I missed you all

Hello OH family, it's been quite awhile since i posted, and for that i'm truly sorry. Life has been keeping me soo busy and i guess i didn't want to face accountablilty for me screwing up. I'm here and wanted to reconnect with you guys and hopefully meet some new friends to share my journey with. This year and 3 months has flown by. I'm currently down to 160 pounds and feeling pretty good about my weight. Still really haven't faced my food demons fully but it's better then it was pre-op. I definatley still see a fat person when i look in the mirror at my body, i knew it wasn't going to make me have 6 pack abs and i'm ok with it, but i just wish i had time and a training partner to motivate me to lift weights. I currently work overnights and my eating schedule is WAY off wack. I am only getting 5 hours of sleep a day (and that's a good day), but am truly greatful for my gift of WLS, and wouldn't trade it for the world. I'm having trouble in my relationship with my gf because of her lack of support and me dealing with my bisexuality. I don't want to be unfaithful but i still have needs. I guess it is what it is for now and hopefully one day, will work itself out. Hope everyone is meeting there goals and i hope to share knowledge and offer support to anyone that needs it. Glad to be back!!!!!! 

Joe,

I'm so excited to see you posting again. I've wondered how you were doing and have missed your posts.

Being down 160 lbs is fantastic!! I think you're doing great. Very sorry to hear about your food demons and can certainly relate with your "fat person" image. I've reached my goal weight but my mind still thinks of myself as a fat guy. Not sure how long it's going to take for my mind to catch up with my body. But, I "self talk" to myself everyday and try to and repair my mind.

I, too, have a hectic work schedule. I don't make it to the gym as often as I'd like. But, I've decided that it's OK. I weigh myself morning and night to make sure I'm staying within my goal weight. As long as I'm maintaining, then I cut myself some slack on the exercise.

I am concerned about your sleep. Only getting 5 hours per night is not nearly enough. Lack of sleep is a contributing factor to weight gain and hope you're able to adjust your schedule for more sleep.

But, what about sleep apena? At my current home I no longer need my CPAP machine (lower altitude and great air quality). But, at my "real" home I still need the CPAP machine. That home is a higher altitude and the air quality is marginal. So, I need need my sleep aid at that location. Please, make sure your 5 hours is at least quality sleep.

On the relationship issue, I can only hope that you're able to work on the issues. Your kids are so beautiful and I'm sure they are the love of your life. I suspect you're very sensitive to their needs and want the relationship to remain strong for their benefit.

I also applaud your statement that you don't want to be unfaithful to your girlfriend. That's a wonderful goal and something that's important for your family. But, at some point, I think you've got to address the issue. I don't understand bisexuality since I'm more of a "black and white" person. I've always viewed myself as gay and can't imagine having feelings for both sexes.

So, since you're bisexual, what acommodations has your gf made? Do you have some kind of agreement on your sexual life? Have you agreed on an "open" relationship where you can satisfy your gay needs while keeping your hetrosexual relations excluive to her?

IMHO, that type of agreement is essential to your sexual good health. How can you be bisexual but not have sexual activity outside the gf relationship??

As for my weight loss journey, I'm doing great!! I've met my weight loss goal and am now in maintenance mode. However, I've found that I'm dealing with late dumping syndrome. I've got to watch my carb intake or the body starts shutting down and it makes me fall asleep. This surgery is forcing me to maintain a more healthy eating lifestyle.

Hope to see more posts from you in the future.

Onefinger it's good to hear from you again. That's great that your down to your goal weight, and i too hope that one day we both get over our fat guy image. It drives me nuts constantly thinking about still having stretch marks and excess skin and its sad knowing i can probably never afford to get it removed, but i'm hoping that one day i'll just be ok with myself and how far i've come. Being bisexual and in a relationship with kids is really difficult. She knows and she's says it's ok to have a one night stand but i am looking for a friend with benefits and i know she is afraid i will leave her, but i wouldn't  for many reasons. I also get dumping syndrome when i try to eat bread or sweets. I feel really tired and have to sleep, i know the solution to not make it happen but i am not going to cut out bread completely. I will definatley post again and hope you will definatley keep in touch.    

Do you know of Dan Savage?  He's written/spoken quite a bit about how to deal with the intricacies of bisexual relationships, like what you were mentioning above.  I can't recall a specific article, but I've listened to a lot of his podcasts, and issues like yours come up once a month or so....  

Sorry to not be more helpful!

JOE!!!  Honey! I've missed you. I was thinking about you the other day.  Glad to hear you're doing ok.  About the fat boy image... yeah... body image issues are really common.  I have a lot of excess skin around my panni (hiding my goods of course) along with bat wing arms from hell and for the longest time whenever I looked in the mirror (clothed or naked) I hated what I saw.  That's all changed cuz I'm preggers now! Yippee.  I still have the excess skin but it's filling up with baby now.  I won't look preggers for a few more months, but it's all good. 

Anyway... back to you... Being bi is not easy.  I lived a bi lifestyle for a long time myself.  When I met my wife, she had a REALLY hard time with my being bi due to her previous 2 gf's leaving her for a man.  When I'm in a relationship I don't feel the need to dabble the other way.  So I'm a little different than you in that regard.  But I get it your struggles.  You have needs and your gf is nervous about them.  Rough... have you 2 thought about couples counseling?  I think that might be helpful for you both - esp if you find a bi-friendly therapist. 

Get more sleep... 'nuff said on that!  Honey... you're doing just fine.  All of us have struggles on the other side of getting physically healthy.  The brain and emotions take a LOT longer to catch up to where our body is.  This is a life-long journey.  Are you going to a local WLS support group?  If not... find a post-op group (if you can) near you.  TRUST!   Take care!

Maryn!!!!!! CONGRATS!!!!! It's really good to hear from you and even better to hear how great you are doing and that you are preggers. I actually wanted to gain some weight to fill out the excess, but im afraid of not stopping once i fill in the excess, it's a tricky situation. We talk about my bisexuality once in awhile and there is this underlying understanding, but no real meeting of the minds. I guess it's one of those things that will have to work itself out unfortunatley. I was going to a WLS and a support group but now my insurance got dropped and i am moving to buy a new home soon, so hopefully will get some insurance and find a support group when i move. Take care, and once again CONGRATS!!!!!!! 

omg!  don't gain weight to fill in the excess skin!  bad bad bad idea!  Just find a good compression garment so it doesn't really show.  purposefully gaining weight for us ex-fattys is a really dangerous idea!

good luck with the move and finding a new support group.  i'm sure it will all work out.

Thanks

Joe, It's niceto see you back. You always had such good positive posts and outlook on your new life. I am glad to see you are doing so good. -- Tom

Hey Tom, Good to see you!!! Hope all is well your well your way.