This forum is AWESOME. Any trans folk here?

Hi everyone, I'm JB.

Before sharing my story, I'd like to know if there are any LGBT forum members who view/viewed WLS as an integral part of their gender transition. Hello? Anyone?

I've just started the insurance process: three weeks with dietician, met the surgeon. Up next: support group, then pre-op dietician, sleep study. My insurance requires three months. I've come out to everyone about the gender issue, every step of the way.

Trans wise, I got my GID letter about three years ago, and was on testosterone for the following year -- but my weight sent my "male" health markers into a tailspin (liver enzymes, cholesterol). Doc pulled me off of the T. At least I'd already had a hysto, but no top surgery yet. Weird thing -- the T didn't turn me into that  20-year-old stud I planned to be; it turned me into a 46-year-old fat guy with medical problems!

I've never felt connected to my bio body. Never. That made it really hard to care about it , invest in it or do anything for it.  Instead, I just coped with the fat dysphoria the same way I coped with the gender dysphoria -- being either pissed off, detached, or in denial.

When I had to stop hormones, I got so depressed that I'd waited too long to change anything. Now, I feel like there's hope.

I have a super supportive wife and kids, and a great job with a built-in dietician and athletic trainer (university). My insurance will cover either the RnY or the sleeve. I need to lose 100 lbs. I'm 5'8" and weigh 280. I'll be 50 in May.

Sure would love to hear from other FtMs or MtFs.

JB

Well, I guess that's a resounding "No." Hahahaha!

Yeah, sorry... so few gay people on this forum in general, and so, even less trans.  We can still try to all support each other though!

Ruggie:

Wow, thanks for writing back! I've just returned to check on this forum after all this time, and didn't expect ANYTHING. Instead, lots of wonderful posts!

JB

Maybe we can just talk about feeling disconnected to our bodies. Anyone else feel that way from a young age, just because of your size/self-image?

JB

Getting fat and staying fat allowed me to "disconnect" and be "invisible" after I was a victim of rape and domestic violence. I was just having this discussion with my mom tonight. My fear of getting thin will take away my perceived "invisibility". It scares me to be honest. It is so ironic that I crave it because I am so assertive and outgoing. There is just this disconnect.

Hi Julie. Thanks for writing back!

I know exactly what you're talking about -- I was raped when I was 18, and that had a lot of repercussions in my life. Self-loathing to be sure, and also being pushed into a marriage to the only person I ever confessed my secret to. He accepted me, even though I was "damaged." I thought that was love; he threw it in my face for years.

Once I divorced, came out as gay, then trans, and dealt with all of those issues -- including the rape and subsequent horrible marriage -- I was able to wake up re: my body. Falling in love and figuring out I like sex also made me more aware of my body. But that just started the vicious cycle of having to disconnect all over again, because the truth (that I was a fat GIRL) was just too awful to deal with. But after seven years with my wife now, a new job, a trans support group, therapy, a new job, grad school, etc etc, I finally like so many things about myself that I want to do this for ME. And I'm tired of being invisible.

Let's come out of the shadows, Julie!

JB

Well, I don't know if I'd qualify specifically as one who is trans, but my partner of 21 years is.  She had her grs in 2009, and I have had RNY wls. My surgery was in march, 2012 and I am down 135 from my heaviest weight.  We also completely renovated our house this year...which, btw, was harder on our marriage than any of the other changes that we made over the years! Go figure!

so, I understand to some degree all of your issues, at least through  my connectedness with my partner.

i also didn't like my body obviously, and didn't invest anything into it, except pain.  But now, I will tell you...you have the power to change your reality, and it is both scary and amazing to experience a wholly new life.  I say do it...because the last time I looked, we only live once!

have a great weekend!

amy

Hi Amy! Thanks for writing back, and thanks for being a trans ally! I looked at your pics, and you look FANTASTIC!!!

You are very wise about us having the power to change our reality. I'm just beginning to feel that about myself for the first time. When I started hormone therapy, I felt like that too; giving it up made me think I was wrong, and that I didn't have the power to overcome things I didn't have any control over. How depressing.

I'm getting more and more excited about having the surgery. I've completed my three months, met all of my requirements, and just had my primary care physician forward my package to my surgeons' office. They'll do the the insurance approval package there. I'm hoping to schedule my surgery sometime in September. I've lost 30 lbs since January. My weight then was 285, my heaviest (BMI 43). I've decided on the Gastric Sleeve.

Did your partner transition during your 21 year relationship, or before? My wife attended a support group for a while, and she's been reluctantly supportive. Let's say we disagree about breasts -- on ME! Hope understand how I can be sad about that and joke about that at the same time.

JB

Hey BJ - I am trans (M2F) and had my surgery almost 4.5 years ago.     When I had my surgery I was no in transition yet but always knew it was the right path for me, I began hormones about 1.5 years after surgery and it has caused me to gain some of my weight back (not a lot or enough for me to care though).      I am 6ft 2 and started off at 480 pounds and got down to a low of 167 - which was too small for me.   I bounced up to about 185-190 for a couple of years but recently began having some 'work' done to enhance my body and i am up around 205 pounds and that is a healthy weight for me (at least I think it is).       I was a little younger than you when I had my surgery (I was 36) but I had no issues with stalls or loosing weight but I also had the Duodenal Switch.   I dont come on here much but you can feel free to email me at [email protected] if you want to chat more since there are so few transgendered folks on here.