Silly Question

Ok so here goes, ive been reading here for a few months now and I have a question...well a statement and question. First off did anyone have surgery and lose weight and then find out you were gay? This has seemed to happen to me. The problem is im married and have been for 13 years. I fell in love with a friend of mine and its been the best thing that has ever happened to me. She loves me with her whole soul and I love her too. Ok now the real problem, my hubby knows about her and us and of coarse hes not happy about it, she was living with us but has now moved into one of my other houses. I want to be with her so bad but I went to the plastic surgen monday and I will be going back in June to have boobs and tummy....ok so the kicker, the insurance in thru my hubby so im stuck. If I leave I know he will stop the insurance to to **** me off and if i stay I may lose her. She understands how bad I want these surgeries and why I have to stay and she said she will wait as long as she has to. O did i mention we were both straight before...never looked or thought about it. So any reponse is welcome negative or not.... LaRhonda 312/187/150

The surgery didn't do that one for me and thank goodness it doesn't have that effect on us or I would turn into a straight woman with a mini van, kids and (GASP) a husband. I was a lesbian before it was cool to be one (although I always thought it was pretty cool..lol). Quite a predicament you are in and I don't envy you. The only thing that I can think of, and I am just being honest here, is that I couldn't use someone that I care for just for insurance even if it were before my surgery as bad as I wanted to have it then. I also couldn't hurt someone that I think I am in love with by being with someone else. My advice for what it's worth is to be true to yourself, your feelings, and those in your life that you care about. If you don't, it will wind up slapping you in the face later. Karma is a very powerful thing my friend. Careful what you put out there! I truly wish you luck and happiness... Amy

ok I was also married with kids but our relationship ended 3 years ago way b4 I had my surgery. Now I knew I had these feeling for woman. But I was with my husband for 11 years and never cheated or did anything to disrespect him. Over the course of the years of our relationship he started doing drugs and started becoming abusive than I met a woman who changed all that and show me that I need to get out of that relationship. So I left him not because of some freak thing that happen with another woman but because it was the right thing to do for me and my kids. So what you are doing or thinking about doing is wrong. You are not being fair to him or her. If you love her be with her. I'm sorry that you have to go thru this but you should never jepoardize your happiness.

I agree with both Amy and Renee. Do what you need to do for you, not for insurance purposes. If you don't have the plastics, it's not the end of the world and apparently this woman loves you for you........not for how you look. No one can give you a decision on what to do, but all I'll suggest is take your time and be sure leaving your husband of 13 years for a woman is truly what you want in your heart. I'd hate for this to be some fantasy relationship and it not work out for you. There you'd be without either of them by your side. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best. I know it's a tough decision you're facing, but just be sure. Vicki

Okay, you say your husband knows about your relationship with this woman, and I'm guessing from what you say he wants to work things out between you and he. You say you've been married for 13 years---do you still love him? (Yes, it's quite possible to love two people at once.) Does he still love you? If you still love him and he still loves you---sit down and TALK with him about how you feel about this woman. If you truly don't see any way your marriage can continue, explain to him WHY. Ask him if still loves you enough to keep you on his insurance long enough for you to have your plastics done. If he really DOES still love you, he'll agree. If he refuses, then you'll at least know the marriage really is kaput. And just my two cents' worth about your statement "O did i mention we were both straight before...never looked or thought about it". You just may NOT be a lesbian---just someone who's found her soulmate, no matter what body she's wearing at the moment. (*grin*)