Losing weight and loosing your butchness?

I am new to posting on LGBT  OH  as i just found it !

I had a concern b4  surgery - it kind of went away ...but now that I found this LGBT message board i am excited .  

I have lost 31lbs as of monday - ya hoo and so long ! I am a butch female and i knew that i kind of hid behind my weight and or used it to look tougher  when i was younger.  I wonderin loosing weight am I going to loose my toughness , loose my butchness?

Just wondering if any of you had any issues.  I dont see many women on here so perhaps some bears can address this ... think of it in termsof a bear loosing weight are you still seen as a bear does anything change ...

I mean I know i am stll going to be butch - as that is who I am.  My wife is ok with it and we have a very strong butch femme dynamic.  So just wondering ?

Thanks,

Jay

Hey Jay!  Welcome to our family forum!  There are plenty of women on here.  I'm a femmie girl so while I can understand your concerns, I did not have those same concerns.  I do have a friend who frequents this board that I think can relate.  I'll ping her today...

Bottom line here... You are who you are.  The great thing about this journey is that losing weight is really just one part of this journey.  A huge part is learning to deal with the emotional aspects of life that got us to be morbidly obese in the first place (31 years of that for me!)  Another part that you will start to experience as you continue release weight is being comfortable in your own skin (no pun intended cuz you'll have extra skin.)  Since you mentioned that you were hiding behind the weight, you'll get to experience life no longer hiding.  So that means shining your amazing light for all to see.  You'll get to build your confidence in who you are and the gifts you have to share with the world. 

congratulations on taking on this completely transformational journey.  You're not alone!

~ Maryn
(the femmie one in the pic! lol)

Maryn,

Thanks for that PEP talk.  As much as my wife and I prepared forme to be on this journey it seems that there was so much that was left off or out.

I havebeen big since i was 12- with my parents sending me to FAT CAMP.  Its kind of weird when i had my psyc eval the DR> was perplexed as well a sthe NUT as I eat very healthy  ( vegetarian  who eats fish ) and i am not depressed or have any outright issues i dont binge purge or do anything .. I just liked to eat  food tastes good  and I never felt  full - again the nut and the psyc were so perplexed via my eating habits ... but i never excersiced for sake of excercising.  ANyhow I am not sure where I am going with this - or what I was trying to tie this in to  - so sorry bout that .. I think it was supposed to be something about my hiding - My dad was huge and a bg tough guy and I aspired to be that way .... He just lost a truck loadt fo weight as he was diagnosed  with diabetesso he has some crazy medicine that is new and basically just dropped 40 lbs ... he not so big anymore but still very tough  haahah... and NOW OLD - so I realize that my ideology was all jacked!

anyhow, Thanks for reaching out

Hey congrats on teh BABY also ... we just found out my wife is prego too ... 7 weeks on THUR and possibly with twins ! CRAZY - we have been trying for about a year !

- J 

Congrats fellow future momma!  how exciting for you both!  Ya... looks like we're a couple wks behind you two.  This is our 1st Lil Peanut and we're super excited!  I got pg on our 1st try.  My OB said I would become fertile murtle once I dropped dem lbs. And she was right!  Anyway, I'm really activeon facebook.  Feel free to add me & have ur wife add me too.  www.facebook.com/musicmaryn 

We're all in for a fun ride!

Hey J,

I'm the gal Maryn was talking about cuz I had the same issue. I freaked out a bit when I started losing weight, cuz I was afraid that I was going to lose my identity as a big butch she-bear!

Thankfully, others put my mind at ease, and rightfully so.

I'm still a total butch- just a normal sized one. I was so concerned that my big tough exterior that I had relied on was being ripped away, but what I found is that I could still be strong, in a different way- I'm working out, building muscle, and riding my bike insane amounts of miles!- I'm stronger than ever!

The other odd thing, is that I get called sir a lot more now, since my boobs have just about disappeared. Which is great for me, cuz they were HUGE!

So, bottom line, you're still you- just improved! Enjoy the journey, it's a wild one!!

Righty  O!

So glad to read this post thanks for the reply. 

That is exactly what I am talking about  to the T  - crazy .

Well I am pretty confident and outgoing so i am hopefullI wont loose myself and I am pretty secure butch  but i was just worries and thanks you  INKD for letting me know that asside form size there is no difference!

Funny, I worked for LAUSD for several years as a special ed  assistand and then as a Health Care assistant . We seem to have a few things in common ... and tatted up  but I have been putting off my big designs for when I lost weigth guess that will be soon !

Cheers,

Jay

We sure have a lot in common, what tats do you have? I can't wait to get more- I really want my WLS tattoo, but it's a huge back-piece and I'm a poor teacher, so I've got to wait a while!

It took me a while to get used to this new body (an new face!) but I think I'm getting to a point of peace....

I wish you the best of luck on this exciting new chapter!!

:Danni

IDK! My GF and I both had surgery ...she has always been butch but I think she became more butch (as far as clothing goes) after she lost the weight. She had a long pony tail before and now keeps her hair buzzed off. As for me ...I've always been "soft butch" I guess you could say. I became more girlie after ...I think mostly because all of the things I liked when I was fat I couldn't have and now I can have them. I think your clothing style might change a bit ...but after you lose all the weight just LOOK at all the store options you'll have!

What a great topic thread. I actually have met many women on this board in the past 4 years with the same concern. And I have watched many of them go both ways. Some have found they feel even more confident and secure in their identity as a butch woman. And I have also met a few that have found as they lost weight, that the butch exterior was a cover and a security blanket, and have gone as far as to become High Femmes. I think the common thread here is that through the weight loss, they have found their true identity. Regardless of whether it is butch, femme or gender neutral. But every single one of them found their true self, regardless. And found true happiness.

Good luck on your continued discovery of your true self.