Found my rainbow family

HI :)

I am a lesbian with an amazing partner and son.  I am 30 and have a BMI of 61.  I have opted for the DS which I am currently testing for.  

I'm thrilled to have found this section of the forum!

My question is.....   As a lesbian are there things that may differ for my surgery and outcome than if I was (dare I say it?) straight?

Compared to my straight female counter parts physically we're the same, mentally a little different.  What has others experiences been?

LOL...your post made me smile. Well, in my opinion I do not think being straight or gay makes a difference in the experience. The experience/sucess you have is all based you YOU. It helps to have a loving partner by your side but as long as you have the will and drive you will be sucessful! Good Luck to you!!

Hmmm... not that I can think of except the usual stuff about heakth disparities for LGBT folk. I made sure to have a living will and a freidnwit a power of attorney to speak for me if something wnet twrong becasue I am single with kids but I don't think that is any diferent than someone in the same boat who is straight would do. I have often thought about what LGBT poeple struggle with as our bodies change and our identity shifts around with it. I have been all over the map in how I have felt as my weight has dropped. Grew my hair long for a while then just got it cut again, can't figure out who the hell I am attracted to on a consistent basis anymore LOL. I wonder how unique that is for us in the queer world as opposed to folks who are straight. Look forward to seeing what other have to say. Great question. Good luck to you!

Ok Girls :)  I think I have found the first thing in my journey that makes being a LGBT unique.  Discrimination!  Something I know plenty of us are used to.  I received my first dose of WLS hate yesterday from an ultrasound tech.  I guess dealing with it before because I am a lesbian helped me deal with her.  It made it easier to smile and walk away.  Of course in my head I was saying plenty. lol

That's horrible, what did they say/do?

I agree with Jill, I think the only difference is that a lot of Lesbians find that they aren't as actualized as they thought. Some become super femme, others quite butch, while some like me...pretty much stay the same but freak out about it nonetheless! LOL!

Especially, for those of us with a high BMI, it's very strange suddenly being normal, but it's a strange that I'd gladly take.

Good luck on your journey...it's a wild ride!

I friend also and yes like to learn more

Hi Joianne!

I had my surgery 2 months ago with no problems other than going home on oxygen therapy.  My surgeon is/was well aware of my family status and totally embraced us (my partner and 4 year old twin daughters).  Although I had a medical power of attorney on file with the hospital, no one gave Erin any problems whatsover and treated her as if we were legally married when it came to keeping her informed and allowing access to me even in recovery and ICU (for the first half day post op b/c of space issues).  She and my girls were allowed to come and go as they pleased and were invited by staff to stay the night, if they wanted (we live about an hour away from the hospital I had surgery at).  
As the sole legal parent of my twin girls, before I left for the hospital, I had two friends witness and sign my medical power of attorney, financial power of attorney, tempoary guardianship agreement and my living will.  My daughters' preschool has copies of everything and the medical staff knew in advance of my wishes and had them on paper. 

Good luck and get ready for a wild ride!!

Welcome to the forum. I am no expert on being a lesbian, although my ex frequently accused me of processing like a lesbian, but I wanted to make you aware of some tools to help you.

First, if you don't already have them, make sure your partner has your durable power of attorney and power of attorney for mental health. Then make sure every provider has it: surgeon, PCP, and the hospital on the day you are admitted. Many people advise this even if you are married or in a domestic partnership. Most states have basic ones you can download.

Second, if either of you has no legal rights to your son (meaning one of you is neither the biological mother nor has legally adopted your son), make sure to see a lawyer and get that taken care of. The chances of anything bad happening to you is really low, but is it always better safe than sorry.

Finally, as of January, every hospital in the country that accepts medicare or medicaid (in practice almost all hospitals do) must allow any visitors a person wants including a same sex partner. Here is a story on that change:

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/hospital-visitation-rights-gay-lesbian-partners-effect/story?id=12642543

Finally, as a lesbian, you will find that you have lots of hot women throwing themselves at your new hot bod. Straight women don't get that as much. Be prepared!

Welcome and best of luck with your WLS process.