Topic #5

Feel free to start your own topics guys. I am really enjoying getting to know you all, and happier still that I had something to do with a recent love connection! So, here goes the next topic. Tell us about your family. Your mom? (Mothers Day). Do you consider your family of origin or of choice to be more important to you? Why? Ready... set.... GO! -Donna

Hi Donna. My parents are gone - mom in 1986 and dad in 1990. My family was so totally dysfunctional it's a wonder that any of us function. I have 2 brothers and a sister - I'm very close to my sister and one of my brothers. I have two nephews and a niece that I adore. The most important member of my family is my partner Sherry. I tease her and call her my fiancee as we plan to be married when it's legal. We didn't make it to San Francisco to be wed. While my biological family is important to me, I think that my family of choice is more important. It's a different type of bond. I do think that it is a matter of choice. We're kind of stuck with our family and mostly love them, but when we choose people, it makes them more important in our lives, in my opinion. I love our community. Thanks for these topics, Donna - I'll come up with one in a little while. Ruth

Hi Donna, I have a strong bond with some members of my family and I have always been close to my mom. My parents got divorced 8 years ago, our family was never very functional my dad was an alcoholic and my mom was a sexaholic...I think all my genes belong to her. My brother and I split up when my parents did, my father was asked which of us he preferred to stay with him and he chose me since he knew it would bring more pain to my mother. When I turned 18 I told my father I was gay and we had a big fight over it, he said alot of bad things to me and I hit him, he proceeded to tell me that I was a mistake and that he never wanted to speak to me again. I moved back in with my father after my partner died last year, and still we do not talk instead he prefers to talk through his *****s. My chosen family is far more important to me than my natural family will ever be I still see my mom all the time and we are very close but there will always be the missing years that we didnt see each other. Thanks for these topics I cant wait to see more and I will see if I can think of a good one!! Take Care, William

Ok, here goes my response. My family. I'm an only child from the midwest. I moved to AZ then to Cali. My parents moved to Florida when I was out of college. Yes, they're still together amazingly enough. My mom is the best in the whole world. It was a little hard for her to accept my coming out, but she sought out information and did her best to understand. She has since started a PFLAG group and had a big part in making her church have an open and affirming statement. She is my best friend, apart from Tina. We talk nearly every day. My dad I thought would have trouble with it, but he was ok with it from the get go. He and my mom have had some major issues, which I am finding reflected in my relationship. Do we really marry our parents? hehe. My mom mourned that she wouldnt get to see me get married or have children. So, she was quite surprised when Tina and I got engaged. We threw a beautiful wedding on July 4 2001. I have to say it was the best wedding I've ever been to, and many of the guests said the same. My entire family was there, coming from Illinois, Pennsylvania, Conneticut, northern California, Arizona, and Florida. Everyone loves Tina and fully supports us. We've had hard times lately actually, but I'm glad we made that formal commitment. To me, it seems to make the relationship a little more sturdy. Family has now committed to helping us, just like any other married couple. As for children, I am definitely going to do that once this weight comes off. I tried for about 2-3 years with AI, but being too heavy, diabetic, asthmatic, and having PCOS I was unsuccessful. Thats a big reason why I wanted to get this surgery finally. I want to carry a healthy baby and I want to have enough energy to keep up with him or her at 36 or so by the time I have them. As far as family of choice I have had a few. I had a good group in Arizona, and was pretty much part of a friends family for many years. They didn't really accept my coming out though, so its a bit awkward when I see them now. Tina and I had a band, and our extended family came through that. Unfortunately, miscommunications and geography ultimately ended that. We are now working to rebuild a local family. She is an only child too, and her bio family is on the east coast. We have each other though, and some good friends, so we're ok. All right, enough of me. Now, it's your turn! -Donna