relationship

I am in a relationship with my partner of 4 years, when I decided in June to  look in to WLS she was total against it and still is, am being told am lazy I need to excise and diet, I need to go running jogging and stop taking the easy way out. I think it is totally wrong for her not to support me. I know I will have to make the best decisions for me. Any advice will be grateful. thanks 

 Hello.  Welcome.  I had the same issue with my GF.  She said I could do it on my own and I just needed to set my mind to it.  After reading and gathering, I made my decission for myself.  I knew I wan't able to loose the weight I've lost on my own.  With all the health risks of being overweight, FNY was the best for me.  I don't regret my decission at all.  BTW I did get rid of all the "negative people" you go thru enough changes before and after surgery, I felt I didn't want the negative people getting in my way.

Good Luck,

Sandy

thank you so much sandy, you are so right

I had a non-supportive partner too, and eventually I had to break up with her because it got to the point that she was trying to sabotage my weight loss.

I hope yours doesn't come to that, and hopefully if you educate her about the surgery it won't. Explain as much as you can about the surgery and maybe go to a support group or two with her, so she can see that this is NOT the easy way out.

Having RNY was one of the best decisions that I ever made, and I hope that you are able to make decisions for yourself that improve your health too!

Good Luck
:Danni

thank you so much Danni, I ask her this morning why don't she support me and all she keep saying is you dont need it. you need to workout, i try that lost 30 pound gain 10 back i have high blood pressure broader line diabetes, because i lost the 30 pound the diabetes did go away now my knees and back hurt am 5ft 2in 230 pounds, my family history have diabetes high blood pressure heart disease my dad died of cardiac problems at 52 due to his diabetes he had an heart attack at 50. I am just tied and its sad i cried yesterday she said some real mean things to me, i was never a fat child i gain weight after having my children. i just want my body back. before i had kids i was a 7/8 now am a 19/20 and i can fit into a 18 depending on the jeans,  yesterday she said  why you want to do this and you might lose you hair. that's my fear do not want to lose my beautiful locs(dreads). i told her i will explain all the pro and cons to her she said she don't care i don't need that dam surgery. so i will have to make the best decisions for me.

Really? Temporary hair loss?!?! That's the big deal??? I mean it's hair, it grows back- and it's not like all your hair falls of and your bald. It just gets a bit thinner for a short while, then comes back (as long as your getting in your protein..).

Sounds like, she is feeling threatened by you making healthy choices. It seems to all be coming from a place of fear for herself, not out of love and compassion for you. Is she overweight too? She may be afraid that once you feel good about yourself that you'll leave her. But if she keeps pushing you away like this...it's not going to help things.

You deserve to be healthy, you deserve to be happy, and you deserve to have people in your life who support you. I hope you can find a good support network through friends, family and your medical support groups because it's going to be a challenge with your partner.
:D

Danni yes i love my hair lol .... you know what my mother and a friend of mines said the same thing maybe she think i would leave her once i lose the weight, and yes she is over weight to, am just a little bigger than her.  the only person who support me is my mom the 2 friends i did tell said its up to me do what makes me happy, but i still think it  is a hard challenge when the person that claims they love you is not trying to support you, i did not include her with any of my appointments because she threaten to tell them that they are worsting their time because i don't need the surgery. If are when i get approve by my HMO i am not going to tell her my surgery date my mom said she will come with me and i know if i ask my sister in law she will be there. thank again Dan god bless

Peeches . First from the words of my dear grandmother (there is no love like self love ,love your self first and the rest will come). My partner of 7 years was against me having rny ,so i asked him to come to my first drs appt. after that alot of things changed for him. Lucky for me he never told Me i was taking the easy way or being lazy. RNY is not the easy way you still need to go to the gym and work out the good thing is you will be able to . Gene loved me when i was big and he still loves me now im very lucky i guess. the love that we have has always been there .  not only does he support me he helps me all the time .
 i also did this for health reason, did not care that i was big man . i has to sleep with  c-pap, had high blood pressure , had to give my self shots .3 times a day .and so on . i know take no meds at all . went from a size 52 pants to a 36, 4xl shirt to a large , i do drag at Halloween . this may help my dress last year was a size 24 this years 16. bra was 52 , this years 36.
 best of luck . love yourself its the best thing you can do . do what you need to do for you and all the pieces will fall where they belong . best of luck Love TROY

Hey Peeches,
You need to do what's right for you. I had a non-supportive partner and I tried the whole let me explain it to you all the pros cons ect. It didn't matter what I said, unless I said you are right I won't have the surgery she wasn't hearing anything I said. I ultimately had to do what was best for me health wise and have the surgery. That was over 2 years ago, and I am down from 292 to 146-148 and feel great. I did end up breaking up with her because I couldn't committ to a healthy lifestyle while someone was trying to subtely sabotage me. It hurt like hell to walk away but I did and I started dating again and in August I will marry the true love of my life. You need to do what is right for you and eventually the rest will fall into place.
~~Erin