joining the list today

Hello all! I have been lurking on this and other lists on this site for awhile, and finally am jumping in the water. My name is Shoshana and I am scheduled for my RNY on June 30th. It is ironic to me to be reading that many folks feel unwelcome as a fat person in the queer community, and my problem is the opposite! Since I decided to have surgery, the worst responses have been from fat activist dykes who think I am a traitor and a sell out! Never mind all my health and mobility problems, it is more important to not "give in the societal stereotype". Well, duh! That aint the reason. I started at 355 in November and am now down to 320 and living on protein shakes to get my bmi down. Doc says he can't promise me a laproscopic procedure at my size, so I am trying my damndest to be closer to a bmi of 51. Well, should get back to work for now. Thanks for being there!

Hey, Shoshana! Welcome to the list! Isn't it funny how we GLBT can sometimes be our own worst enemies? I think "dyke" is a state of mind--not just a look. Whether you are a "fat activist" dyke, a fat "activist dyke" or a fat activist "dyke, you're still YOU on the inside. Someday they'll realize that. Good luck on your surgery...you've done a great job getting this far. Jen

Shoshana, Hello right back at you! Isn't it amazing at the very people who are preaching acceptance aren't very accepting? It never ceases to amaze me. Accepting yourself and others who are obese is cool and it should happen, but that doesn't mean that you are a sell-out if you try to do something to improve your health. I am pretty sure that people who lash out at you are really just insecure in there own shell and eventually when that shell starts to give them pain and discomfort they will want to address their own issues. Personally, I would rather be Around then round. Smile and keep on keeping on! Best, Amy

Thanks everyone for all the support. I just love that line Amy used "I'd rather be around than round". I really needed the encouragement this week. I am pms-ing hard and find myself craving old, unhelpful coping strategies. I have been on this liquid protein only thing since may 10th and I am so ready to eat real food again!! Well, exactly 2 more weeks til surgery, I guess I can pray my way through this waiting... damn, I am so bad at waiting....

((((((SHOSHANA))))))) I love your name, that's pretty WELCOME to the GLBT boards, you will find love, support and new friends here. I'm sorry about your friends non-support...that sucks. I have been ridiculed by other "girls" who are even sporty or butch, and I'm femme, and they have the gall to make ugly comments to me when I was 367...go figure...that was the LAST place (family) I figured I would be ridiculed for what I looked like.....ho hum......anyway, people are people and will always be meanies out there so don't let what people say hold you back from your life, and your health honey! Let us know how things are going ok? Best wishes, Beth

I have lurked a long time so I guess I am kinda new to but...I wanted to say that I weighed 322 at my first consult and my Dr said he could do it LAP. I had gotten down to 279 when I had my surgery but I still think you have a good chance. Elizabeth Sugar Hill, GA

Hi I've been lerking myself. It's taken me I while to decide weather or not I would or could do this thing. A women at my Dr. office had the surgery and so did her mom. She told me about this site. It's been great. Every question I've had some one on here has answered. I've noticed that friends I've told about this are dieting now. It was OK for them to be over weight as long as someone was heavier then them. And, that's me now. But, it's not going to be. You go girl.

Hi Shoshana, Congratulations on the wt you have lost so far - thats awesome! Now that we know you...welcome to the group..look how many lurkers you brought out by coming out yourself... HI ALL! All those non-supporters, no worries, your doing this for you, your health, your life... You know, I once had a guy tell me I smiled too much.. he was trying to put me down so I'd be as unhappy as he was..what a loser. __ By the way, I saw your profile.. what a honorable profession. Take care, keep posting!

I have talked to some guys who felt betrayed by the "chub" and/or "bear" subcultures. Just do what you need to do for yourself - to hell with the rest.