Dating/Relationships after weight loss - particularly for the guys but all welcome
Happened to stumble across this forum while looking for something else but I things its fantastic to have a GLBT fourm on this website. I have looked back through the last few months of posts but didn't see a lot on the topic...
For those of you post surgery what have you found the challenges to be with dating afterward? Was it tough to develop the confidence to find that someone average size who wasn't a chaser could be interested in you? Other thoughts/experiences or advice on this topic you would care to share?
I will say that dating life has been interesting for me. More than anything, it's been an eye-opening experience about what it is out there, and what people are looking for.
While I have certainly had many positive experiences, the one feeling that I walk away from throughout the entire dating process is how image-focused or superficial people can be. At least in my experience, people seem more interested in the fact that I have a size-31 waist, work out regularly, and keep in great shape. There's almost no interest in anything else of substance. And if there is, it is brought up in the discussion after comments like, "You're hot" or "You're cute."
Generally, I have cast a wide net for the type of men I have chosen to date. They have run the gamut of race, ethnicity, national origins, and body types. I have found that those with larger frames tended to be more interested in me as a person rather than how small my waist is, for example. And I have been more successful in carrying on romantic relationships with them longer than with those who live, eat, and sleep in the gym.
It's all been a learning opportunity for me, and it's compelled me to take a step back to find out what exactly I am looking for out of the next guy. Frankly, with the weight loss, I thought dating life would be simpler. In reality, it's become more complex for me, so I am looking to simplify the best way that I know how.
I hope that was of some benefit to you.
While I have certainly had many positive experiences, the one feeling that I walk away from throughout the entire dating process is how image-focused or superficial people can be. At least in my experience, people seem more interested in the fact that I have a size-31 waist, work out regularly, and keep in great shape. There's almost no interest in anything else of substance. And if there is, it is brought up in the discussion after comments like, "You're hot" or "You're cute."
Generally, I have cast a wide net for the type of men I have chosen to date. They have run the gamut of race, ethnicity, national origins, and body types. I have found that those with larger frames tended to be more interested in me as a person rather than how small my waist is, for example. And I have been more successful in carrying on romantic relationships with them longer than with those who live, eat, and sleep in the gym.
It's all been a learning opportunity for me, and it's compelled me to take a step back to find out what exactly I am looking for out of the next guy. Frankly, with the weight loss, I thought dating life would be simpler. In reality, it's become more complex for me, so I am looking to simplify the best way that I know how.
I hope that was of some benefit to you.
Respectfully,
Xavier Derico
Xavier Derico
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