life and thought updates (long)

I freaked out. I didn't smile, shout out, cry, just said "ok, when do I need to be up there again?". I guess it was one of those moments that makes you realize that you never know how you will react to something. The day is February 25th, which is ironic because that is already a very special anniversary for me, being the day I celebrate my 12 years of love and commitment to my soulmate and lover. I had been so worried about timing and school. This is my last semester for my associates degree, and big changes hinge on my completion in May. We are set to move to our future forever home town of Eugene this summer, so I can work a year before applying for the U of O. I will be required to stay in the hospital two nights, and then stay in the Boise area for two more nights because of the distance of my house. I was very concerned about how long my wife would be with me while I am up there and what to do with our daughter and my sweet puppy if she is not home with them, but am releaved to have found the best option to rent a guest quarter in the hospital and just have her stay the day of surgery and then return to get me on the day I can come home. I feel much better about her staying home with the girls and taking care of the house, than being in Boise to watch me sleep. The hospital has wifi, so we can talk when I am awake. I really feel the need to write a list of everything I need to get (Ninja, baby size spoon and fork, acceptable food for the first 4 weeks) so I can feel prepared. Also, I waisted my 6 months wait only losing 15 lbs and gaining back 3, so I am going to lose as much as I can before surgery day. This should not be that hard, since I do well with specific goals. I would like to go into surgery at 245, which means I need to lose 17. Losing short term through logging food has never been a problem, the difference this time is when I typically start to fail (the end of February) I will gain my tool and this will be the time when I am successful losing all of it and keeping it off. I am taking two phys ed classes, zumba and pilates, scheduling me for exercise 50 min a day Monday through Thursday. I will fill the other three days with eliptical use and would like to get a rotation of good free weight exercises to do every day. I am hoping that this will really boost my loss, and help gain strength and keep muscle under the skin to decrease the effects of loose skin. My doctor does not require a preop liquid diet, but I anticipate doing this anyway. I look forward to this summer and the activities and changes that will come with it! We have already decided that after the move, we will reley heavilly on biking, and public transit for getting around since Eugene has an amazing biking culture. I also would like to start kayaking on smooth water and get us hiking as much as we can. We have already talked about how my surgery will mean positive changes for all of us. My wife would like to get into shape, and could lose around 50 lbs, which she will lose easily with a few changes. Her weight always comes off easy if she is just a little more active and doesnt eat to many unhealthy snacks. Our daughter needs to create healthy habits and I think she will be much happier with us all being more active together. She should lose some lbs, but needs to gain muscle and get toned more than anything. She has been on her school danceteam, and would like to continue it next year. I fear that if she is going to be succefull in being on the dance team in her new school, she will have to make those changes so she can do the more difficult dances that require upper boddy strength and needs more flexability. I think that is all of my mental organization for now. My special dates of the year that I keep wondering where my weight will be are: my 33rd birthday (6 weeks after post op), graduation and the party I have scheduled at an amuesmen****er park (14 weeks post op), the move (20 weeks post op aprox.),halloween (36 weeks post op) and new years (45 weeks post op). I have started making guesses of where I will be at each one, knowing that I can not hold fast to any of them, simply playing the "what if" game.

Tia,

All I have to say is that post-op I had such a major rush of peace and joy knowing I'd made the right decision.

I look down at my shaved and punctured belly and SMILE (and show it to anyone who will look cause it's kinda weird/gross).

Take care,

Kirk

You have a great outlook. I like your goals! And my surgery is the day after yours. I'm in that planning mode, too.