Ups and downs

Geesh, this week has been FULL of a lot of ups and downs for me. I used to be worried about my emotional life AFTER surgery, but it's been a rollercoaster ride BEFORE surgery! The beginning of last week I was so psyched because I went to a support group for my surgeon and had an awesome conversation w/2 folks ho were just celebrating their 1-yr post-op anniversary. I was so exhilerated that some day that was going to be ME! But now this week, I am so bummed because I feel like I am treading water in this process, just waiting for (hopefully) the final appointment on my list before my case is submitted for insurance approval. My doctor doesn't set a date until approval is received, so I'm chomping at the bit for that to happen. It's hard to make work and summer plans not knowing when this will all happen. After living my whole life as a fat person, you'd think I'd be ok with another month or two of it. But once I made up my mind and got the ball rolling, it can't happen soon enough. Part of me feels like it wants to live in the future...and I know another part won't let go of the past. (That would be that part that made 2 frozen pizzas for dinner last night, instead of just 1. HA!) So...send me some support! I need some encouragement to get me through the waiting this week! And any tips to keep myself from going crazy would be much appreciated! Jen

Jen, I too am preop and thought I would share with you what I have done to make myself pass the time. I haven't experienced getting real bummed yet, just bored. I am trying to stall my surgery until October since that will be my next month off of work (I teach in a year round school). I get anxious thinking when I'm healthier I will be able to do "such and such" more. For example, I went to the women's weekend in Guerneville this past weekend, and there was a few things I would have liked to been able to do (like sit around the pool with everyone else and feel comfortable enough to sit there in a swimsuit). Instead of getting down on myself, I picture the situation of me actually thinner enjoying myself. This has really helped me. I picture myself wearing certain things or being able to do certain things (like riding the ride without worrying my boobs will be too big for the harnes to close). This brings me pleasure and actually helps me not want to overeat or indulge in those oh so naughty things that I love. I hope this helps.Don't worry, before you know it, your time will be here. I wish you the best of luck, and hope you can find a way to make your time go by faster. Neici

I wish these boards had spell check! I notice my errors after it's been posted! Do I take the time to preview when I am given the chance? Of course not! I really do know how to spell harness I swear

Awwwwww SWEETIE ((((((((((((Jen)))))))))))) No wonder I haven't heard from you GIRL I know EXACTLY how you feel now... I had to wait 2 years Once you get it in your mind that one day your going to be healthy again, that's ALL you think about, and when that ball slows down, frustration sets in...you already know this *duh* but really...it wont be that long I PROMISE girlie... just take a deep breath, enjoy what you can now because it will be a long time (after surgery) before you can enjoy them again (i.e. triple fudge sundaes) but right now, I don't crave anything so maybe you won't either, I dunno, I'm kinda sucky at advice, but I am here for ya, email me... u already have mail Beth

Jen, I know exactly how you feel... I waited for 3 years to get approved and then I finally got a date that was 5 months away. About 2 weeks before my date, the doctor's office called to tell me that he had got called for jury duty and my surgery had to be postponed for 2 more weeks! I was ready to explode into atom sized pieces! I spent my last month eating everything that I loved that I knew that I wouldn't be able to eat anymore. I even had a party on the weekend before my surgery where everyone brought dishes of lushous food (especially what I liked). I called it the "Last Supper". Everyone had a blast and they got their stomachs full. Frankly by the time my surgery date came, I was so tired of thinking about what I wanted to eat that I think it helped with the food thing after my surgery. I was absolutely done with food at that point. I believe that we should live our lives in color every single day. Don't worry about the date... it will come. Just keep on living and fill up your time with things that make you happy. The rest is a cake walk, even without eating the cake! Best, Amy