OT - Just wanted to vent...ended after 16 years
hi oh peeps....
it's been a while since i've posted. things have kinda been up in the air lately. i can happily but disappointingly say that i've lost 40 pounds since surgery. i feel like i should have lost more, but i've been emo eating due to my relationship which just ended a day ago. my partner and i were together for 16 years. we've definitely been through a lot, but ultimately, she changed and was unwilling to be anything other than selfish. she started off being supportive with my surgery and helping me eat right, but after a while, she stopped and continued on with fast food, etc... making it hard for me to be strong.
mostly i feel the need to share the sadness and hurt that i feel. she basically cheated on me (not the first time)and got really addicted to the game world of warcraft, so she never left the house, had real life friends, etc... so basically i've spent the last few years and mostly the last few months being ignored and neglected. plus losing 40 pounds made me feel the need to get up and move ya know? so i let it go on mostly i think because i was overweight and probably felt like i had to take what i could get. i just felt like i was settling and if she wasn't going to move forward with me, then she was only going to hold me back. so now i'm left to start over again, on top of trying to get my diet/exercise back on track. i feel so disappointed in her and myself, but i also feel relieved. i hate to add to the recent posts about breakups and stuff, but i needed to get it off my chest. now on to splitting up everything so we can go our separate ways..which isn't going to be fun...how do you move on after 16 years?
it's been a while since i've posted. things have kinda been up in the air lately. i can happily but disappointingly say that i've lost 40 pounds since surgery. i feel like i should have lost more, but i've been emo eating due to my relationship which just ended a day ago. my partner and i were together for 16 years. we've definitely been through a lot, but ultimately, she changed and was unwilling to be anything other than selfish. she started off being supportive with my surgery and helping me eat right, but after a while, she stopped and continued on with fast food, etc... making it hard for me to be strong.
mostly i feel the need to share the sadness and hurt that i feel. she basically cheated on me (not the first time)and got really addicted to the game world of warcraft, so she never left the house, had real life friends, etc... so basically i've spent the last few years and mostly the last few months being ignored and neglected. plus losing 40 pounds made me feel the need to get up and move ya know? so i let it go on mostly i think because i was overweight and probably felt like i had to take what i could get. i just felt like i was settling and if she wasn't going to move forward with me, then she was only going to hold me back. so now i'm left to start over again, on top of trying to get my diet/exercise back on track. i feel so disappointed in her and myself, but i also feel relieved. i hate to add to the recent posts about breakups and stuff, but i needed to get it off my chest. now on to splitting up everything so we can go our separate ways..which isn't going to be fun...how do you move on after 16 years?
I"m sorry to hear about you and your partner. Keep focusing on you and what you're future holds. A slimmer, healthier you. I know it will not be easy after 16 years, just think of how far you've come since your surgery. Sending prayers and good thoughts your way. 
I am so sorry to hear about your breakup my partner and I have been together for 20 years so I understand a long term relationship and the breakup must be devistating. However at this point you need to be strong. Just from listening to your post I can tell you are a strong person. Remember the strength it took you to have this surgery and continue to do whatever you need to continue to lose weight. In the end you were doing this WLS for YOU so dont forget and move on. In the long run you will be better off with it. Surround yourself with people who support and love you. That will help you get through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Craig
Craig
((Poot)) so sorry, stay strong, take care of yourself....my partner broke up with me right before my surgery....she was sleeping with a coworker. Was a mess. Anyway....I was just in shock and did what I could. I did go back to counseling (life saver)needed to get on antidepressants for awhile....found out who my real friends were....it is hard, but you will make it through...
Like I posted somewhere else....in hindsight...it was one of the best things that has happened to me, but it was sad and devastating at the time.
Stay on track, vits, water, walking, working out, protein, whatever you are supposed to do to care for yourself...take it a day or moment at a time...wishing you all the best!
Like I posted somewhere else....in hindsight...it was one of the best things that has happened to me, but it was sad and devastating at the time.
Stay on track, vits, water, walking, working out, protein, whatever you are supposed to do to care for yourself...take it a day or moment at a time...wishing you all the best!
Currently 125 pounds
(((HUGS))) Poot. My heart goes out to you, but the others are right. Don't worry about moving on just yet, just focus on you and your health. You have lost 40 lbs! That's awesome, go to the pet store and pick up a 40lb bag a dog food and tell me that's not a crazy amount to be carrying around all day long!
You can do this, unfortunately breakups happen a lot around WLS, for a variety of reasons. I am in that category too (left my partner a year after surgery) and it was the best decision for both of us.
This may look bleak now, but surround yourself with those who love you, and think about all the time you've got to focus on the most important thing- you.
Take Care,
:Danni
You can do this, unfortunately breakups happen a lot around WLS, for a variety of reasons. I am in that category too (left my partner a year after surgery) and it was the best decision for both of us.
This may look bleak now, but surround yourself with those who love you, and think about all the time you've got to focus on the most important thing- you.
Take Care,
:Danni
:Danni >>>AIDS/LifeCycle 10 & 11 Finisher: 545miles on the bike in 7 days <<<
HW390/SW340/CW 208/GW170
I'm so sorry, Poot! I too echo what everyone else has said already. 40 lbs is a GREAT weight loss. When was the last time you lost 40 lbs in 2 months?!?!?! Take things one step at a time and focus on you and your health. You deserve SO much more in a partner. you're an awesome woman and now is the time for you to blossom. I'm here for you if you need to chat.
Our little miracle baby boy is on his way!
thanks for the kind words eveybody. the last few days i've been alone, she went to go see this lady she was cheating on me with, so i've had lots of alone time, and it sucked. i'm at work today, and i promised myself i wouldn't cry here, but once again, i'm overcome my sadness and i hate it. i keep thinking about how messd up our relationship was, and i know it's better to move on, but i'm struggling with figuring out how. when we had broken up before, i made some really bad choices and basically found one lady after another and just did whatever to not feel alone, feel the pain. i don;t want to do that again, so i'm trying hard to get up and go work out and at least past the time. it's no fair that she's out there having a good time, while i feel like i'm the only one suffering.
i really appreciate all of you, i don't have many friends i can turn to here, and it's good to know i can have a positive place here.
i really appreciate all of you, i don't have many friends i can turn to here, and it's good to know i can have a positive place here.
sfnativewm
on 5/18/11 2:02 am
on 5/18/11 2:02 am
Well you have friends here!!! Just post away! making good choices for your well being is important! Trust me I know the feeling although over 20 years ago!!! LOL the crying, rolling up in a ball, etc........now I can laugh about it as much as it hurt, it was a HUGE favor!!! hang in ther!
~Ann~
Band removed and feeling alive with energy!
OneFinger
on 5/18/11 3:56 am
on 5/18/11 3:56 am
Poot,
I don't have a lot of good relationship advice since none of mine have endured time. But, I do feel your pain and understand how much it hurts.
I know it's tough but keep your eyes focused on your new goals. You're in the process of making some wonderful life-time changes with your weight. Don't let this relationship issue derail your progress.
I think it's great that you're getting out of the house and going back to work. You need the interaction with others. Take care and realize that you'll slowly start feeling better. For a while, you may have to "fake" being strong or happy. Maybe you can take comfort in knowing that you've just lost over 100 lbs (girlfriend).
Keep us posted on how you're doing.
I don't have a lot of good relationship advice since none of mine have endured time. But, I do feel your pain and understand how much it hurts.
I know it's tough but keep your eyes focused on your new goals. You're in the process of making some wonderful life-time changes with your weight. Don't let this relationship issue derail your progress.
I think it's great that you're getting out of the house and going back to work. You need the interaction with others. Take care and realize that you'll slowly start feeling better. For a while, you may have to "fake" being strong or happy. Maybe you can take comfort in knowing that you've just lost over 100 lbs (girlfriend).
Keep us posted on how you're doing.
High Weight = 310 Surgery Weight = 300 Dr's Goal = 200 My Goal = 190 
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