Checking In - Almost Four Months (June 28)
Hello Everyone,
Sorry for not being so present on the boards. Life has been crazy to say the least! I did have my dissertation proposal accepted and I'm in the process of IRB approval now. My comps are this Thursday and Friday, and I'm wound so tight you couldn't pull a pin out of my butt. We've been going through an internal review at work about our residency and the oversight committee has been pretty critical. My partner and I are going through a rough patch...nothing insurmountable and we're talking through it and going to a therapist. As you can see, it's a little stressful for me right now and I have days where I feel like I'm going to pieces. I'm getting through it one step at a time, mostly thanks to the changes that are going on in me, both physically and emotionally.
First the physical changes. I'm right at having lost 100 pounds! I can't believe it. I'm in 38' jeans and feel better than I have in ages. I haven't taken insulin for almost five months and I have just come off of my blood pressure medicine. Pretty soon I hope to come off of my medicine for cholesterol as well. All is well with the immune system too. I keep getting great reports from all my docs.
Emotionally, I'm changing as well. I knew this would come but I wasn't expecting it so quickly. I have a sense of self esteem now that I didn't know I would have. I struggle with body image; I'll never have a body that most people would want to see unclothed. But I look good now. And I feel good about myself. Now that I'm trying to put it into words it's coming out awkward but it's all aligned in my head. :)
Anyway, that's enough from me for now. I hope to be by more regularly after this week.
Hugs to you all.
Sincerely,
Danny
Sorry for not being so present on the boards. Life has been crazy to say the least! I did have my dissertation proposal accepted and I'm in the process of IRB approval now. My comps are this Thursday and Friday, and I'm wound so tight you couldn't pull a pin out of my butt. We've been going through an internal review at work about our residency and the oversight committee has been pretty critical. My partner and I are going through a rough patch...nothing insurmountable and we're talking through it and going to a therapist. As you can see, it's a little stressful for me right now and I have days where I feel like I'm going to pieces. I'm getting through it one step at a time, mostly thanks to the changes that are going on in me, both physically and emotionally.
First the physical changes. I'm right at having lost 100 pounds! I can't believe it. I'm in 38' jeans and feel better than I have in ages. I haven't taken insulin for almost five months and I have just come off of my blood pressure medicine. Pretty soon I hope to come off of my medicine for cholesterol as well. All is well with the immune system too. I keep getting great reports from all my docs.
Emotionally, I'm changing as well. I knew this would come but I wasn't expecting it so quickly. I have a sense of self esteem now that I didn't know I would have. I struggle with body image; I'll never have a body that most people would want to see unclothed. But I look good now. And I feel good about myself. Now that I'm trying to put it into words it's coming out awkward but it's all aligned in my head. :)
Anyway, that's enough from me for now. I hope to be by more regularly after this week.
Hugs to you all.
Sincerely,
Danny
Congrats Danny! You are doing an awesome job! The physical changes and the emotional ones, too -- I'm sure that is both exciting and a little scary. But, the fact that you're getting healthier every day means you can deal better w/ all the stress in your life, from comps to couples issues. I'm sorry to hear that you and your partner are having a rough spot, and I hope you can get through it quickly with counseling.
You were one of the ones who helped me tremendously this summer when I was just about at the breaking point from stress. Can't ever thank you enough! What got me through (in addition to support from you & others on this forum) was realizing that it all came down to ME, and I needed to do what I had to do in order to get myself better physically and emotionally. That involved perserverance and never giving up. You are a kind, caring and obvioulsy very intelligent man. There's no doubt in my mind that you can win all of your battles! As for body image, well, you and I both know that it is what's on the inside that counts, but don't sell yourself short: you never know when someone might be thinking, "Hmm, I wouldn't mind seeing Danny naked!"
(At least it's good motivation to help get through a tough workout!).
Take care of yourself and if you ever need to talk just PM me, and I'll give you my contact info.
You were one of the ones who helped me tremendously this summer when I was just about at the breaking point from stress. Can't ever thank you enough! What got me through (in addition to support from you & others on this forum) was realizing that it all came down to ME, and I needed to do what I had to do in order to get myself better physically and emotionally. That involved perserverance and never giving up. You are a kind, caring and obvioulsy very intelligent man. There's no doubt in my mind that you can win all of your battles! As for body image, well, you and I both know that it is what's on the inside that counts, but don't sell yourself short: you never know when someone might be thinking, "Hmm, I wouldn't mind seeing Danny naked!"
(At least it's good motivation to help get through a tough workout!).Take care of yourself and if you ever need to talk just PM me, and I'll give you my contact info.
Hi Danny,
Wow...can we all just say WOW...
I have been reflecting myself on where I was a year ago and some of our early conversations too...Its really awesome to be able to see where you have been in relation to your journey. It also helps me stay humble and remember where I have been...
I remember your early discussions on here about your plan of actions related to insurance/qaulifications, and pre, pre and pre tests or approvals and how at the time it seem like it would never happen. There was also times where you weren't sure you wanted it to...but look at where you are now..
Its funny how we sort of grow with or through this process. Remember your worries before, during and now? They really help us to get in touch with who we are and that we have a very real relationship with food.
When I come out about the surgery I tell people that the weight loss from a phyiscal perspective is only half our journey, hell maybe only a 3rd of it. The epiphany of this process happens most every day and its related to the mental and spiritual pieces of this and people just dont have a clue to how its going to affect your mentality.
I salute you and thank you for your friendship...Keep the faith...
Hugs
G
Wow...can we all just say WOW...
I have been reflecting myself on where I was a year ago and some of our early conversations too...Its really awesome to be able to see where you have been in relation to your journey. It also helps me stay humble and remember where I have been...
I remember your early discussions on here about your plan of actions related to insurance/qaulifications, and pre, pre and pre tests or approvals and how at the time it seem like it would never happen. There was also times where you weren't sure you wanted it to...but look at where you are now..
Its funny how we sort of grow with or through this process. Remember your worries before, during and now? They really help us to get in touch with who we are and that we have a very real relationship with food.
When I come out about the surgery I tell people that the weight loss from a phyiscal perspective is only half our journey, hell maybe only a 3rd of it. The epiphany of this process happens most every day and its related to the mental and spiritual pieces of this and people just dont have a clue to how its going to affect your mentality.
I salute you and thank you for your friendship...Keep the faith...
Hugs
G
OneFinger
on 10/26/11 3:23 pm
on 10/26/11 3:23 pm
Danny, don't know why I didn't see this post sooner. You are doing FANTASTIC!!
Kudos on the 100 lbs loss. That's a major milestone. But, in light of everything else going on in your life, it's beyond amazing.
The emotional changes after surgery can be dramatic. This is major surgery and it really throws the harmones out of wack. But, it sounds like you're handling things well. For me, the changes have been very positive and I can't believe the difference when I reflect back on my mental health 5 years ago.
Congrats on your achievements. Hope you continue with the great success you've had in the past few months.
Kudos on the 100 lbs loss. That's a major milestone. But, in light of everything else going on in your life, it's beyond amazing.
The emotional changes after surgery can be dramatic. This is major surgery and it really throws the harmones out of wack. But, it sounds like you're handling things well. For me, the changes have been very positive and I can't believe the difference when I reflect back on my mental health 5 years ago.
Congrats on your achievements. Hope you continue with the great success you've had in the past few months.
High Weight = 310 Surgery Weight = 300 Dr's Goal = 200 My Goal = 190 
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