Hi everyone

Hi everyone.

My name is Shawn. I live in the east bay area of the San Francisco bay area. I am once again starting up my journey of having wls. I started almost 4 years ago, then stopped wehn I felt I would never be able to lose the 30lbs that the surgeon said I would have to lose.

I started going to OA a few years ago and have had mild success with a 50-60 lb weight loss. At this time I have done much soul searching and have come to the conclusion that I do need the extra tool of WLS to help me on my path.

I decided to post this to help get some of the support that I wil need along the way and also to express some fears that I have.

I have been part of the bear/chub/chaser community since before I came out a long time ago. I fear that if when I have the surgery and lose the weight I will lose what little community I now have, that the only guys that have ever found me attractive will no longer find me attractive, and that now no one will find me attractive.  All though I have decided to have WLS for health reasons and to live a longer life, this is still a great concern for me. 

So lookng for penpals or others in my area to meet and talk with others about life, lgbt issues around WLS and whatever. 

Would love to have an LGBT support group in the area to go to( but that maybe a real pipe dream:))

Hi Shawn,

I am a big ol'femme dyke up in Vancouver, BC and my heart just went out to you when I read your post.

People think that because we live in 'gay positive' cities (whatever that means) that we are all ok and everything is hunky dory in gay land. It isn't, at all, is it? Part of the WLS journey for us will be about being gay, for sure. I don't see how it won't be. Sex and who we love and who loves us and how well and how badly we have been loved is part of how we got here.

As I read your post I had a vision of a smaller healthier you, riding a bike over the Golden Gate with a lovely man, going for a picnic up in the park. How very touristy of me, hey? ha! but I guess this is just me hoping that you will find your peace on this journey, find your health and well being and then find people, maybe even a love or your great love, and then some happiness. That is all any of us can ask for.

And hey, if any guys are *****y or mean or exclude you as you go forward, just remember that they are not worth your time, they are shallow and you don't need that kind of people in your life. The people who will walk with you will join you.

Are there no OA groups for us LGBT folks in San Fran?

I found this meetup group - not sure if gay friendly or not, it likely is though; but maybe a few folks to connect with? http://www.meetup.com/SF-WLS-Group/

good luck!

Tamara