Situation......

Hey all...I'm new to the boards and was wondering on some things and decided to get some feedback. The situation is that I want to get the ball rolling on having the lap band procedure and my partner is totally aganist it. Don't get me wrong she say that she likes the way I look and if I want to lose some weight then just go to the gym or go on a diet.....she doesn't seem to realize that I have been doing the "workout" and "diet" thing all of my life and alone it just isn't working. My partner is on the more petite side...she is like 5 feet tall and only weighs like 170 pounds {she is ****y}, but has no problem losing weight, she has actually picked up weight over the past 2 years that we have been dating. I have a 10 year old son {who is extremely active} and I have a very demanding job {I own my own company...I'm a professional event planner...so I'm surrounded by little bitty women...and at the events its sometimes hard to keep up}. So am I being selfish for wanting to have the surgery anyway even though she doesn't like the idea?? I'm turning 30 next year and I want to be a new person on the outside to further compliment the person that I am on the inside. Neda

Neda, This may not be as tough as you think it is. You didn't say how long you have been thinking/researching WLS. Most times when partners are opposed it's because they are scared about the surgery. They also don't have enough information about it. It would be good if you went to an informational session offered by a REPUTABLE surgeon and had her accompany you. My partner had concerns and went with me to the session. She asked questions and had her fears allayed. She was still concerned because it IS MAJOR SURGERY and she is a nurse. She knows what can happen-even when all the odds are on your side. Have you discussed this with your PCP? Perhaps your partner would feel more positive about it if she knew your PCP was recommending it. You don't say what your BMI is so I have no way of telling how overweight your are and whether or not WLS is an option for you. I recommend research on WLS and talking with your PCP. Good luck! Ann

I have a question, would you do this if you were not with her?? If the answer is yes, then be selfish, for yourself and your son!! Just an ol ladies opinion!!

About 2 months after my surgery, I again thanked my partner for her unfailing support (she was wonderful) - but also told her that I would have done it anyway - that's how important it was for me. If it would help any, I'd be very happy to talk to her. Or she can use OH to do some research of her own. Are you 100% sure you want to do the lap-band? Most of us had RNY - your choice, of course, but the success rate is higher statistically with RNY - though it's a more complex surgery. Any way I can help..... Ruth