Wife just left....feeling really out of sorts.

 HI all....

I had RNY in 11/09.  Thought things were going well.  Talked to my wife a lot, thought we had good communication.  Not perfect, but working on it.  We have been together for 12 yrs and have a 3 yr old son.

On Thursday she told me she was unhappy, didn't know how to communicate with me on what was bothering her, and was leaving.  She packed a bag and was gone in 10 mins.  I was and am devastated.  She left him and me in minutes.  Since then I have seen her a few times, and went to a therapist.  She says she needs to work on her and her communication and then we can see about working on us.  I dont know where that leaves me.  I thought it might be for a few days, but she is talking about setting up a room where she is staying, and I feel like this might be a long road.  I dont know if I am up for it.

I dont know if this is related to the RNY.  I think mostly not, but I do think I changed physically and she was a little more insecure.  She reverted back to a lack of communication that we hadn't seen in years.  She acknowledges that she did not tell me anything at all about being upset.  

I have tried being really good about naming my feelings since the RNY.  Since I cant eat through them, and I am so scared Ill drink through them, I have tried naming them.  Its new for me.  I am wondering if this upset her or was something she couldnt take.

I dont know where to go now.  I guess we are going to "work" on it.  I just dont know.  I kind of needed someplace to get this out, and I thought of you all.  Though I dont post a lot, I have found a lot of support here.  

I am nervous about how I will deal with this HUGE stress.  Im barely eating and sleeping but I know I have to take care of myself.  I just dont know how.  I am going to look for a therapist too.

Thanks all.

D

I am proud of you for not eating your emotions.  It's so easy to do.  I"m sorry about your wife.  I'm at a loss of words, 12 years is a long time.  Will say extra prayers for youns.

 Thanks, Sandy :) It is really hard.

Oh honey! I'm so sorry.  I think you are an amazing woman and good for you for staying true to what you know is good for you.  Keep putting words to your emotions and not food.  I also think therapy would be a good option for you right now.  You know how to reach me if you ever want or need to talk honey. FB me anytime.

Big hugs my friend.
Love,
Maryn

 Maryn, 

Thanks so much.  I really appreciate your support.  I will definitely let you know if I need you too.

D

I am so sorry!!!   Sending you  a big hug!!   keep posting away and alow your feelings to flow!   We are all here to listen!!   Give your son a big hug!!!!!

Sometimes with new bodies comes new life adventures!!  Just continue to be the Genuine you and the rest will follow

 Thanks, Ann :)

Sending you love and hugs D. 

-Danny

 Thx 

D

Man, that sucks!!!... I am so sorry D. Therapy is a good idea - taking care and being kind to yourself will hopefully help process what you are feeling, and  will assist with the stress and eating.  Westwood MA is not that far away from where we are, so if you need to get away for a nice weekend hike in the White Mountains, you and your son are welcome to come visit us in NH, once things settle down on your end!

Will be sending good energy for strength through this process.  - Xico