What's it like??

Girls and boys..what is it like to go from being the "funny" fat girl that has "such a pretty face" to the hot skinny mama?? I mean..I've seen a lot of you girls that post...all beautiful and what huge differences in your before and after photos!! I have to admit though I am scared of the hanging skin and having boobs to my ankles..so I wonder am I going to loose one complex and gain another?? I hope not..I've really worked hard at this mental thing..you know to get the right mind set going but I'm just being honest with myself. It is a concern I have. AND..I often wonder if I'll resent those that hadn't noticed me before only to notice me later..Does that make sense?? How are some of you dealing with that?? AND..(lol..have a lot on my mind tonight)..what about dating..like everyone does dinner and something else right..like if a hottie asks me to dinner to I tell her before hand..or just say I'd like to do something else..or what?? Yes I'm anxious..I know..putting the cart before horse..BUT.if everything works out for me, i'll be having my surgery on 1/18..which is close!! Sleepless in Baltimore... Diana

Hi Diana, good question. I get bugged about my hanging skin. I NEVER wear short sleeves or too short of shorts. We always have something to nit pick!! I lost 260 pounds, you don't look like you have that much to lose. I also wore a bra 24~7 and that helped with the breasts!! It depends on your age and how much your skin has stretched AND when you start losing, exercise helps tremendously. I loved the attention at first and now I'm just trying to fit in where ever I go, I used to tell everyone I had WLS. I did get angry when people were nice to me, especially the ones who didn't even notice me before. But now the fat girls are mean to me, especially if they don't know me?? Go figure!! LOL I don't think your putting the cart before the horse, getting educated is the most important issue in my book!! Keep asking questions!!! Try not to lose any sleep over it though!! LOL Good luck on your up coming surgery!!!!

Well I think that you look great now!! And as for those who notice you only after you lose weight....... screw them!! A persons beauty is inside, we only carry the shell around because it's a handy place to store our brain. If people can't "notice" that you are a good person in spite of the shell you carry, then they don't deserve your time of day. I get really mad at those who think they are better than others because of their physical appearance. I know some real A-holes who are "pretty" and I know a few nice ones. But it's usually those who lack what others call "appeal" for one reason or another that are the most kind and considerate. I think that's because they know what it's like to be shunned. It's tough enough to be gay, and then there are those who act like they are part of an exclusive group and treat others like dirt. You know, it's like being in High School all over again. I don't care what someone looks like, it's what's inside that counts. I know..sounds like a cliche, but some people really believe it. Good luck with everything and don't worry about the skin. When you find the right person they won't care. Take care.

Diana, I thought about all those things before my surgery...still thinking about them to be honest. You seem to have a really vibrant and wonderful spirit, and I am hoping for you that you turn into the "funny" hot skinny mama (and who says you are not hot already?) who doesn't change inside, but does become healthier and happier because of it. Most of the time, beauty isn't on the outside. It is more about how you make other people feel when they are with you.... enough said... Although I still have a ways to go with loosing, I have had people suddenly start talking to me who never spoke to me before and who hardly looked my way. It has bothered me on occasion, but I know that some people are shallow and I just put a little mark in address book in my head to make note of them. I also think that we open ourselves up after surgery to others because we feel better and this makes us more approachable. Just take people as they are and go from there. You also just have to let yourself and others adjust. Skin isn't one of my favorite things to think about these days. I will not stand naked in front of the mirror and stare at myself because it will make me crazy, but I feel better when I have clothes on and no one else seems to notice it. Not sure how I will feel in the summer though! EGAD! As for dating, why not accept the invitation to dinner (after you have been cleared to eat more regular foods)? Even Barries (my term for bariatric patients) have to eat! We just have to be more careful about where we go and what we order. I will admit that I am not as excited about the dining out thing now as your average person is, but if I wasn't in a relationship and I wanted to meet someone and get to know them, why not do it over a sensible dinner and then on to something else? As an off topic thing here, I am originally from Maryland and I will be there to see my family in 2 weeks! Woooo Hoooooo!!!!!!! My sister had her surgery done in Baltimore 8 months ago and I can't wait to see her. Keep us updated on your progress and have wonderful holidays! Amy

Hi Diana - fellow Marylander, The first big issue for me was getting healthy. One the dating question my partner of nine years split one week before my surgery. But I am having fun and have already met someone. She likes taking me to dinner because I am a cheap date. LOL. Hang in there it is easier then you think.

Thanks everyone..I appreciate the words of wisdom...Hopefully I'll hear something soon.. I have my 2nd sleep apnea study tonight..URGH.. I'll update later.. Ciao- Diana