SIngle??????????????????????????

You would think that my biggest issue is the WLS but NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'm 28 been with my partner almost 2 yrs. She is 23. Hmmmmmmmmmm starting to think I should have went older. All we do is fight mostly abouth the WLS and this site Any suggestions?

I am sorry to hear that you and your partner are fighting over the WLS and this site. Any idea what may be troubling her? My partner and I speak often about how the surgery has affected not only me but also will affect her. My surgery was 3 weeks ago and I have lost 22lbs so far. She admitted that she was fearful that I would lose weight and then not want her anymore. I needed to reassure her that she loves me now as I am and I won't toss her out just because I get thinner and may turn some other people's heads! Has your partner spent some time looking at this site? That may help her to see that nothing inappropriate goes on here. I would be happy to ask my partner to speak with you about some of her concerns...maybe they could email eachother so your partner would have someone to speak to about her concerns. Anyway, I hope that you two can come to a truce because I know that having a supportive partner can mean the difference between success and failure. Good luck....Anna

Hi Robbin, I agree with Anna. We had to sit down and spend time talking about our feelings and what both our expectations were. My partner has always been supportive thankfully and we celebrate our 10 year anniversary this year. I am 7months post-op and am within 10 pounds of my goal weight. I can wear my partner's clothes now which is weird cause he has always been small. He did slowly gain 20 pounds during our relationship (who wouldn't eatting the food I was making) but took it off as soon as I became post op and started eating right. Now going to the grocery store is like going on an African Safari. We both carefully read every label and look for the items which have the lowest number of carbs. I would like him to exercise with me but I have chronic back pain and haven't been able to do much physically. I had an implantable pain pump put in last week so I'm hoping that the bad pain will be behind me now and I will be able to become more active. Jealousy is VERY common with partners of WLS. Even my other half who was very supportive did have his moments of "you're going to get skinny and leave me". Ya'll hang in there and keep talking. You'll be able to work it out. Gregg 253/157/150 Open RNY 9-30-03 New Orleans, Louisiana

Are you fighting over WLS because she's scared of the changes ahead, or are you fighting about EVERYTHING because she's young and you're both in two different places intellectually? This is a very trying time for all of us--the preparation for surgery, the many health and eating changes we have to go through--and the fear of the unknown. Is she working as hard on maintaining and enriching the relationship--or are you both simply comfortable with one another and don't want to do the big time work of walking away and starting over? Right now, especially, you need support, and you need a level ground with which to take the steps necessary to make these changes positive and lifelong. You're obviously doing nothing wrong by coming to this site for support. And since I don't know what all else you're fighting about, all I can say to you is--is it all worth it? Do the good times outweigh the bad? Is she enriching your life. Is the fight worth it? Is she worth it. Perhaps you can write out the pros and cons of the relationship, and that may help you decide if, in fact, all this fighting is a sign of something you've not thought of... You've got support here. Feel free to write me anytime. Take care, Jessica