Help me build my plan
Hi, I'm new to this forum and have not had my surgery yet. I had scheduled the lap band earlier this year and had to postpone due to the fact that my best friend was dying. It just didn't make sense to do it at such a painful time. Additionally, my lovely wife has not been on board with my decision until very recently. So I am starting the process and again and this time considering VSG.
What would help me the most right now is to make an actual plan for success. It would also help my wife a lot, so that she can better understand what she can do to help me. My question to you is: Can you share some of the things that you found most helpful to you? I especially want to better understand what types of food I will have the best chance with. Also, can you tell me what forms of support from others helped you the most?
I hope to borrow your ideas to build my plan and help myself and my family feel ready to begin this journey.
Thank you in advance! - Evelyn
What would help me the most right now is to make an actual plan for success. It would also help my wife a lot, so that she can better understand what she can do to help me. My question to you is: Can you share some of the things that you found most helpful to you? I especially want to better understand what types of food I will have the best chance with. Also, can you tell me what forms of support from others helped you the most?
I hope to borrow your ideas to build my plan and help myself and my family feel ready to begin this journey.
Thank you in advance! - Evelyn
Evelyn,
Not exactly sure what you are looking for, and don't have any experience with a VSG. Sorry about your friend dying and that your wife has some concerns about your surgery. My reccomendations would be to 1) find out as much info about the WLS and the surgeons and what life will be like afterwards, 2) make sure your wife is involved with the process so she knows what is happening (it is the unknown that is scary) and check out the board for VSG (if there is one). Support groups can be very helpful. Best of luck as you move forward...maybe some of the 'coupled' folks can give some ideas about the wifey poo!
deb366
Not exactly sure what you are looking for, and don't have any experience with a VSG. Sorry about your friend dying and that your wife has some concerns about your surgery. My reccomendations would be to 1) find out as much info about the WLS and the surgeons and what life will be like afterwards, 2) make sure your wife is involved with the process so she knows what is happening (it is the unknown that is scary) and check out the board for VSG (if there is one). Support groups can be very helpful. Best of luck as you move forward...maybe some of the 'coupled' folks can give some ideas about the wifey poo!
deb366
Currently 125 pounds
Highly recommend VSG over lap band, but then most people will tell you to get any surgery in place of a lap band. The reversibility is appealing but it's got the lowest success rate and highest failure rate. Check out the VSG board here, there's a really great FAQ on the first or second page. Look for e post by Subliminate.
For how surgery changes will affect you mentally, I really recommend "Obesity Surgery: Stories of Altered Lives".
Your dietician will help you compose a food plan, but there is minimal alteration as to what you can digest, for most people. In weight loss, you'll avoid carbs and focus on protein. In maintainence, you can add some carbs back.
Again, check out the VSG forum, really friendly folks there. Also, feel free to message me with specific questions. I did quite a bit if research and had my surgery about six weeks ago.
Is your wife against lap band or WLS in general? And what are her concerns?
For how surgery changes will affect you mentally, I really recommend "Obesity Surgery: Stories of Altered Lives".
Your dietician will help you compose a food plan, but there is minimal alteration as to what you can digest, for most people. In weight loss, you'll avoid carbs and focus on protein. In maintainence, you can add some carbs back.
Again, check out the VSG forum, really friendly folks there. Also, feel free to message me with specific questions. I did quite a bit if research and had my surgery about six weeks ago.
Is your wife against lap band or WLS in general? And what are her concerns?
Heaviest weight: 310 pounds (Male, 5'10")
Thank you so much. Your feedback is really helpful. I will definitely look up the book you recommend.
To tell you a little bit more, I made the decision to pursue WLS close to 2 years ago and started the process. Unfortunately, my wife and I were experiencing very difficult marital problems. I started the process without her involvement because she was simply not in a position to offer me her support when we were in such a bad place as a couple. We've continued to work extremely hard to repair our relationship and the good news is that we are seeing progress. We are raising 2 beautiful daughters and know that they deserve the best family we can offer them.
Although now she tells me she is on board, she does have a number of anxieties about it. I've provided her with every possible material I could get my hands on and even attended a 3 hour presentation by the surgeons. Namely, she is afraid that after the first year or two of weight loss I will start to slide and eventually gain it back. I understand where her fears are coming from and want to ease her as much as possible. At the same time, however, it feels like she's already assuming that I cannot do this. Emotionally, this is really hard because I know that what I want very badly is to know that I have her unconditional support, for good or for bad. I plan to work really hard at succeeding but I, of course, cannot give her or anyone else a complete guarantee. I am only as human as the next person. I know that this is her "stuff" bringing up my "stuff." but it sure makes it hard.
Sorry, didn't mean to ramble or to ask for a psych eval - LOL! Anyways, that's what's happening.
To tell you a little bit more, I made the decision to pursue WLS close to 2 years ago and started the process. Unfortunately, my wife and I were experiencing very difficult marital problems. I started the process without her involvement because she was simply not in a position to offer me her support when we were in such a bad place as a couple. We've continued to work extremely hard to repair our relationship and the good news is that we are seeing progress. We are raising 2 beautiful daughters and know that they deserve the best family we can offer them.
Although now she tells me she is on board, she does have a number of anxieties about it. I've provided her with every possible material I could get my hands on and even attended a 3 hour presentation by the surgeons. Namely, she is afraid that after the first year or two of weight loss I will start to slide and eventually gain it back. I understand where her fears are coming from and want to ease her as much as possible. At the same time, however, it feels like she's already assuming that I cannot do this. Emotionally, this is really hard because I know that what I want very badly is to know that I have her unconditional support, for good or for bad. I plan to work really hard at succeeding but I, of course, cannot give her or anyone else a complete guarantee. I am only as human as the next person. I know that this is her "stuff" bringing up my "stuff." but it sure makes it hard.
Sorry, didn't mean to ramble or to ask for a psych eval - LOL! Anyways, that's what's happening.
OneFinger
on 8/14/11 1:34 pm
on 8/14/11 1:34 pm
I had RNY surgery so I really can't address the VSG issue. But, I'd sure recommend VSG over lap band. I've heard too many horror stories about the temporary weight loss with lap band. I think RNY or VSG is a much better way to go.
With my RNY journey, the docs had me on a no-carb and high protein diet. I didn't have breads, potatoes, rice, pasta, etc. for the first 6-9 months. Once I met my goal weight (about 6 months) I've started slow re-introducing those foods.
During the weight loss phase, my docs wanted my body to go into ketosis and I measured my ketosis level a couple times per week. I firmly believe that was the key to my rapid (and safe) weight loss.
During weight loss I tried to get 80 gms of protein per day. This came from meats, nuts, protein powder, protein bars, etc. Didn't really measure calories but concentrated more on protein in-take and keeping my meals to 3-4 oz per meal.
My docs also cautioned against "drinking" my calories. They discouraged the protein drinks because they usually don't satisfy the hunger.
Even now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm not eating like I was before weight loss surgery. I am eating a lot more salads, few breads, no rice, and very lean meats.
I just got back from a vacation and really ate a fairly "normal" diet. I didn't gain a single pound. While my portions were much smaller than before WLS, the variety of foods I can eat is surpisingly "normal". I still cannot handle sugars and I easily get sugar "highs".
Hope that info helps.
With my RNY journey, the docs had me on a no-carb and high protein diet. I didn't have breads, potatoes, rice, pasta, etc. for the first 6-9 months. Once I met my goal weight (about 6 months) I've started slow re-introducing those foods.
During the weight loss phase, my docs wanted my body to go into ketosis and I measured my ketosis level a couple times per week. I firmly believe that was the key to my rapid (and safe) weight loss.
During weight loss I tried to get 80 gms of protein per day. This came from meats, nuts, protein powder, protein bars, etc. Didn't really measure calories but concentrated more on protein in-take and keeping my meals to 3-4 oz per meal.
My docs also cautioned against "drinking" my calories. They discouraged the protein drinks because they usually don't satisfy the hunger.
Even now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm not eating like I was before weight loss surgery. I am eating a lot more salads, few breads, no rice, and very lean meats.
I just got back from a vacation and really ate a fairly "normal" diet. I didn't gain a single pound. While my portions were much smaller than before WLS, the variety of foods I can eat is surpisingly "normal". I still cannot handle sugars and I easily get sugar "highs".
Hope that info helps.
High Weight = 310 Surgery Weight = 300 Dr's Goal = 200 My Goal = 190 
Evelyn, Success may be different for each of us. Some tips I would offer you on defining success...
1. It's not all about pounds lost. Don't just set weight loss goals.
2. Prepare for the good and the bad. It's not a smooth slide down the weight scale.
3. Learn and adapt from your failures. Don't beat yourself up. It does no good.
4. Follow the rules and guidelines. It's that simple. The more you wander. The more you are apt to fail.
5. Everyone is different and take advice with a grain of salt. There are many experts online but they are not your nutritionist or surgeon.
6. You got to celebrate a lot. Little things are really big things that you may not be aware of.
7. Set a realistic goal that is still a stretch. If your surgeon says you can lose xx pounds, don't set a goal of yy which is 60 pounds more. Rely on experts' experience.
8. Not everyone will be happy with your weight loss but you can be. Ignore the Debbie Downers and kill with a smile, kindness and your killer new body.
9. Find a WLS buddy. It's easier when you have someone to share your burden and it can be someone on-line or in person.
10. Learn to live the "new you". You will be a different person and make sure you don't let your old life define your new life.
I hope this is what you are looking for. Best of luck on your journey.
1. It's not all about pounds lost. Don't just set weight loss goals.
2. Prepare for the good and the bad. It's not a smooth slide down the weight scale.
3. Learn and adapt from your failures. Don't beat yourself up. It does no good.
4. Follow the rules and guidelines. It's that simple. The more you wander. The more you are apt to fail.
5. Everyone is different and take advice with a grain of salt. There are many experts online but they are not your nutritionist or surgeon.
6. You got to celebrate a lot. Little things are really big things that you may not be aware of.
7. Set a realistic goal that is still a stretch. If your surgeon says you can lose xx pounds, don't set a goal of yy which is 60 pounds more. Rely on experts' experience.
8. Not everyone will be happy with your weight loss but you can be. Ignore the Debbie Downers and kill with a smile, kindness and your killer new body.
9. Find a WLS buddy. It's easier when you have someone to share your burden and it can be someone on-line or in person.
10. Learn to live the "new you". You will be a different person and make sure you don't let your old life define your new life.
I hope this is what you are looking for. Best of luck on your journey.
Tom
Follow my journey to a happy, healthy, active life at TomBilcze.com
Evelyn,
Support is indeed important. If coming to this and other forums nightly help you, then so be it. I was a daily visitor for 1+years here and developed strong friendships with others from this forum that I still maintain.
Just know that WLS is not about surgery alone. It is about changing your life and working hard to be that changed person. People may say that WLS is the easy way out. That can be true for the short term when weight just falls off. That's where life changes after the first year or so. Long term success is about having made changes to your life that last a lifetime and are not reliant on a smaller stomach or band around the stomach.
Make lifestyle changes your top priority and seek out people who support those changes.
Tom
Support is indeed important. If coming to this and other forums nightly help you, then so be it. I was a daily visitor for 1+years here and developed strong friendships with others from this forum that I still maintain.
Just know that WLS is not about surgery alone. It is about changing your life and working hard to be that changed person. People may say that WLS is the easy way out. That can be true for the short term when weight just falls off. That's where life changes after the first year or so. Long term success is about having made changes to your life that last a lifetime and are not reliant on a smaller stomach or band around the stomach.
Make lifestyle changes your top priority and seek out people who support those changes.
Tom
Follow my journey to a happy, healthy, active life at TomBilcze.com
Everyone has posted great responses here for you...I'll add a few more points...exercise, portion control, calorie counting, smarter eating, support groups...
I had the VSG December 14, 2010...my "plan" was a year long process...or more. For years my gastro in Boston wanted me to get WLS but none of his team would touch me due to liver issues & low platelets...when I went to PVD's Miriam Hospital for their seminar & subsequent appt w/their surgeon...he also refused me due to my issues...I went to Cigna's website to look for another surgeon and low & behold, their "preferred provider' was Dr Pohl out of Roger Williams Medical Center, a mile from my house and a hospital I've always had good experiences with. At the time they were also the ONLY "Center of Excellence" in Rhode Island (Miriam, RI Hosp & Kent have now either received the designation or are about to get it).
I met w/Dr Pohl in Jan 2010, explained my issues and he said, "Well, lets put you thru the process & see if Cigna will approve the lap band...and maybe by the time you're ready, they will start covering the Sleeve..." I definitely didn't qualify for the bypass due to liver issues and there was no way in hell I was going to get the lap band...and in many ways I'm so grateful it took so long and that Cigna required 6 months of Nutritional counseling & PCP monitoring. They also needed a clearance/sign off from my gastro in Boston. Thankfully Cigna started covering the sleeve in April or May last year.
My "PLAN"...walking, exercise and logging everything I put in my mouth...which I still do today...it helps keep myself 'accountable' for everything I do. I say I'm grateful it took so long to go through the process because it allowed me to wrap my head around the lifestyle changes I needed to make in order to be successful. I lost 70# pre-surgery (pre-pre-op diet) and another 95# from pre-op diet to where I am today...hovering, reshaping, redistributing and still losing, slowly but surely. I topped out at 394 in Oct 09...was 380 in Jan when I met w/Dr Pohl (I started a regimented walking program when Miriam turned me down-I was part of a study designed to increase steps/day each week, slowly over about 2-3 months). Through calorie counting, portion control, smarter and more informed eating habits along with walking and eventually working out, I leveled off at 324....307 day of surgery after pre-op diet, 321 day out of hospital (damn fluids!) and today, I'm 229...165# down from my peak...I'm a damn miracle!
We have a great resource in Rhode Island of Support Groups, 7 meetings/month at Roger Williams, 2 at Miriam Hospital, 1 at RI Hospital, 1 in South County in Wakefield and another in Warwick...I'm also the VSG Spokesperson at Roger Williams Monthly Info Seminar my Surgeon's Group puts on...of the 7 meetings at RWMC...we have a Men's Meeting, Lap Band, Spanish Speaking, 2years+ Post-op, an All WLS Post-op and two 'all those considering or have had WLS' meetings, one afternoon and one evening.
I've always referred to RI as the smallest state in the Union w/the biggest closet...but we also have a hell of a lot of WLS Support Groups and ALL are welcome...I am the resident OUT, at times loud & proud Gay man in the meetings...LOL
I'm sure you surgeon and the hospital will have a detailed eating plan for you when you get out...mine provided me w/a 6-week gradual re-introduction to eating...I followed it almost to a T w/a few substitutions (hate cream of wheat & cottage cheese...LOL).
I'm also extremely fortunate to have had overwhelming support and encouragement from family, friends and my employer....what ever I needed, everyone was there...I'm not in a relationship right now (but I'm heading out to LA in 2 weeks to reconnect w/an ex...wooo hooo!), but I'm friends w/all my ex's and everyone has been very supportive through the whole process.
I hope your wife continues to work on acceptance and support for you! Feel free to message me, you're right next door in CT...btw, are you guys going to Gay Day at Six Flags? (9/18) I can't wait...it will be the first ime in YEARS I'll be able to ride the rides at an amusement park...my next NSV!
I had the VSG December 14, 2010...my "plan" was a year long process...or more. For years my gastro in Boston wanted me to get WLS but none of his team would touch me due to liver issues & low platelets...when I went to PVD's Miriam Hospital for their seminar & subsequent appt w/their surgeon...he also refused me due to my issues...I went to Cigna's website to look for another surgeon and low & behold, their "preferred provider' was Dr Pohl out of Roger Williams Medical Center, a mile from my house and a hospital I've always had good experiences with. At the time they were also the ONLY "Center of Excellence" in Rhode Island (Miriam, RI Hosp & Kent have now either received the designation or are about to get it).
I met w/Dr Pohl in Jan 2010, explained my issues and he said, "Well, lets put you thru the process & see if Cigna will approve the lap band...and maybe by the time you're ready, they will start covering the Sleeve..." I definitely didn't qualify for the bypass due to liver issues and there was no way in hell I was going to get the lap band...and in many ways I'm so grateful it took so long and that Cigna required 6 months of Nutritional counseling & PCP monitoring. They also needed a clearance/sign off from my gastro in Boston. Thankfully Cigna started covering the sleeve in April or May last year.
My "PLAN"...walking, exercise and logging everything I put in my mouth...which I still do today...it helps keep myself 'accountable' for everything I do. I say I'm grateful it took so long to go through the process because it allowed me to wrap my head around the lifestyle changes I needed to make in order to be successful. I lost 70# pre-surgery (pre-pre-op diet) and another 95# from pre-op diet to where I am today...hovering, reshaping, redistributing and still losing, slowly but surely. I topped out at 394 in Oct 09...was 380 in Jan when I met w/Dr Pohl (I started a regimented walking program when Miriam turned me down-I was part of a study designed to increase steps/day each week, slowly over about 2-3 months). Through calorie counting, portion control, smarter and more informed eating habits along with walking and eventually working out, I leveled off at 324....307 day of surgery after pre-op diet, 321 day out of hospital (damn fluids!) and today, I'm 229...165# down from my peak...I'm a damn miracle!
We have a great resource in Rhode Island of Support Groups, 7 meetings/month at Roger Williams, 2 at Miriam Hospital, 1 at RI Hospital, 1 in South County in Wakefield and another in Warwick...I'm also the VSG Spokesperson at Roger Williams Monthly Info Seminar my Surgeon's Group puts on...of the 7 meetings at RWMC...we have a Men's Meeting, Lap Band, Spanish Speaking, 2years+ Post-op, an All WLS Post-op and two 'all those considering or have had WLS' meetings, one afternoon and one evening.
I've always referred to RI as the smallest state in the Union w/the biggest closet...but we also have a hell of a lot of WLS Support Groups and ALL are welcome...I am the resident OUT, at times loud & proud Gay man in the meetings...LOL
I'm sure you surgeon and the hospital will have a detailed eating plan for you when you get out...mine provided me w/a 6-week gradual re-introduction to eating...I followed it almost to a T w/a few substitutions (hate cream of wheat & cottage cheese...LOL).
I'm also extremely fortunate to have had overwhelming support and encouragement from family, friends and my employer....what ever I needed, everyone was there...I'm not in a relationship right now (but I'm heading out to LA in 2 weeks to reconnect w/an ex...wooo hooo!), but I'm friends w/all my ex's and everyone has been very supportive through the whole process.
I hope your wife continues to work on acceptance and support for you! Feel free to message me, you're right next door in CT...btw, are you guys going to Gay Day at Six Flags? (9/18) I can't wait...it will be the first ime in YEARS I'll be able to ride the rides at an amusement park...my next NSV!
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