OT- Update to my breakup situation

so i come home from work yesterday and she's gone. she's moved all her stuff out, left no note, took one of the dogs and took the car we own together. she swore to me she was going to help out for at least a month so we could both save up some money to go our own way. she obviously had it planned, and had no intention of helping me out till we could both get on our feet. it is the worst feeling in the world to come home to something like that. so i'm effectively screwed over again...with rent coming up and me living paycheck to paycheck since i could never save when i was with her. it was really rough last night. she took the cable box, internet modem... took a bunch of clothes that she knows i wear, especially now that i've lost weight and can't fit into my old things. so i've got like 3 pair of dressy pants that are way too big, no jeans, she took them all, and a handful of shirts. so i'm pretty devestated at the financial crisis i'm facing, but obviously glad she's out and i can start to move on... i've got a counseling session tommorrow, so hopefully that helps. i keep thinking that this is all a dream, and that her promise to not leave me high and dry was true, but with all the cheating and lying...i should have known not to trust her.

This sucks so I want to send you an EHUG first...Then I want you to get strong, dont live in the portions of this you cant control and cant change. Be positive and find ways to resolve the things you need to in order to move forward. JUST DO IT, dont over think it and realize in time you will be better off. You will find out that all this was meant to happen and you will rise above it. You will figure out how to stay afloat and you will get the things you need in life...

Hugs
G

Sending hugs to you as well poot.  G's covered all the good advice so I don't have any more to add there.  Take care of yourself and I'm so glad you are continuing the counseling.  It can be a lifesaver.

-Danny

So sorry to hear of the latest developments. I can't imagine how difficult this is.

But, just a couple of observations. First, if the car was in both your names (on the title / registration) then she can't unilaterally take it. Report it as stolen and let the courts figure it out.

Second, change the locks immediately. Who know what else she's going to do? Perhaps damage to the house, removal of furniture, etc. You need to protect what little you have left.

Best of luck with everything.

I'm so sorry Poot!  I can only imagine how devastating this must be for you.  But breathe... you're going to be fine... actually you're going to come out of this a strong woman.  I'm glad you have an appt tomorrow with your counselor.  As far as the items that she took, it's just material items.  You have yourself and that's all that really matters.  She cannot take away who you are.  Remember that.  And about the clothes, time to hit up goodwill.  You'll be dropping through clothing sizes pretty quickly this year.  So you really shouldn't spend much $ on clothes anyway.  Also, see if there's a WLS clothing exchange anywhere near you.  Those are great.  We do them 3 times a year at my hospital.  During my 1st year out, I dropped from a size 28-30 (4xl) to a 12-14 (L.)  And during that time, I pretty much went through about 4 different wardrobes... almost all of it came from clothing exchanges or hand-me-downs. 

You're going to be ok.  Lean on your friends and family that love and support you unconditionally.  Keep breathing.  Keep exercising and being rigorous with your new healthy lifestyle (notice I didn't say "diet.")  Keep remembering that you are emerging through this time as a healthy, vibrant, happy, and whole woman.  And, you're not alone.  My now wife broke up with me 36 hours before my WLS.  We were broken up for the first 7 months after my WLS.  We worked through everything, but it was so devastating for me back then.  She broke my heart.  But I made it through and you will make it through this time as well.

So sorry to hear.....Keep going to counseling, protect what you have left...and if both your names are on the car you may be able to get it back....or do you have a car with her name on it too? And if you need to contact her you must know her friends, family and work info, right?
Hang in there, take it a day at a time....

sending positive thoughts your way....

deb366

Saddened to hear she would do something like this while you're still finding your way after your surgery.  How is the other dog (the one you have) holding up?  Poor thing is probally beside their self and confused.  Glad you're going to talk to someone, it does help (I've been going for awhile).  I agree with everyone else about the car and the locks  How are you doing with your water, meals and exercise?  You have to stay strong.  Karma is nothing to mess with and she messed with it good.  Sending good thoughts and lots or prayers your way.  You have many friends here and we'll be here for you.  ((HUGS))

Thanks again to all of my OH friends here. Really means a lot that I can get such great support from you all. I changed all the locks, throw out a bunch of stuff she left behind, and changed all my passwords and requested a new bank card. She hasn't contacted me about the car, but I spoke with a friend who suggested I go to small claims court, so I'm looking into that. And honestly, I'm so tired of having to deal with her, I just want to move on. I've been able to go through the last two days without crying at every little thing, so I think I'm doing ok. The apartment is quiet without her and eventhough I don't like it, there is a peace there as well. My little dog toby is upset, he misses his brother and I know he's confused, but at least we have eachother. As far as my health goes, my appetite has been a little out of sorts. Luckily I haven't eaten through these emotions I'm having. I haven't felt like going to workout the past few days, but I need to push myself to go. I've got some great friends as well who talk with me and lend support. I even kinda met a new lady friend, and at least it's taking my mind off of things, so we'll see what happens. Hopefully my next posts will be of good things and good news!

 Hey Poot...

So sorry to hear that all.  My wife and I filed for divorce too, and I found out she has been cheating, so when she left and it was so sudden to me, apparently it was planned too.  I know how terrible this all feels.  I am thinking of you and if we can support each other, let me know.

Danielle