Being a Bear...

is so much more to me than the size of your waist and the length of your beard. I never knew that a place existed for me within the Gay Community until I found the Bears. I was always the heavy slightly rednecky gay man with all the twinks and muscle bods in my home town. Now that I am losing weight I have to wonder if people in the bear community will see me the same way....I have been told that I am skinny, that I look like I shouldnt be a bear etc. I dont think that what I look like has anything to do with it . Its a state of mind for me. I will now and always be a bear and be proud of it, as a part of being proud of the gay community that I belong to as a whole.  

I totally agree that being a bear is a state of mind.  I don't have that much hair and I've had people say that I don't fit with the bears.  I should be having surgery right after the new year.  Once I lose the weight guess I will fit in even less.

 I sure hope thats not the case for you bud, I have a great bunch of guys that are around here and my hubby is super supportive. plus he had the bypass as well a week before me so we are both going thru this together.

You do bring up an interesting point of being excluded from the community you embraced just because you became healthier and lost some weight. My personal experience with this is that some people will indeed look at you differently. I don't think people really excluded me. Hey, I am still furry and not the skinniest guy, but a long way from the short chubby bearish guy I was 2 years ago. Most people in the bear community really don't care. I think that is a strength of this community. Most were excluded by other gay communities. So, they know the pain that exclusion brings. The issue that many bears experience after weight loss is people who previously shunned them all a sudden want to date them and be their friend. -- Tom