"friends"

Hey everyone,
When I first started on my weight loss surgery journey I had a great group of family and friends that were/are my support system. Then as I have posted before my girlfriend at the time and I started having some issues, because I am committed to being healthy and she wasn't ready.  After trying to make it work a couple of times I realized it wasn't going to and walked away. Now it seems my roommates have new "opinions" about me and WLS.
I currently live with two great friends who happen to be a couple (I know mistake number one) My one roommate was extremly supportive and she was actually thinking of having the surgery herself until her partner talked her out of it. Her partner is also a friend of mine, but she is not in favor at all of WLS.
At first everything was great we were all eating healthy dinners, I exercise alot and every now and then they would join me. Well now they are slipping back into their bad habbits and almost want me to follow suite. Like they order pizza or friendly's alot and always ask if I want some, or could I pick it up for them. I don't allow myself to have anything like that, so a couple of times I have said no to picking it up, which I feel horrible doing. I am the type of person that loves to make everyone else happy. But lately since I have gained a little more confidence I have started taking care of me and standing up for me, which apparently they don't like. I mean we are still very good friends, but to keep myself healthy I have decided to move, in with another friend....but I guess I just didn't know if anyone else has gone through this with their friends, and how they handled it.

What Brooke said...  exactly.

Thanks Brooke --- you are right maybe they just aren't true friends. I was reading your response and I used to be the fat friend that would do anything for my friends even if it meant I was unhappy and miserable...as long as they were happy they were still my friend. I am still the friend that would do anything for my friends and family but I won't hurt myself in the process. Thanks for the feedback :-)

Erin,

Good for you for taking care of yourself.  I think moving out of there will be very good for you.  I see so many people struggle with friends, partners, family members bringing food into their house that doesn't serve them - unhealthy food that can trigger the old patterns and behaviors.  I'm really lucky in that I live alone and when my gf is here she is 10000% supportive of me and eats whatever I do.  The only thing she craves is candy that I don't like at all - so it's not a temptation for me at all.

Brooke is right - this journey is all about YOU and you need to set yourself up to win.  If your friends can't see that, then they really aren't true friends.

Good on you, girl!

~Maryn

Um hate to say it but they aren't "really good friends". If they were ...they wouldn't try to sabotage everything you are doing for yourself. She will probably continue this path whether you live there or not. I've seen this so many times in so many posts and even with my gf's friends. I wonder to myself "are they just jealous?" or are they really trying to sabotage it all!!!!

And I think a lot of "heavy" people are use to making everyone else happen. We put ourselves on the back burner ....to either keep friends because we think "who will want to be friends with us anyway" or we try to be recognised for something else other than being "the fat friend". Does that make sense?

I have watched so many people grow and change through their weight loss, including myself. You are doing the RIGHT thing by sticking up for yourself. You know what is right for you. And just remember one thing ....this whole process, this whole journey ...is all about YOU.

Screw the people who can't understand that!!! I think "true friends" will always shine through in a situation like this and the people who you thought were real friends slowly fade away.