your dating life? Has it improved or just non-existent? Come on, play let's get this board *beth*

I want to play! I don't know how much I can play since I am preop but I will try my best. As for my wife, things have actually gotten better between the two of us. When I first mentioned it she was worried and unsure. She then turned to hate it because I was always online researching. However, after I took her to the seminar, this is when things got better. She understood more what it was about and it really sank in then that I was serious and really wanted this surgery. Since then, we have started going to the gym and relaxing in the sauna, and this has helped us greatly. I have also been willing to go do more things because I know soon I will be more like the "old" me who loved to go out and do things. I already feel like I have such great improvements in my energy level and know things will only get better. As for my family, I haven't really told any of them yet. My family is so tiny and I don't think they would really understand. My sisters are a size 0 while my mom is a size 4. It's a little difficult being in a size 20 next to them. Last year sometime I casually mentioned that I would love to go on the Swan and my little sister freaked out! She said I was fine the way I am and don't need any surgery to make myself look better. So I have been very hesistant to telling them. As for my coworkers, I have told them that I am planning on it and they all shake their head and laugh at me (not negatively) but because of the way I say things. I guess I have always used humor to try and make situations more comfortable. They have not really said anything bad but just wish that everything goes ok. Phew! I think I answered all parts of the question. I will play again after I have the surgery.

That's awesome NB It reallllllllllly helps to have a support system going, and I've only ran into a few negative strangers, but my family, friends and my gf are VERY supportive, and remain so... It is your body and your decision. If you don't want to talk about it, then don't. You are not obligated to "explain" your health or appearance to anyone... I'm glad we all have each other here Keep me posted about your surgey,k?

Well having a partner, who when we met, described himself as a "chubby chaser", I have been a bit scared. I told him about my fear the other night and he told me his fear. Now that I am losing all this weight men will be looking at me more and I can go off with many more then just the chasers. Well we both had a good laugh and a cry. I think this will make us stronger. He has been going to the gym with me all the time. He is looking way way way great, and he makes sure I am getting in all my vitamins, water, protien and the like. I am a lucky man. David

David, Sounds like you 2 are pretty much on the same level, and that's vital. My gf worries constantly of my wandering eye, and the wandering eyes of others. But a relationship is built on trust... and well... this surgery presents a whole host of "new" situations that trust is vital... You are very lucky and good luck with your progress

I AGREE BETH lets get this board roaring... There are a lot of you (you know who you are) out there...we'd love to hear from U2.. Ok, back to meee.. My relationship(s) has gotten better. I like myself more and that like spills over to the people I'm around, including and especially my girlfriend. We have been together for 5 years. She treats me like a queen. Ok she didn't go to any of the pre-op support groups/appts, but she stayed with me in the hospital, she bathed me and thats the "mean a lot stuff". I was pretty dependent on my grl friend before the surgery and of course afterwards, but as I'm getting healthier, physically and maybe mentally too (?) I see that I'm growing more independent, not necessarily away from her, just more into myself and that feels good. If it came down to needing her to do something, she'd do it. I know this for sure and that feels good 2 Hey Beth, How 'bout U, I'm fairly new here, what's your story?

As of right now, it's midnight, and I have had yet ANOTHER argument with my Oh so supportive girlfriend who doesn't know **** about the emotional issues I'm dealing with. She thinks I'm being way too irrational and just plain freaking out over everything... My life is NOT good now, family, school, etc, and I'm having everything thrown at me at once today/tonight... I'm on antidepressants, but they seem to not be able to control my emotions as of yet. Granted, as I've posted on my profile, when I don't eat, they don't kick in, but **** i mean I need some help here... I'm glad I had surgery, but I feel as if I can't handle anything at times... especially right now. Sorry, but you wanted to know. I'm not always a ray of sunshine.

Beth Sorry to hear about those issues... I know I have been there. Stay focused. Remember you did have this surgery FOR you and your health. If your GF is not being supportive... then you need to be proactive and do something about it. I did and IM MUCH HAPPIER !!!! I know its hard VERY HARD... but you had WLS to be a healthier you... not to have to take meds to help with your emotions !!!! I hope things get getter for you !!!! If you wanna talk, email me !!! SENDING BIG HUGZ TO YOU MY FRIEND !!!!!! Glen

Thank you Glen Everyone is so encouraging and reading other's situations helps tremendously. Thank you for being a friend to me and being so kind. Today is a new day. I'm feeling a bit better, it's just so overwhelming at times to think about being alone again, and we're trying to get along, it's just that at times I think she'd be better off without dealing with my problems. I've never really had a hard time dealing with my scattered emotions, but since surgery, it's like I'm a totally different person emotionally. It's very odd. Something I have to definitely try to get control of. Thanks again, and I really do appreciate the family support here

Hey babe !!!! NO WORRIES !!!! We are all here to support each other ! As far as your emotions going wacky... that is THE NORM... I think it has something to do with .... well im not sure what the name is... like men have testosterone... women have.... =) and its stored in FAT. Well since you are losing... those hormones dont have a place to be stored so they are floating all over... I too was on antidepressants for a while after WLS to control those emotions... Im sure we all share in the same problems that you are facing. EVERYONE in todays world faces them.... Im dealing with not working right now cause I opted for the lower body lift... and I thought financially I would be ok... well.... =) things dont come about as you always plan for.... BUT one thing I do know is that I have my health and I know if I can overcome being 350 lbs overweight... I can overcome ANYTHING !!!!! and SO CAN YOU DARLIN !!!!! Keep your chin up ... and know you have family here to vent with ! HUGZ AND SMOOTCHES !!!!