Getting noticed andf feeling all kinds of ways about it!

I have been doing this WLS journey almost 16 months now. As the weight has come off month after month the comments and attention have intensified. Folks can be really sweet and also pretty damned intrusive! I know it is often just the personality of the person talking so I try to be light about it but damn it can get wierd having my body commented on all the time.
 
I am now 6 weeks into a 12 week weight lifting/cardio program that has begun shaping my muscles and this last week has started the buzz all over again. Strange how I felt safe and invisible almost 80 pounds ago yet longing for my inner athlete to make her way back out from the inside of me where the world could see it.I also felt lonely being invisible. Now I am here and I am grappling with being seen. It feels wonderful and validating yet infuriating and nerve wracking too. Like " hello.. where were all of you 80 pounds ago. Didn't you like me then?" ( not my most evolved self speaking) and shy and uncomfortable with compliments and like a friggin' adolescent again. I have started dating as of the last few months so I am also trying to manage these new conflicting feelings as I address dating for the first time in 17 years!! Yowza!!!

Would love to hear about how all of you have done managing these things. Any sharing of experiences of words of advice would be great. Danni, where are you bud!! LOL

Great post!  I have a wonderful partner of 10ish years that has always been supportive no matter what..............and she is 5'5 and 140 lbs so when we met my self struggles we hard.   She loves me for me and that is wonderful!    BUT as I lose weight I find all the attention from others stressful, as I am shy (till you know me) and now with all these people being kind, saying hi, just talking to me random, some how makes me want to eat and not do weightloss as I should.  Infact, I keep the weightloss to a certain weight wanting to get more weight off.

With that said outloud, I am going to get back on my journey today!  I think I just needed to read a post like yours to know that I am not alone!

Thanks for putting it out there!!!  And by all means truely enjoy dating until the right person comes along! 

Thanks Ann!! Always love your responses. It really is great to know you aren't alone in the stuff that usually just lives in your head. Don't feel so wierd or worried when I hear another soul's struggles! You're the best!!

I'm here Jill!! And I can totally relate! This journey is such a strange one, I was just saying to my partner last night, how I still don't always recognize myself in pictures. It's like I'm looking at someone else's smile...not my own...very bizarre.

I have absolutely felt the frustration with all the attention, but from what I have learned here on OH...that will end and soon we'll be missing it. In a while the new-ness will fade and everyone will just accept that this is who you are, a fit and attractive woman, and you'll probably miss the shock and awe factor.

So I say, enjoy it, say thank you, and go about your day. Also going to support groups has really helped me dealing with this, cuz I can give back to newbies and pre-ops, it makes me feel less like freak and more like someone with great experience.

You are beautiful and I wish you great luck with the dating...and whatever you do, don't settle for anything but the best- cuz you deserve it!

Thanks Danni. That was great feedback and better advice.

Congrates and good luck.
Your looking great and I am sure dating will soon follow.

Believe me if you was at my gym you would be notice :)

Well now that just made my day! Thank you mam!!

You get used to the changes and so do most of the folks in your life. I have been at about the same weight for over 2 years now...and what most folks say is that they don't remember me being heavy. People who have weight issues will comment on my weight. I have a couple who call me skinny minny or report if they see me eating a carb (I do eat carbs). I just figure it is them and their issues. You are right, it is a big change to be visble and to look in the mirror and not be sure who it is. But now I look at the old pictures and it is like, who is that!?!?!

The journey has several different stages....they are not all easy or comfortable! Life isn't automatically easy just because you lose weight....

congrats on losing weight!~

Hey Jill -- can relate to what your saying. I felt the same way at times and was like thanks for noticing me, but where were you 100 pounds ago? The editor of my company's website approached me about 2 months ago to do a story on me and my weight loss so I finally agreed to it. Now that it has been published people I don't even know come up to me and congratulate me. One of the comments I hear a lot is, wow I never would have guessed you were that big. I was like umm I have been here for 3 years did you just not see me? I just smile and say thank you and answer questions and go about my day. 

Dating is hard, no matter when you do it, I am sure you will find that perfect person in no time :-)
It is a fun, exciting weird journey,,,but it is so worth it