ISO WLS Gay Bears!

Not cruising...much...lol! Actually I would like to talk to other WLS bears and how you are finding the community reaction to your decision to have surgery, and guys' response when you express concern for their health. Apparently body hair and masculine attitude are no longer the raisons d'etre (french too twinky?) for the Bear community, but chubbies and their chasers rule the cave!

Yeah this is just kind of werid to me.... I used to identify as being a bear.... and now I definitely don't.  Not sure that I fit in any pigeon-hole anymore. 

I find the average bear doesn't like to discuss WLS because of the following:
1) They are overweight, typically, and so....
2) They feel they shouldn't be overweight, typically, and so...
3) Telling someone you're fixing your weight calls them out on their own, a little bit.  Also,
4) They imagine you moving away from their ideal body shape

 Please visit our Manitenance Group. It's never too early!

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/bariatric-weight-loss-surgery-maintenance

Uhhh.... alright, nevermind then.

Woof!
 
I am 3 1/2 years out of surgery. From my experience I can say that people were supportive during my surgery and immediate post-op months. For me, I have drifted from many of these friends. It seemed that all I had in common with many of these folks was being fat and hairy. Once my weight dropped, I found that we had little in common. What also happened to me is that I became a very active cyclist. I developed a new set of friends who I cycle with many times a week. I find that I have much more in common with them than my bear friends. I don't ignore my bear friends. I just find that when given a choice between a bear event and a cycling event or social night out with my cycling friends, I will choose the cycling friends. I guess the change was not in my friends but in my persona view of friendship.

Lately I have found myself wondering if I have been a bad friend to my bear friends. Have I ignored them. I wonder if they think that I have snobbed them. So, my perspective is different than yours at this time. I wonder if other longer term folks found their friendships evolving with some friends just sort of disappearing.

Tom

Please visit our Maintenance Group and share your success!

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/bariatric-weight-loss-surgery-maintenance

 I have a bear friend who does my flattop...he is the only other Bear I know who is having WLS...

I actually  was not involved in the "bear" community until AFTER I had WLS. I have made some close friends from that community. I am not big into the scene. Being married it is different. I have found that the community was welcoming and I met my husband and mine best friend from Bear 411. I am still active on that site and it has been a way for me to meet guys in my area. I actually met a guy on here in 07...I then found him on bear....I helped him move here from Albany Georgia...and then his husband from Atlanta. ......so there ya go...  

I'm glad this question was asked because i've been wondering how this is going to be for me as well.  I'm not so much in the "bear" community but certainly part of the "Chub/Chaser" community.

Here in dallas we have a group of chubs/chasers that get together monthly from St Patricks day all the way through Thanksgiving for hanging out, board games, pot luck, and swimming, etc...I'm pretty well known in the group for my cooking and was deemed "Miss Arkansas At Large" LOL because i'm previously from arkansas!

I enjoy the group and the friendship so much and was kinda nervous when i told them i was having sugery...I think some people just think i'll gain it all back but my closest friends have been pretty supportive so far...The dating part of it has been kinda scary...so far any chaser i've told about having the surgery has been instantly kinda stand-offish...

I figure that I'm just going to try to remember that my future husband will love me for who I am, what i look like, and the healthier body I will have....*looks around for that said future husband*  herrooooooo is you der?  LOL

My experience has been mixed.   Some people call me "skinny" now, some dont recognize me, others just didnt care one way or another.

I did lose a few friends after my WLS but I think that was because our social life really just revolved around food and drinking and I was moving in another direction.

I'm changing my life, making things happen.  Some people are awesome.  Some aren't.

I still like to get woofed at though :)