Noticing who is noticing my weight loss (or not)...
Since surgery I have lost about 33 pounds; from my heaviest weight last year, I've lost 46 pounds. Not as much as some of you all out there, but I'll definitely take it. But, I'm kind of amused at who notices my weight loss, and who does not. Or maybe I should say, who actually SAYS something about it and who doesn't.
In my (very) unscientific poll, I've found that straight women are the ones most likely to compliment me on losing weight. Second are gay men. Straight guys don't say a word (at least not the ones in my office, where most of the straight boys in my life tend to reside). And lesbians haven't uttered a peep. Major bummer to me, of course, especially one gal in particular whom I was REALLY hoping would notice. Took her to dinner last night and not a word. Damn.
Not that I was expecting her or anyone else to tear my clothes off, or pass out, or roll out a red carpet and launch the hot air balloons. But geez, does it kill people to pay someone a compliment? Maybe it does, at least someone who has never been overweight. Any other folks have the same experiences? And ladies, do YOU compliment another lesbian who has obviously dropped some pounds?
I know that achieving weight loss is for ME first and foremost. But I plead guilty to really enjoying it when someone notices my efforts!
In my (very) unscientific poll, I've found that straight women are the ones most likely to compliment me on losing weight. Second are gay men. Straight guys don't say a word (at least not the ones in my office, where most of the straight boys in my life tend to reside). And lesbians haven't uttered a peep. Major bummer to me, of course, especially one gal in particular whom I was REALLY hoping would notice. Took her to dinner last night and not a word. Damn.
Not that I was expecting her or anyone else to tear my clothes off, or pass out, or roll out a red carpet and launch the hot air balloons. But geez, does it kill people to pay someone a compliment? Maybe it does, at least someone who has never been overweight. Any other folks have the same experiences? And ladies, do YOU compliment another lesbian who has obviously dropped some pounds?
I know that achieving weight loss is for ME first and foremost. But I plead guilty to really enjoying it when someone notices my efforts!
Thanks for replying! My ego occasionally rattles its cage and wants to be noticed. I have to feed it now and again so it doesn't get totally out of control! It will be interesting what happens when I see a few folks I haven't seen since way before surgery; that should be in the next couple of weeks. And yes, I've only come down a couple sizes in my jeans so it may not be that noticeable to some. To lesbians who keep their heads up their own a** about everything except a woman w/ a perfect body and big bank account (lots of those here in ATL), then it won't mean a thing! Those, I just need to forget about.
Well, they could be the kind of people who don't comment on other people's weight. Or it could be they are really oblivious to other folks. Or they are people who don't compliment others. Or or or or...could be a million things- the fact of the matter is, it doesn't matter.
Because eventually, the comments stop altogether. Once people get used to seeing you how you are, they just see you. Which is a good thing right?
I have a friend who I knew before her WLS and now 3yrs later, she looks totally different, but I can't even remember what she used to look like. She just looks like herself (which is FANTASTIC BTW).
So try not to get caught up on what others think, instead try to focus on how much better you feel- or the things you can do. Or the goals that you're working towards. Those things are MUCH more rewarding than any of those external reinforcers!
Good Luck!
:Danni
Because eventually, the comments stop altogether. Once people get used to seeing you how you are, they just see you. Which is a good thing right?
I have a friend who I knew before her WLS and now 3yrs later, she looks totally different, but I can't even remember what she used to look like. She just looks like herself (which is FANTASTIC BTW).
So try not to get caught up on what others think, instead try to focus on how much better you feel- or the things you can do. Or the goals that you're working towards. Those things are MUCH more rewarding than any of those external reinforcers!
Good Luck!
:Danni
:Danni >>>AIDS/LifeCycle 10 & 11 Finisher: 545miles on the bike in 7 days <<<
HW390/SW340/CW 208/GW170
I agree with Danni. Some people con't comment on others appearance and weight for lots of different reasons.
I feel you though. As we start the weight loss journey, it is nice to hear from others that we are doing a good job with our weight loss goals. As a human, we all want to feel attractive and good about ourselves. And yes, I if I know someone has openly let me and/or others know that they are setting weight loss goals, I pay them a compliment.
Leslie
I feel you though. As we start the weight loss journey, it is nice to hear from others that we are doing a good job with our weight loss goals. As a human, we all want to feel attractive and good about ourselves. And yes, I if I know someone has openly let me and/or others know that they are setting weight loss goals, I pay them a compliment.
Leslie
Thanks Leslie. You are exactly right, it is human nature to want compliments/acceptance/kudos for hard work. But really, nobody understands exactly how hard all of this is (pre-op AND post-op****il they themselves have been through it. I suppose I need to cut others some slack and just follow Danni's advice, think about ME and my health/feelings first. Tough to do at times, though (as I said in another reply, my ego gets a bit rowdy now and again and I have to indulge it...just a little).
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