Hi/Intro

Hi everyone. I've known this board was here for a while, but I I kind of chickened out about having surgery and now that I've finally made up mind to have it, I've decided to post. I live with my parnter in Hill City, MN and I go to school at BSU in Bemidji. My BMI is 48. I don't have a surgery date yet, but hope to within the next few months. Nice to meet you all! -Jenn

Hi Jenn Welcome I am waiting on approval. The Weight loss Center I am going through called last night and said the nurse approved it now the Dr will review then ins co. I have been scared also. Last night I wondered if I was doing the right thing but I need to do something and I have tried and tried to diet. Glad you posted on the board. I do not have a partner but an needing support from the community. Best wishes on your journey. Let me know If I can assist. Patti

Welcome!

Hi Jenn! Welcome! What made you chicken out about the surgery?? If you don't mind saying... Chari

Thanks for the welcome, everyone! Why I Chickened... I think there a probably a few different reasons. One is that I've never had any kind of surgery before, for any reason. I'm a little apprehensive about the whole process. I suppose another reason is that the lesbian community in my area is big on "Love your body, don't try to change it, no matter what." The health risks of obesity are played down greatly and lesbians who opt for weight-loss surgery are seen as "victims of the patriarchal beauty standard" rather than as women who are taking control of a serious problem. I spent a lot of time weighing my current obesity comorbidities, family history, mental health etc. and how they might be improved vs the risks of surgery. I've finally come to the conclusion that for me, how I look IS a factor in wanting surgery (I'm not going to pretend it's not, because it surely is), but it is NOT the most important factor. My desire to lose weight has much less to do with beauty standards than with wanting to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without panting, find cheap clothing, and be less likely to have to deal with the strokes and heart attacks that have traditionally plagued various members of my family. 21, in my opinion, is way too young to for a person to have my blood pressure. A long answer to a short question, but I sure feel better -Jenn

Hey there Bemidji! St Louis Park Here! As a fellow lesbian and feminist, I TOTALLY hear where you're coming from about the "patriarchal victim. . .blah blah blah" stuff. Was one of the harder things for me to get through too. Bottom line, no one can tell you who you are, least of all the people who are supposed to love you "exactly as you are." I am not doing this to become Gwen Stefani, or Cindy Crawford. I am doing this because I fully intend to live a LONG healthy life - and if I don't do this, I will live a shorter sicker life. You're worth it! Best of luck to you on your journey! ~Lara

Hey Jenn, Thanks for answering my question so thoughtfully. Those are all excellent reasons to feel "chicken" about having the surgery. It sounds as though you've taken the time to think things through and have made the committment to move forward. In my not-so-humble opinion, anyone who thinks a "morbidly obese" person would put themselves through all the things involved with these surgeries just to "look good" has absolutely no idea what the surgery is about; let alone what it's like to have co-morbidities. I read your bio where you wrote you received approval very quickly. For me it was over a year so I've had lots of time to think, brood, get scared, get excited, etc... Just as coming out is a process, so is this surgeryand it's aftermath, so having 15 months to deal with the emotional aspects has actually been helpful for me. Not that the emotions are over certainly, but I've definitely had time to process this. I know I still go through the emotional roller coaster and I still have nine or ten weeks before the surgery itself! Anyway, thanks for sharing and welcome to the community! Chari