I'm very partial...

So I have been lurking around here but havent posted in the GLBT forum just yet. I am having surgery in May (VSG). After coming to terms with myself that I am in fact bisexual (I think for a while I tried to deny it and made myself feel bad about it) I am slowly coming out of the closet. Most my friends now know, none of my family does aside from my hubby who kind of pointed it out a while ago. (and no not for his own benefit lol)

I am married to him still and love him very much, but now I also have a girlfriend...which he knows about and she is actually moving in with us. We are all really great friends and that is honestly how it started... we weren't looking to have this type of relationship.. it just happened and I love them both. We constantly talk about things and despite some naysayers there is not jealousy flowing from anyone of us.  Wasn't sure about posting on here because it is one thing to just be bi, gay, lesbian, or trans, but another to be  in a polyamorous relationship. Many people disagree and are not supportive of those and probably think that means we are throwing nightly orgies and are morally void.  Quite the opposite really as it is a pretty committed relationship with lots of love and isnt just about the sexy times. ;)

Anyway hoping to find some friends that can understand or even relate.

Ya know what?  You choose how you live your life, no one else.  I think it's amazing that your husband is supportive of you and I hope that the 3 of you live long, peaceful, loving lives.  Sometimes we just have to take a step back and realize that although I wouldn't choose that for my marriage, I can't judge someone else who does.  Just be ready to deflect all the negativity that's going to come your way.  Unfortunately, it's inevitable.  All the best to you and your family. 

thanks so much for your reply AND support :)  One of my long time close friends brought things up yesterday at dinner and definitely got an earful of negativity. I let it roll of my shoulders  but I know that if and when i decide to let anyone else know (she actually guessed we had something going on lol) I know I will face lots more of that.  Before she figured out what was going on she would say that bisexuals are just selfish and need to choose sides and that polyamorous relationships are useless as someone asis always going to be left out. It sucks that while she is still my friend she can't understand that even though its not for everyone, it is for me.

My husband is pretty great and always supportive and loving. I couldnt have married a better man. And my girlfriend  is amazing... she started out as just an awesomely supportive friend that I as well as my husband grew very close to over the last year and a half. I think it is rare to find someone like either one of them...and even rarer to find two and be content in our relationship as we are.

I am counting myself as a very lucky woman to have such supportive people in my life, especially going into the this wls journey too.

Hey Jenn,

Congrats on several things... starting your WLS journey... finding your husband to be understanding and supportive... developing this relationship with your gf... and really stepping into your own shoes.  You are walking a courageous path of your own truth now.  And unfortunately, you might find more people who will not be supportive and will try to put you down in a few areas (WLS, bi, and poly.)  But here's the thing... those nay sayers are that way because they do not understand, they are judgemental, and they don't want you to succeed where they are not in other areas of their lives.  As you continue to walk down this path in life (all 3 paths - wls, bi, poly) just remember that you are on this path for YOU and your own health and happiness.  You deserve to be happy and healthy.

Congratulations to you!

~Maryn

Thanks for the advice... I think right now I am trying to thicken my skin in preparation of dealing with more negativity, but overall I really feel happy and myself, more so than I have in a long time :) I really appreciate your words of wisdom and will definitely remind myself that this path is for me.
*hugs*

Hey, it is what it is. This life is way to short to try and get approval from everyone else. Just be honest with yourself, your spouce, and your new mate and thats it.

Best of luck to you in your surgery. Start sipping your water now.

Dani

hehe I have been working on the eating habits I need to be doing for surgery lol...the hardest has got to be not drinking during a meal!

Sounds like you're doing great in your relationships. It's always wonderful to hear success stories. And, if anybody questions your status, you could always tell to watch the "Big Love" series on HBO. They ought to shut them up.  :)  But, not sure how hubby would feel about that.

www.hbo.com/big-love/

Best of luck on your upcoming surgery. I'm not real familiar with VSG. But, I can honestly say that having WLS is one of the best things that's happened to me. It's really turned around my life and I'm more active and happy than I've been in a very long time. Mobility, desire to do stuff, and basically live my life is stronger than ever before.

Keep us posted during your journey.

LOL  I saw I think one episode of that, though that is more if she was with the hubby... I suppose I could just say "replace him with me..and you kinda get the picture."  But I think what everyone else is saying is true, I don't really need to explain it to anyone. I am being who I am after struggling with trying to be something I am not.

From what it seems on here, WLS changes many lives for the better. I am just now getting health issues and am too young to have them. Since VSG is restriction only  surgery I still have  a lot of the footwork to handle on my own, but I am ready to. It will just help me by not allowing me to eat as much, which is my main issue. I also decided to speak with a therapist to work on emotional/compulsive eating issues...though I have noticed since my relationship with hubby and gf has developed more I have had less of those issues... coincidence? LOL

Congrats on your new family and upcoming surgery!