MY GAY FAMILY!!!!! Calling all EX-Chubs and Bears

Lord, I thought I was the only gay man having weight loss surgery...for months, I have been reading the general forum without a clue there was a "family" one!!!

I am 6'4 430lbs...I have been big all my life and the surgery doesn't worry me, the recovery doesn't worry me, the lifestyle changes doesn't worry me...BUT what does worry me is I have lived my gay life in the "bear scene" and am just curious if any of you former chubs had some words of advice for a soon to be ex-chub.....

I am so glad I found you all......

LOL I think it's time we send some feelers out to the various forums!

Welcome!!

I don't think I'll ever lose my identity because I'm 6'9".  I will say this though... It used to be that I ony expected looks to come my way from other chubs or bears... having lost all my weight it's so amazingly odd to see twinks and muscle boys come up and flirt with me.  I have to check myself because it's so amazingly bizzare. 

Get ready for the ride of you life!!

Welcome!!!

Thank you Tony!!!! So what was your starting height and weight?

When I first started out I was 6'8"  I was 6'9" until I really started packing on the weight, and due to a car accident the weight compressed my spine.  A year after surgery I was back to 6'9'

I dieted for a long time and my recorded weight was 462.  (I was probably 500 before dieting)  I'm now 262.

 being a super chub here and quite active on the chub and chaser websites, i can definitely say that you WILL lose friends over this.  The only thing I can tell you is that they were never friends to begin with.  they objectified your voluptuousness and didn't really care about YOU.  I will say this and it may not affect you in the same manner.....I am attracted to big guys now......however i think i'm more attracted to their facial hair but I'm an equal opportunity guy LOL  I wish you much success on your journey and welcome to the best board on OH  :)  *HUGE BEAR HUGS*  (yes i still give those LOL)

For advice, how about: "fasten your seatbelts. It's gonna be a bumpy night."

 As someone who gained and lost large amounts of weight a couple of times, the bear and chub communities react in all sorts of ways. One of my favorite parts is that you realize how specific some people's types really are. Guys that had no interest in you will become very interested as you pass through their ideal weight and then become uninterested again as you lose more. 

 There can also be some anger but mostly I tried to look at where it was coming from. Mostly it seemed to be from people who were fairly angry already. Honestly, it was rarely about me.

 But for most people, it will be fine. Good luck with the surgery. Mine is on August 2 and I can't wait.

Welcome my Bear Brother!
I have been active in the Bear community since 1996 and am currently treasurer of The Northeast Ursamen. Great group, do search and check out our website. Lately I am finding people treating me as a non bear now. Over on Bear411 someone even called me a traitor to the Bear community. I am still a Bear inside and am still atrracted to them, but yes, after time other Bears will look at you differently as I am experiencing right now. GOOD LUCK!

I had my surgery in May 2010.....I am down 78 lbs....my bear and cub friends have been supportive. Ok there have been a few that wonder why I had surgery and are detractors. But I did this for me and my health, not for anyone else. I havent lost anyfriends in the bear community and for the most part 99% have been very supportive.

If they are not supportive then you have to ask yourself if they were truely your friend at all.

Best of luck and keep your eyes on the prize.

 First, congratulations on your decision to lead a more healthful lifestyle.  No matter what community you identify with, that's a hard decision to maintain.

As for me, I started my journey at approximately 400 pounds and am now down to 175 pounds three years later.  Whoever above stated that it can be a roller-coaster ride was telling the truth.  At least, that's been my experience.

I am still on the www.bear411.com site, but I don't get very many responses any longer.  I have certainly gotten negative comments, but I have also had some supporters there, too.  It's been touch and go for me.

For me, I have learned to take life one day at a time and to not feel responsible for other people's reactions.  People have all sorts of motivations; it can be tiresome to try to figure them all out.  I am moving forward and keeping my options open to all sorts of people, regardless his waist size.

I have all confidence that you will do well and will come out the other end on top.  Please let me know if there is anything I can do to be of assistance to you during your journey.

Welcome! I am 2 years out and still consider myself bearish. This is a good place to chat. I have met several great friends on htis board. -- Tom from Ohio