Stickin' Sabbotage!
OK... So yes, I'm usually the positive supportive one on this forum with lots of encouragement and everything is going so well and positive outlook. Well... I'm coming to grips with the fact that I'm human too and it's not always that easy.
Here goes the honesty... CRAP DAMN FUCK! I'm sabbotaging myself right now. I've been at a plateau for a good 3 months now and I've even increased my workouts. It's totally the food i'm eating. I just took a vacation w/my fiance... a lesbo cruise. The food was a bit much for me and luckily I only gained 1/2 lb on the cruise. but I'm still totally killing it on the food. Last night my fiance and I went to the SYTYCD show. At the intermission I bought and ate an entire soft pretzel and washed it down with a little diet pepsi. Ya... that was about 90 mins after a good dinner. I was sick! I spent about 20 mins of the 2nd half of the show in the bathroom puking it up. Then puked up some more after the show. Then today, I went to lunch with a friend and ate a healthy salad w/chicken. All good. Except I came home to work from hm this afternoon and within 30 mins of being home I ate not 1 but 2 bowls of honey nut cheerios. WTF!!! I may go puke now cuz Penelope Pouch doesn't like this!
I have a good 25 lbs to go until I reach my goal. And to top it all off, we're inseminating this weekend... it's baby time y'all. I want to get rid of these last 25 ******g lbs now! But I'm sabbotaging myself at the same time. AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Here goes the honesty... CRAP DAMN FUCK! I'm sabbotaging myself right now. I've been at a plateau for a good 3 months now and I've even increased my workouts. It's totally the food i'm eating. I just took a vacation w/my fiance... a lesbo cruise. The food was a bit much for me and luckily I only gained 1/2 lb on the cruise. but I'm still totally killing it on the food. Last night my fiance and I went to the SYTYCD show. At the intermission I bought and ate an entire soft pretzel and washed it down with a little diet pepsi. Ya... that was about 90 mins after a good dinner. I was sick! I spent about 20 mins of the 2nd half of the show in the bathroom puking it up. Then puked up some more after the show. Then today, I went to lunch with a friend and ate a healthy salad w/chicken. All good. Except I came home to work from hm this afternoon and within 30 mins of being home I ate not 1 but 2 bowls of honey nut cheerios. WTF!!! I may go puke now cuz Penelope Pouch doesn't like this!
I have a good 25 lbs to go until I reach my goal. And to top it all off, we're inseminating this weekend... it's baby time y'all. I want to get rid of these last 25 ******g lbs now! But I'm sabbotaging myself at the same time. AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Our little miracle baby boy is on his way!
Breathe!!! Get back to basics and measure your food. Good luck with the insemination this weekend. My wife and I are taking our first shot in february. I am just coming off my first plateau (I am not quite 6 mos out yet) and I have been a basket case about it. I was at a wedding over the weekend and it took every bit of me not to eat my frustration. Keep fighting and you will be ok.
Do you eat when you are HAPPY??!! Look at all you have guys done in the last week to 2 weeks - vacation and now baby making!!! I would so BE enjoying food by this point ...maybe you are just excited/happy?? Think happy thoughts!!! Within the next 12 months you'll have a bundle of joy and that 25 pounds will be nothing!!!
Hold on now...just take a min and step back. Take some time to reflect on where you are and that you have been very sucessfull, you have gone so far and probably never thought you would get where you are.
Boost your ego YOU DESERVE it.
Then get your head back in the game. Use some positve reinforcement and remember you will conquer this and anything else that life has to deal you. You didnt get where you are without strength your, strength isnt gone, it just needs to be pulled back out of the closet.
Hugs to you
G
Boost your ego YOU DESERVE it.
Then get your head back in the game. Use some positve reinforcement and remember you will conquer this and anything else that life has to deal you. You didnt get where you are without strength your, strength isnt gone, it just needs to be pulled back out of the closet.
Hugs to you
G
OneFinger
on 11/12/10 11:18 am
on 11/12/10 11:18 am
"...I'm sabotaging myself right now."
You've hit the nail on the head. And, I think most of us have been there and done that.
I seem to sabotage myself when things are going good and I'm within reach of a major success or accomplishment. The old thinking from my childhood creeps into my head telling that I'm no good or don't deserve to succeed. It's hard to turn off those thoughts and no act on them.
You've got so much going for you right now. Try to consider this a minor step backwards and move forward. I can't believe you only gained half a pound on the cruise. That shows a lot of strength and determination.
I really like your idea of going back to the therapist to try identify your sabotage "trigger". That could be a big help.
Best of luck and vent when you need to.
You've hit the nail on the head. And, I think most of us have been there and done that.
I seem to sabotage myself when things are going good and I'm within reach of a major success or accomplishment. The old thinking from my childhood creeps into my head telling that I'm no good or don't deserve to succeed. It's hard to turn off those thoughts and no act on them.
You've got so much going for you right now. Try to consider this a minor step backwards and move forward. I can't believe you only gained half a pound on the cruise. That shows a lot of strength and determination.
I really like your idea of going back to the therapist to try identify your sabotage "trigger". That could be a big help.
Best of luck and vent when you need to.
High Weight = 310 Surgery Weight = 300 Dr's Goal = 200 My Goal = 190 
Boy they can work n our bodies and we are responsible for the work on our heads!! Emotional eating is SO huge for so many of us. Just staggered through some of my own the last day after tough conversations with my new girlfriend about me needing more space and not wanting to make any promises about the future etc... She is a trim and athletic woman who has never struggled with fat in her life and now we are moving to the let's have hot monkey sex stage and I am going to share my stretched out abdomen/boobs self with her. YIKES!!!
Sometimes food is a way of not feeling and it can also function to sabotage us ( mostly for me the messages that I am getting too ****y, successful, confident) and I find myself with some kind of bad food in my hand getting ready to quiet the fear.
I always tell myself that it is important to get out of your head- it's a bad neighborhood and you get mugged in there! Very cool you put it out here with us love. I would imagine all of the wonderful signs of your happy life ( back with your partner, bought a house together and getting ready to have a baby) is simultaneously amazing and scary all at the same time. May be a great time to get back into a short term therapy just to get your head around that and lt let it take too much of your power. You have been rocking it! You deserve that. Go get it chick!
Sometimes food is a way of not feeling and it can also function to sabotage us ( mostly for me the messages that I am getting too ****y, successful, confident) and I find myself with some kind of bad food in my hand getting ready to quiet the fear.
I always tell myself that it is important to get out of your head- it's a bad neighborhood and you get mugged in there! Very cool you put it out here with us love. I would imagine all of the wonderful signs of your happy life ( back with your partner, bought a house together and getting ready to have a baby) is simultaneously amazing and scary all at the same time. May be a great time to get back into a short term therapy just to get your head around that and lt let it take too much of your power. You have been rocking it! You deserve that. Go get it chick!
Jill 
So far, past one year has been lots harder than the weight loss phase. You will be able to eat more and more. I find availability the biggest problem, though emotions do encourage searching through the kitchen. I have to get the temptations out of the house. And, eating out is very, very challenging. I want to play with everyone else but alcohol has kicked my butt a few times and eating and drinking too close together has ended me up lurking back to the car in agony. Exercise and tracking food / weight seem to be key for me. I have to stay aware!
Do you think this could be stress induced? You have had a lot of good changes over the last few months and good or bad, change is stressful!!!! I know that we "know" what to do to stay on track but sometimes we just need some gentle reminders. Before you put something into your mouth - stop - ask yourself - is this food serving my body or my emotions? What am I going to gain by eating this, a healthy life or emotional quick fix? What in my current situation is making me want to eat this food? What can I do to delay putting this food into my mouth - drink something, talk a walk, make a phone call... not buy the offending food to begin with?
I have been struggling lately also. And have been asking myself the same questions -(my answers have been boredom but also a feeling of not being worthy of my new body, throw in a little PMS and bamm psycho eating)... I will be taking my own advice!
Heading into your pregnancy - you need to be very strict on controlling what you eat. The baby is going to need a lot of nutrition and filling up on meaningless carbs will not serve your body or your baby. Plus you do not want to use being pregnant as a subconscious excuse to gain weight - you will need to follow Dr. Z and your OB's instructions to the tee on eating and weight gain. Everything you put in your mouth matters to your baby, both before getting preggo and after. Sometimes we need a temporary crutch to help us overcome... use your pregnancy as a crutch to overcome your sabotaging behavior. Because I know that you will always put your baby first!
You are an incredible strong woman and you can overcome any challenge - even the challenges that we present ourselves. Focus on everything you have learned and all the wisdom that you so openly share with everyone!
Love you!!!!
Carolyn
I have been struggling lately also. And have been asking myself the same questions -(my answers have been boredom but also a feeling of not being worthy of my new body, throw in a little PMS and bamm psycho eating)... I will be taking my own advice!
Heading into your pregnancy - you need to be very strict on controlling what you eat. The baby is going to need a lot of nutrition and filling up on meaningless carbs will not serve your body or your baby. Plus you do not want to use being pregnant as a subconscious excuse to gain weight - you will need to follow Dr. Z and your OB's instructions to the tee on eating and weight gain. Everything you put in your mouth matters to your baby, both before getting preggo and after. Sometimes we need a temporary crutch to help us overcome... use your pregnancy as a crutch to overcome your sabotaging behavior. Because I know that you will always put your baby first!
You are an incredible strong woman and you can overcome any challenge - even the challenges that we present ourselves. Focus on everything you have learned and all the wisdom that you so openly share with everyone!
Love you!!!!
Carolyn
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